The Practice

I hope that you engage in practice with a good heart and from that motivation contribute something good to western society.  That is my prayer and wish.
-Dalai Lama

What is this practice anyway?  The practice we are all to undertake for the betterment of the Self, the human experience and the  world?

The practice we partake is a spiritual one...one where we come in realignment with the true Self and God. Yoga practice constitutes three things, according to Patanjali: accepting pain as help for purification, study of spiritual books and surrender to the supreme Being.

Hmm! are you focusing on those things in your practice?

The Real Practice

Many of us think of a spiritual practice as based around prayer and meditation.  These things are indeed important but what is even more important is learning to practice out there in the ever changing, unpredictable physical world without falling into ego reaction and unconsciousness. We need to learn to work our way through the mental 'discomfort' that the mind perceives.

Accepting Pain as Purification

I am learning to accept pain as part of the purification process though I am not sure what purification means to others. To me it simply means a letting go of attachments to ideas and  things I used to define" me" and to hide "Me". It is the practice of self- discipline or mind control. Things out there will seemingly cause pain, "discomfort," and as we spoke about yesterday, the natural inclination is to run and hide from such discomfort. We react.  If we want to purify the mind of its mental modifications, however, we need to learn to accept discomfort and pain and work our way through it. So every experience of discomfort that comes to us either by circumstance or other people is actually an opportunity to learn, to grow and to evolve. Instead of running from such experiences, we need to welcome them into our daily practice.

Facing Uncomfortable Challenges

Michael Singer, in the untethered soul, teaches that we do this by learning to Be here with every experience be it painful or not.  We witness, observe  and watch from the deeper Self the reactions and tendencies of the little self. Instead of slipping into unconscious reaction and egoic melodrama ...we learn to realize that Who we really are is not effected at all by what is happening out there.  This is being centered and clear.  This is being here and it is an eternal, never-ending  practice necessary if we want to gain this self-discipline and mind control so we can transcend.

The practice of facing that which isn't comfortable can be uncomfortable, facing challenges is challenging,g  but it is better than the alternative in the long run.  We suffer much more pain when we allow the mind to run out of control.

Self-Discipline: Taking the Wheel or the Reins

Singer uses the example of driving a car when we do not know how to drive, to describe the experience of not being in control of our mind as we go through life.  I love this description offered by Satchidananda:

Normally the mind is like a wild horse tied to a chariot.  Imagine the body is the chariot; the intelligence is the charioteer; the mind is the reins;. and the horses are the senses.  The self, or true you, is a passenger.  If the horses are allowed to gallop without reins and charioteer, the journey will not be safe for the passenger.  Although control of the senses and organs often bring pain in the beginning, it eventually ends in happiness. ( page 75)

 

 

 

The best way to master the mind is through awareness.  By being aware of what is triggering it, how we are reacting and behaving because of it ...we learn to see the difference between the little "me's' reaction and the Greater Self's unflinching response.  We realize that the more we respond to Life in a clear centered way, the more peace we experience, the more connected to the Ultimate we know we are. It is then an important part of spiritual practice.

 

 

Study

 

Studying scripture

 

 

The next Tapa to help keep us successful in our practice is study.  As we learned from above,  a big part of that is studying our own individual minds.  The other part is studying scripture or the guiding words of masters. Now the chosen 'scriptures' read will be different for all of us.  If you are purely Christian in your approach to spirituality, you will of course, focus on the Bible.  If you are devotedly Muslim, you will study the Koran.  If you are Buddhist, you may study the Buddhist sutras, Hindu...the Gita, the Vedanta's, the Upanishads etc.   If you are like me, convinced that there is one underlying truth in all scripture you will dig into all of it. Anything that elevates the mind and reminds you of your true Self should be studied. (Satchidananda, pg 77)  The more we read, the more we expand our minds so we are eventually prepped to understand that which can not be understood by the mind.

 

Remember it is only a pointing finger

 

Tolle, in the Power of Now reminds us that though study of scripture can aid us in our spiritual development, it can't be our spiritual development.  The words read are just fingers pointing us in the direction we need to go to fully understand Self and therefore God. We will never truly know who we Really are and who God is with thoughts, names, labels or concepts.  God cannot be understood by books alone. (Satchidananda, 77) and The self cannot be known by theory alone (Satchidnanda, pg 78). 

 

Unlike modern psychology, which proposes that understanding everything involves the mind,  Yoga offers s different approach to understanding.  It teaches that we cannot truly understand what is truly important with the mind.  We must transcend it. Einstein said the same thing : The human mind, no matter how highly trained, cannot grasp the universe. (Goodreads)

 

Satchidanada suggests that we limit our reading and our quoting from scripture (oops!) and simply put into practice what we learn.  Gain an understanding of the theory and move on to the practicum. I have always liked the theory in my learning. It was safer for me.   I realize I need more practical experience.

 

 

Surrender to God

 

Mine binds; Thine liberates

 

Our spiritual practice is never just for the little me.  As the Dalai Lama quotes above, our practice is meant to be done with a compassionate heart that wants to provide a good service to all. When we surrender to God, we let go of any selfishness, any  desire for ego gains and any struggle to understand with the mind.  We also dedicate all our practice to God which also means to each other.  We remove the "me" ness from it and we serve.

 

Everything we do, then,  in this practice is ultimately for God.  We let go and surrender  to God's will. "I am Thine. All is Thine. Thy will be done." (page 79)  That is ultimately what frees us.

 

How cool is that?

 

 

All is well in my world.

 

References

 

 

Sri Swami Satchidananda ( 2011) The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Yogaville: Integral Yoga Publications

Singer, Michael (2007) the untethered soul. New Harbinger Publications

 

Tolle, Eckhart. (2004) The Power of Now. Novato: New World Publications

Humane Detachment

As you become more detached from the world, rather than denying your humanity, you become more humane.
Dalai Lama (from my calendar page for May 17th.)

Moving to the next grade

So there are two ways you can live your life.  You can devote your life to staying in your comfort zone, or you can work on your freedom.
Michael Singer from the untethered soul

Seeking the Comfortable

Are you running towards what is comfortable and away from what is not?  Most of us do this, don't we?  It is probably the human thing to do...a result of our basic survival instincts, but is it the best thing we could be doing for our spiritual evolution? What are we really doing when we retreat back into the comfort zones of our inner development?

I found myself over the last few days retreating back into the yoga comfort zone I had already built.  Feeling a little physically unsettled, it seemed easier for me to retreat back to learning I already mastered instead of venturing out into the 'scary' unknown.  The already learned is comfortable isn't it?  The other stuff isn't so comfortable.  So I was reading through old yoga questions I had answered in my course, breezing through texts I have read many time and even reviewing sequences that I have down pat.  What's wrong with that?  Nothing is wrong with that as long as I am just reviewing as a refresher so I can move onward to new challenges....and not hiding in there. 

Hiding in the Comfort Zone of What has already Been Mastered

To be honest, I think I was hiding in the comfortable so I wouldn't have to face the uncomfortable.  Hours of my day were spent reviewing what I already mastered and patting myself on the back for it instead of stepping with trembling legs into the areas I have yet to master. 

Singer, in the untethered soul, compares this retreat into the comfortable as going back to grade five math after it was already successfully completed only because it will be easier.  It will be easier and more comfortable and we will be seen as the smartest kids there because we already learned that stuff. But we can't stay in grade five math for the rest of our lives can we? In order to develop our math skills, we need to go to grade six where new lessons, new challenges  will be provided.

We can't stay where we already have gained mastery in life either.  We must move on if we want to grow. New learning, new challenges, new experiences, however,  can feel unsettling to a mind  that just wants peace. And the mind wanting to restore whatever it can in terms of mental balance and homeostasis will often lead us back to the comfortable rather than forward into the unknown.  The mind has a tendency to retreat and retract when it becomes uncomfortable like when a need for new learning is required. There is a need for new learning in not only my yoga practice but my life.  There is so much more inner development to master.

Always a Need to Learn More, grow More and Evolve More

In terms of my practice, however, I  need to take yoga a step beyond what I already know.  I am half afraid to because I do not know how much more my body will let me do.  still I can't stay stuck here if I want to continue to grow as a yoga student and teacher. I need, in simpler terms, to develop new sequences and class material.  In deeper terms, I need to master other areas of my body,  life and mind. I need to stop running from new challenges and experiences and start running toward them.

Hmmm!  My mind doesn't like that.  It is already putting up defenses and saying "No, come back here where it is safe and just lay back into what you already know.  You do not have to go out there when we can keep you safe in here."

I am reminded of this quote: A ship  in a harbour is safe, but that is not what ships were built for. John A. Shedd

We are meant to grow, learn, evolve not hide in old learning.

All is well in my world.


Michael singer (2007 ) the untethered soul. New Harbinger Publications

Padartha and Naming the Ultimate

The name and  form of a thing are inseparable.
-Sri swami Satchidananda

There is a Sanskrit word that beautifully describes what we spoke about many times in naming things.  Padarthra (with an accent missing)can be broken down to mean the thing and its meaning.

Though what is truly valuable to understand is nameless, Satchidananda does speak about the naming of things like God just so we can conceptualize and understand with the mind.  Naming, however, does not express the full experience or nature of a something.

But in the normal sense, a name may mean something but it cannot convey the exact nature of  that thing.

The name "chair"  can remind you of a chair but you can't sit on it.

So we can name God but we do not know or experience God by naming. 


We name in a way that will take us out of our separate ideologies and  help bring us to a deeper understanding and connection with God.  Patanajali suggested using the "Om" as the universal name.  It represents the hum of all life. It is also the sound found in Amen .  So if we do choose to name God so we can someday better know God, according to Yoga teaching,  .... we use "om."

But God's name should not only denote the fullness of God and itself represent God, it should also bring God to you.

Let's look at it a little deeper by using the symbol and the sound in our naming.

 



Om is like a hum...the hum of Life. It is the thing that is already vibrating in you.

It is actually A-U-M followed by a dissolving of sound into silence (anahata), according to the Mandukya Upanishads (again...no accents :( ).

A, as it begins the alphabet and every sound in the universe is represented by the bottom curve on the left.  When we begin reciting the mantra it is the sound that comes from the throat...the same sound we make when a doctor ( or nurse) checks our throat. It represents the "awakened" state of consciousness.

U is made as the sound comes forward between the tongue and palate. "oo".  It is represented in the symbol by the middle curve on the right that may look an elephant's trunk (Ganesha) .  It represents the dream state of consciousness. 

M is the sound that is made when we close our lips.  It is represented by the top curve on the left and symbolizes our state of deep sleep/unconsciousness.

This AUM is japa or repetition.

After the M' dissolves there is still vibration but it is an unspoken vibration or ajapa.

On the top of the symbol, the dash like character represents maya or illusion...all the physical world we absorb and perceive  through our senses.  Above that we have a dot which represents the "Ultimate"...God in the fullest sense, that has the power to create everything. 

The repetition of the sound "om" which is the beginning of all sound, the representation of all life also has the power to open us up to true union.  Maybe that is why this is also the symbol for yoga.


That is why anyone who really wants to see God face to face will ultimately see God as OM. That is why it transcends all geographical, political or theological limitations.  It doesn't belong to one country or one religion; it belongs to the entire universe.

All is well


https://www.onetribeapparel.com/blogs/pai/what-does-the-om-symbol-mean

Sri Swami Satchidananda ( 2011) The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Yogaville: Integral Yoga publications....Sutra 27, Book One

He who Knows Himself is Intelligent

Chapter/Verse 33   

 

He who knows other men is discerning; he who knows himself is intelligent.  He who overcomes others is strong; he who overcomes himself is mighty.  He who is satisfied with his lot is rich; he who goes on acting with energy has a(firm)will.

 

He who does not fail in the requirements of his position, continues long; he who dies and yet does not perish, has longevity.

-LaoTzu; Tao Te Ching, as translated by J. Legge

 

 

I am breezing through the Yoga Sutras again as a bit of a refresher and was impressed how the description of Yoga that Patanjali provides through Satchidananda applies to this chapter of the Tao Te Ching. Sri Swami Satchidananda was committed to teaching the connection and Oneness between all faith traditions.  "One truth, many paths",  was his motto. What is that connection?  "Man, know thyself."

 

Knowing the Self

 

Yoga is all about knowing yourself again.  It is about reconnecting to the true Self beneath this idea we have of Self composed by the mind and ego. Yoga, as does many practises: eastern or western, teaches that if we learn to control the mind, rather than continue to allow it to control us, we will naturally fall into the true self.  The nature of that true Self is peace. The practice of yoga involves learning to work with the mind to reunite with that state of peace. Patanjali's famous description of yoga practice exemplifies this: "If you can control the rising of  mind into ripples, you will experience yoga.

 

Yoga, like the teachings of the Tao,  is not about controlling, fixing, manipulating demanding of  the outside world.  It is not about knowing others or overcoming others or things out there. It is not about fighting, struggling or just getting by.  It is not about wanting, desiring or preferring. Nor is it about just doing our life job satisfactorily  and being merely satisfied with life. Spirituality, in whatever form it takes, is not about  outside world focus at all.

 

Inward, not outward

 

We focus inward, not outward if we truly want peace.  (I must stress here that in and out are just mental concepts and there really is no in or no out). We do not fall into our natural state of peace when we focus on worldly things.  That is mind stuff that actually distracts us from knowing Self and the peace that knowing provides. If we truly want to return to our natural state of Being...we go inward.  We only can get there ( if there was truly a there) by getting beyond all the mind stuff that prevents us from seeing Self, truth, God. We work with the mind. The mind is the source of our peace-less states, our egoic neurosis, our 'suffering' and the mind is the solution.  We learn to witness it, understand it a bit and then eventually transcend it.

 

Peace, the natural state of being

 

According to Patanjali we are normally in a peaceful state.  Peace is our natural state of Being. The mind, however, is not comfortable with that state .  It wants more.  It looks out onto the external world of form and it begins to desire and prefer certain things, people and experiences as well as certain thoughts, images and emotions. Want is created and then the effort to chase after, get and cling to what is wanted is spent.  Once we get what we went after, mind is satisfied for a bit.  It quiets down.  It stops chattering away.  It is only when the mind is still that we experience that peace, that sense of satisfaction. 

 

It is not so much that the mind got what it wanted...that we feel satisfied...it is that we stopped thinking for a bit, the mind-stuff was restrained, we controlled the rising of the mind into ripples and fell into our natural state of Self.  We reunited and connected with that Self ( which was always there anyway ) and this is Yoga. So yoga then is pretty simple ...it simply means being who we are.

 

Mental modifications

 

But the mind has other ideas for us.  It keeps telling us that we are 'satisfied' because of what we get from the outer world, not because of any connection to Self. The mental modifications keep pulling us away from this Self, this natural state of peace by filling or heads with more preferences to desire, more dislikes to avoid and more wants to chase after. So we may feel "good" when we get the thing we chased after or got rid of the thing we didn't want...but it won't last.  The mind will just go onto the next want, the next preference taking us away  from peace, again and again.

 

Transcending the Mind

 

 The trick is getting beyond the thinking mind.  It is not an easy process, Patanjali warns.  we cannot get rid of all thinking just like that.  We learn to simply witness the mind, understand it a bit without believing everything it tells us, and  we learn to work with it to help it select the thoughts and feelings and actions that will benefit the greater Self, rather than the little self. Then we will gradually get beyond it. So instead of focusing out there let's focus on in here.  Instead of trying to know and overcome others...let's work on knowing and overcoming Self.  Let's practice  controlling the mind into ripples.

 

All is well in my world.

Freedom from Suffering

Suffering comes from confusing Self with a socially induced hallucination.
-Deepak Chopra

Life Goal

I have set 'peace' as my life goal.  Of course, to me peace is transcendence, truth, connection with Self, God. It is the ultimate experience of living. I am not looking for the perfect Life free of hardship, not looking for a high or 'a buzz, not looking for 'perfect health' ...and I am not even looking for 'happiness' as we tend to define it .  I just want to be free of suffering. 

Freedom from suffering

Freedom from suffering, doesn't mean that I  expect to never  to have physical or emotional pain again, to never  have circumstances show up in my life that are  challenging or even traumatic again.  To me, being free of suffering means being able to respond to Life and all it offers peacefully instead of reacting from a fear based ego. It means no longer thinking and feeling like I have to struggle, fight, chase after, resist, numb or retreat from Life just to get by.  It means being able to surrender to Life and all it offers in the moment.

The freedom I want is internal.  I want to be released from the chains and shackles I have snapped on myself. It is freedom of the egoic mind's control over me, that I long for.  That, I believe is peace, is transcendence...is this elusive enlightenment the spiritual masters have been speaking about for centuries. I want to wake up and realize, I am free.

Not there yet

I am not "there" yet.  I know this isn't about getting anywhere but "here" but I still think in terms of "arriving" somewhere because I am not as evolved as I hope to be. I still think in terms of duality.  I still "think" too much.  :) It is my thinking that still acts as a veil or wall to my "being here" and therefore mentally "getting there".

Because of that, I still "suffer".  Physically I feel 'unwell'.  Mentally and emotionally I feel down.  Life circumstances offered me are still challenging to deal with. Ironically, the less I think and the less I look to the outside for satisfaction and fulfillment...the more physically, emotionally and mentally down I feel.  I also seem to have quite challenging things that need to be dealt with at a time when energy levels are low. Everything exhausts me. I wonder if this is part of the waking up process, a sign that I am indeed letting go of the illusionary 'hope for something out there' that sustained me for so long.  When things got tough I would always escape from the moment, slip into my mind with all its distracting and numbing thinking  and 'wait' for things to get better in the next moment. Now, it is like going without a drug that I was physically and psychologically addicted to.  I am craving, jonesing, slipping and it is all part of the recovery process.


Recovery

I am recovering.  I am progressing.  I am evolving and I am waking up.  There is, however,  still a great deal of mental conditioning in front of who I am.  My error maybe in assuming that I need to work my way through those heavy layers, to  "dig", and "shovel' and "pick" at it all.  My mind still has the power to convince me(this me I still think I am at times)  that what is in front of me  is dense...is form ...is real. Even though the Self, hidden beneath all that rubble, calls out to me that it isn't real at all, I still slip back into believing it is. 

Slipping through the Barrier

I know the only barrier between who I really am and who I have been socially conditioned to believe I am is what my mind has created.  And "I", whoever "I" is, am  responsible for that mind. Yet, I still find myself on this side of the rubble, instead of beneath it/behind it  where I so want to be.  I am  understanding it all conceptually so beautifully but am not truly knowing it in terms of 'experiencing' it. I am not fully conscious. I still have yet to completely open up the door between who I think I am and who I truly am because I am caught up in the thinking.

Only consciousness can know consciousness, only consciousness can understand consciousness and only consciousness can experience consciousness. (Deepak Chopra)

I want to be able to fall naturally into Self. Sigh! I will.

It is all good.

Who is asking, "Who am I"?

We seem to be sitting still

but we are actually moving,

and the fantasies of phenomenon

are actually sliding through us,

like ideas through curtains.

-Rumi from The Well

 

I have been thinking a lot about who we really are and what stops us from knowing that. I was thinking about the importance of not closing the curtain over that Self with our thinking. I happened across a video today of a Healing summit hosted by three of my favorite teachers in the whole world: Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer and Eckhart Tolle.  (Why are they my favorite teachers?  Because I 'feel" what they have or had to say. Oh but atlas there is no room for preferences in life, is there?) 

 

The question that was the subject matter for the lecture was, "Who is asking, who am I?" The theme  was about becoming aware of awareness so that we can have complete alignment with the present moment and therefore experience Life fully. It was about transcending thought which provides a veil or a curtain over that background of the spaciousness, the presence, and the truth that is us.

 

 

The real you is the timeless observer in the midst of time bound observation. -Deepak Chopra.

 

 

Expectations

 

Chopra and Tolle both explain that the so called 'problems' we may have with Life are usually the result of our expectations that the things out there: circumstances, objects, people should make us happy.  Maybe we need to strive, work hard, fix, control, manipulate and wait in order to get things the way they should be in order for that to happen but eventually our inner fulfillment is a consequence of what is happening out there. At least that is what we are conditioned to believe.

 

Finding love, joy, completeness, however, is an inner game not an outer one.  What we fail to realize is that we are already joyful, complete and Love.  The only thing that stops us from knowing that is our thinking.  We need to find a way to transcend thought, which doesn't mean we leave all thought behind.  It only means we learn to use thought instead of having thought use us.

 

Verbs not nouns.

 

One way of transcending is realizing that "the things" out there are actually verbs not nouns. You are a verb, circumstances are verbs, the universe is a verb.

 

Say what?

 

Everything we identify with in this physical world, is a process, impermanent and in constant flux.  The body is constantly changing, circumstances are constantly unfolding and disappearing, the mind and the idea of 'me' is never the same from one moment to the next and the universe is a process of evolution not a static thing. The things around us will not make us "happy".  The universe we experience and everything in it, is just a process of fluctuating sensing, picturing, feeling and thinking.

 

The only way to find true joy is to realize who we are amongst the flux.

 

What is eternal and unchanging is that  permanent, unchanging "being" that is aware of all of this, that is aware of awareness. We often call it "the observer" but it is neither the observer or the observed, the object or the subject.  It was never born, nor will it die.  It was the starting point for joy and it will be the ending point. Therefore, it cannot be found out there.  Finding it, doesn't mean going on a physical or mental search for it out there or in the future.  The journey to knowing this is actually a "journey without distance."

 

All we need to do is find the space in between thoughts and we have opened up to it.  It exists right here, right now where it always was.  The only reason we don't know that, is because we allow the thinking mind to distract us, and pull us away into the impermanent flux of physical world crap.  We don't necessarily have to stop thinking, we just need to be aware we are thinking so we do not get lost in it. We don't have to go anywhere, do anything to find who we are...we just need to know we are already here.  We don't need to fight or struggle against the distracting physical world either.  At some point we will simply realize we do not need to be distracted. All there is is now and we are that now.

 

Who am I that is asking who am I?

 

 

Ask who am I that is asking, who am I in silence and stillness and we will connect to that living realization.  We will transcend the curtain and the thought traffic for the spacious, unchanging stillness that is us. That is where we will experience the joy, love and completeness  we have erroneously looked outward for until now. 

 

 

 

Who am I,

standing in the midst

of this thought-traffic?

-Rumi, The Well

 

 

All is well. 

 

References

 

 

Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer and Eckhart Tolle. Who is I? Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiBy1yEhxwQ

 

 

Rumi (n.d.) The Well. Retrieved fromhttp://rumidays.blogspot.com/2010/04/well.html

Equanimity is the Cure

The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences. When love and hate are both absent everything becomes clear and undisguised. Make the smallest distinction, however, and heaven and earth are set infinitely apart...

If you wish to see the truth hold no opinion for or against. The struggle of what one likes and what one dislikes is the disease of the mind.
-Jianzhi Sengcan from Xinxin Ming

There is not much I can say to that.  Perfectly put. Preference is a disease of the mind that prevents us from naturally falling into Self; equanimity is the cure.

All is well

Yoga, a Practice of Not Closing

If you can control the rising of the mind into ripples, you will experience yoga.
Patanjali (from The yoga sutras of Patanjali, Satchidanada, page 3)


If one really wants to understand Yoga in a very applicable and non threatening  way, one just needs to pick up a book by Michael Singer entitled The Untethered Soul or listen to him speak.  He puts the whole universal teaching of the Sutras into a very easy to understand format that can be so easily applied to everyday life.

Put simply Yoga is about knowing what you really want and then seeking it in a daily practice.

Knowing what you really want

In a video entitled What do you really want?,  Singer teaches that yoga is all about making the distinction between what we 'think' we want and what we 'really' want. Unlike other teachings out there now, yoga is not about manifesting abundance or attracting the 'things' we assume will make us happy from the world around us; nor is it about getting rid of all the things that are not so pleasant in our lives that we assume are making us unhappy.  It isn't about chasing, controlling, getting, fixing or avoiding  people, places, things or circumstances. It really isn't about the world around us at all.  It is about what is inside. 

What we really, really want from life is something that can only be found inside, something that is already there, has always been there and will always be there.

It is not that soul mate, or that perfect house in the perfect neighborhood you really want.  It is not the Porsche or that great 6 figure salary job either. Of course, for most of us, those are the types of things we would list if we were asked to compile a list of things we would like to 'manifest' in our worlds. If I asked you right now, what do you want from life, you would likely give me one of those external things right?

What if I told you, you  could have anything on your 'want to manifest' list but that it would not make you happy?  In fact, you will be depressed, unfulfilled, and more miserable than you are now when you get any of those things. Would you still want it then?

No.  Because you do not want to be miserable, do you?  What you really, really want is to be happy, to be at peace, to be joyous and fulfilled. You assume these things on your list will take you there.

Not Wanting

Our wanting also comes with a lot of not wanting.  Many of us may actually have on our manifesting lists things like:  "I want to be free of debt."  "I want my pain to go away."  "I want an end to this loneliness." etc.  Debt, pain and loneliness are obviously things that belong in a "not wanting" list, right?

What if, however, I could guarantee you that these three things will make you remarkably happy in a little while.  What if I promised you that if you accepted a lack of money, partner and physical pain into your life you will suddenly feel joy and peace and love and happiness; that you will wake up each morning to look out at the world before you and be so thrilled with everything about it ?  Would you still want to avoid them then ?  Or would they become things you would excitedly ask for?

What the heck am I getting at?

The point is what you really, really want is not the external thing, the circumstance or the person. It is not the removal of the so called 'unwanted' or unpleasant  from your life, either.  It is the condition you mistakenly attach to it.  What you really want is the peace, joy, freedom, excitement and fulfillment you erroneously assume these things will bring you .  What you really want is something you already have that cannot be found "out there".  What you really want is inside you where it has always been. Seeking fulfillment, wholeness, joy and love in outside 'stuff' is an indirect, challenging and often unsuccessful approach to getting what you really want.

Say what, crazy lady?

What yoga offers is a union with your inner world where peace abounds.  It connects you to your true Self that is happy, joyful, peaceful, whole, well and enthusiastic already. What you really want is in you now. Yoga keeps your Life open to that flow. Yoga can show you that  you already are, you already have what you want.

The mind, however, with all its 'mental modifications'  gets in the way of yoga.  It allows its streams of thought and conditions, established beliefs and emotional reactions to 'block' this open flow of well being that is in all of us. It is not the world or  the circumstances, out there that is making our lives less than what they are intended to be...it is our minds.  And we are totally responsible for whether our hearts and minds are open or closed; whether or not we are open and closed to Life.

If you are not feeling joy and bliss and love and peace all the time...then you are closing up  to what Life has to offer with your thinking, believing, reacting etc. You are closing and responsible for that closing.  Anytime you find yourself complaining about the way things are or aren't; anytime you find yourself chasing or wanting more; anytime you are fighting and struggling against what is in the given moment; anytime you find yourself in a heated argument with another or suddenly judging or disproving of another ...you are closing.  You are blocking the flow with your mind.

So What do we do?

We practice yoga. I don't care if you call it yoga or doing the hula...the point is you partake in a spiritual practice that involves  seeking this truth from within rather than chasing outwardly for what you think you want.  Know the difference between what you 'think' you want and what you 'really' want. 

Choose to take the direct route to happiness. Go to the mind, not the outside world,  to fix the so called 'problems' with your life. Clean up the mess the mind has made, remove all plaque and scar tissue from the vessels that spiritually feed you so you are completely open to the flow.  Singer stresses that we do not focus on staying open in our yoga practice, we focus on 'not closing."

Don't Close: a true yoga practice

The question isn't how do I stay open to life, according to Singer.  The question is, how do I stop closing? Here are some steps that might help:

1. Know the difference between what we "really want" and what we think we want.  Once we make that distinction we will become aware of our closing tendency.
2. Make a commitment to practice. Our practice will be to "Don't Close." It will be a practice of yoga or whatever else you want to call it that involves turning our attention inward rather than outward.Without practice, nothing can be achieved. (Satchidananda, page 3)
3. Observe the little self in action. We need to be vigilant and aware in our practice.  Most of us walk around unconscious or semi-conscious, so lost in our monkey minds, believing  all they tell us that we do not see how we are shutting down from this wonderful flow of life within us. We need to recognize when we are closing.  What things in the outside world  makes us cringe, back away, react, want to numb or avoid?  What and who  are we complaining about? When do we get angry, irritated or annoyed?  Watch yourself as you travel around in this physical world.  Catch yourself closing.
4. Take responsibility for your own mind and what it does. Know that every time you choose the need to be right over the need to be kind, you are choosing to close.  Every time you complain about how things are, you are choosing to close.  Every time you decide to focus on a shortcoming in a loved one's personality or behaviour rather than to stay enveloped in the experience of love, you are choosing to close.  Every time you snap at someone else or at life for being the way it is, you are choosing to close.  Every time you get lost in mind stuff rather than  presence, you are choosing to close. Every time you struggle against, resist or avoid something in Life, you are choosing to close. You are doing all this to yourself.  Own that.
5. Repeat to Self: I am not going to let the outside world [or my mind] close me. Singer suggests we  repeat that mantra to ourselves when we make a conscious decision to stay open or when we  recognize we are beginning to close.  We need to be committed to the practice of not closing.
6. Accept.  Learn to accept, honour and appreciate the experiences unfolding in front of you. (Singer; ) Instead of struggling against life which equates to closing, we need to be open and receptive to all Life offers us. By not closing, we will stay open.

I know it seems so easy and it isn't.  But it is a lot easier to find what we are looking for by directly going to the source, than going indirectly around in circles to find it, right?

All is well in my world.

References

Sri Swami Satchidananda. (2011) The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Integral Yoga Publications

Michael Singer (2007) the untethered soul. New Harbinger Publications.

Michael Singer (October, 2018) What do you really want? New Harbinger. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73-2PggJJW0

The Light Within

There is always a light within us that is free from all sorrow and grief, no matter how much we may be experiencing suffering.
-Patanjali (https://www.azquotes.com/author/91621-Patanjali)

 Quote by Patanjali, translated by someone; Pic by last evening's post rain sky, translated by my camera.  :)

Wise words from Patanjali

When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all thoughts break their bonds; your mind transcends limitation; your consciousness expands in every direction; and you find yourself in a great, new and wonderful world.
-Patanjali

I was thinking about this wise master this morning for all kinds of reasons.  Heard him mentioned in an old Wayne Dyer video.  I also had a conversation last evening with my daughter about my approach to teaching yoga which is partially based on my studying in depth The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali.

I cannot verify the following.  I took them from AZ quotes. https://www.azquotes.com/author/91621-Patanjali None of the listed quotes refer to the translation of the sutras they were taken form and we all know how different translations of ancient scripture or text can be from one translator to another. So bear with me and try to dwell on the meaning of each piece of wisdom instead of trying to authenticate the source. :)

Let's look at the opening  quote.

Inspiration

Wayne Dyer loved this quote and recited it often.  It touches a chord in me as well. Inspiration has a way of carrying us away from our mental prisons and limitations.  It expands our consciousness making us see ourselves for who we really are and the world for what it really is.  Everything is suddenly completely 'awesome'.

What is inspiration? 

According to Patanjali, it is what happens when we get lost in something that has true meaning for us deep down and 'spiritually'.  Being inspired is being "in" "spirit". We could discover a great purpose for our lives or undertake a project that we are passionate about.  We know we are deeply 'inspired' when all our doubts about our abilities, all our obstacles, our effort and our sense of time  slips away.

As I mentioned, I have been writing my sister's story and it has been taking me a fair amount of time.  I was getting these 'blocks' and found myself avoiding coming to the page.  I certainly wasn't doing the 2000 word a day limit I like to complete when I write.  It became  an emotional process rather than an inspired one, in which I am as a person deeply invested. A few weeks ago I reached out to my sister, who is also a writer, and asked her to read it.  I thought if I had someone as invested in me in this story it would help me to decide if I should walk away from it or not.  As soon as she agreed to read it, I made a conscious decision to give her the best version of the story I could and to give her at least half of it.  So I went back to the novel with an intention of revising, editing and completing at least 40,000 words.

An amazing thing happened.  I became inspired.  The 'personal' and 'mental' limitations I have been putting on myself slipped away and I began to write, not for ego, but for spirit and the words are just coming out.  I am connecting to the story at a deeper level and I am feeling it.  I write about 2000 words a day and time just slips away.  Getting that word count is my purpose now.  Nothing else seems to matter quite as much. I am passionate about it.  This I believe is what Patanjali was speaking to. When spirit guides us rather than ego...we can get past our self imposed obstacles and do amazing things.

How cool is that?


A mind freed of all disturbance is yoga.
-Patanjali

This is why I want to teach yoga.  My goal is to help people calm their unsettled minds and relax into their bodies, their worlds, their lives.  I am certified to teach Hatha yoga which focuses on the asanas and on breath.  Though, I am far from qualified to teach Raja yoga (the Yoga of the mind) I am going to make peace of mind my teaching goal rather than a great, fit and tone body for each of my students.  Physically, I am not able to do yoga myself the way I used to.  I am able, however, to do gentle postures and relaxation techniques.  I can slip in some subtle and non aggressive teaching in there as well. I will call my teaching practice "Serenity yoga" and my description will be "a gentle yoga practice for peace of mind."  I don't profess to be able to free all minds of all disturbances but for at least an hour, so many times a week, I can offer a serene environment and instruction that will help in that area.

It is all good.

There are so many quotes I wanted to discuss but my daughter is anxious for me to make breakfast.  I will get back to you.

All is well.

The Music of Spring

Bees now buzzing, brightly sing,

with the chirping birds they bring,

Nature's pleasing music near,

sounds of spring found full of cheer.

-from a poem by Dwayne Leon Rankin, found on http://www.voicesnet.com/displayonepoem.aspx?poemid=170487

 



What I love most about a spring morning is the music.  I sit outside with my tea and I  close my eyes. I just listen to life vibrating all around me.  I hear the melody of a misfit choir of birds: robins, chickadees, sparrows, ducks, geese, flickers, morning doves  and crows. I hear the chatter of angry squirrels and the warnings of dogs barking in the distance. I hear the buzz of flying insects and the breeze through branches still waiting to bud and blossom.  There is a comforting hum of traffic and machinery way in the distance. It is such a beautiful sound of Life.

 I just close my eyes and I listen.  I try not to name the sounds I am hearing like I just did here.  I just try to hear them, feel them, be with them and I, like the world around me, wake up and  become alive.  It is a nice way to meditate in the morning.

All is well in my world.

Waiting? Snap out of it!

Give up waiting as a state of mind. When you catch yourself slipping into waiting, snap out of it. Come into the present moment. Just be and enjoy being.
-Eckhart Tolle

Ironically, that was my quote of the day after I wrote that last entry on waiting.  Go figure. 

I understand where Tolle is coming from.  Many of us are in a perpetual state of waiting.  We wait for something 'better' to come along in the future or in some cases, something ominous.  We wait for this present moment to be over. "Things will be better when I get this, that person shows up, this thing happens or that thing goes away."  Or if we are on a neurotic binge: "I need to prepare for when this , that or the other thing happens. I need to find a way to control it, fix it, run from it etc."

He wasn't actually referring to the waiting in a waiting room...which can, by the way, be a very mindful present moment experience as it was for us the other day. He was speaking about the mental waiting most of us do when we live in our minds and project into the future.  Waiting can be an attempt to escape the present moment.  Escaping the present moment takes us away from Life in this moment...the only Life there actually is. You know that all there is is now, right?  The past is just a wake left behind us and the future is just a mental projection that never 'is'. All that is...is now.

So we need to put away our need to cling to the past and project into the future. We need to snap out of our habit of waiting, come into the present moment and enjoy being.

All is well in my world.

Waiting Peacefully

Peace is not just about waiting for something.....it is about how you wait, or your attitude while waiting.
- Joyce Myer

Another great place to practice peaceful mindfulness is in a waiting room as you wait for someone to return from major surgery. We are sitting here waiting and resigned to the fact that is all we can do.  We have no power in changing the outcome of that situation going on in there. No matter how much we worry or pace nothing will change.  We even took the surgeon's advice and went back to the motel for a bit.  I was able to put my hyper charged energy to good use by writing another 2000+ words on my novel. Not knowing when the surgery will be over.....told it will be anywhere from 4-7 hours....we spent the first four hours away. Now the waiting begins ...and that is okay. I feel peaceful and calm, accepting things as they are.  It helps that we trust the surgical team in there and we  trust Life. It is all good.

All is well in my world.

Nature wants you to heal and move on

Forgiveness is the fragrance, rare and sweet,

that flowers yield when trampled on by feet,

that reckless tread the tender, teeming earth;

for blossoms crushed and bleeding yet give birth

to pardon's perfume; from the stern decrees

of unforgiveness. Nature ever flees.

-Ella A. Giles (1890)

I am feeling a bit lost and I am not sure why.  I am trying to sort through some things that need to be done and I am struggling with doing so. It could have a lot to do with the fact that I  am writing my sister's story, another novel attempt, and it is quite challenging to go back and remember things one would rather not remember.  It makes me see some rationalization for my own life being the way it is right now. I am looking back behind me and saying..."That must be why I am stuck now; why things are not working out the way I want them to."

Sigh...I am trying to pin my lack of moving forward on the past.  I am reminded of an allegory used by Allan Watts and relayed by Wayne Dyer on more than one occasion.  I will do my best to put it in my own words.

 

The Wake

 

Allan Watts has offered this wonderful way of looking at the past.  He instructs us to imagine we are on a boat going fairly quickly across the water.  We are to imagine that we are standing on the stern (at the back of the boat)looking down at the wake, or the trail of water left behind by the moving boat. That wake symbolizes our past.  Then we are to ask ourselves three important questions.

 

 

Question One: What is the wake?

 

The wake is simply a trail left behind by the boat.  In reference to our past, it is a trail left behind by our lives.  It is nothing more than something left behind.

 

Question Two: What is driving the boat?

 

What is driving the boat is the present moment energy being generated by the engine or the motor of the boat. In terms of our lives, what drives our boats is the present moment energy which is life coursing through our veins right here and right now.  That energy flow can be freed or restricted by  our thoughts, our beliefs, our feelings and our choices. It is also based on something much deeper that can not be seen, measured or described.  Presence drives the boat.

 

Question Three: Is it possible for the wake to drive the boat?

 

Think about it.  Can that trail of steam and water behind the boat  drive the boat?  No...it has no power over the movement of the boat.  It is just something left behind.  How then do we believe that  the trail of our lives, our past, can drive our boats in this present moment?  It can't, can it? 

 

Past is gone

 

Our past is gone...it is back there and is not the power that moves us forward.  Yet so many of us look to the past to explain and rationalize why we are not what we think we should be, why we are stuck and not moving in the right direction.  We blame our parents and what they did to us as children  for our addictions or for our relationship problems.  We blame a past injustice on our inability to make decisions based on trusting others.  We blame a past experience with illness on our inability to get better. When asked why we are or aren't going in the direction the boat is taking us, we point a finger to the wake and say, "That's why!"  How silly is that?

 

Many of us are stuck in our past because it offers a familiar comfort zone, an excuse for being where we are.  Yet in reality we are not stuck, are we?  We are limited only by our refusal to let go of old hurts. 

 

Close up the Wounds

 

I love how Wayne Dyer describes it in the video listed below.  He says that our truest nature responds when we are wounded by saying, "Close up the wound." And without our interference the body will respond.  A natural process of inflammation will lead to healing cells going to the wounded site, stopping the bleeding, cleaning it up and filling it in.  Skin edges will eventually come together and approximate.  The wound will heal because that is what our true nature wants.  It wants us to close up our wounds and move on.  When hurt emotionally or mentally, the same thing applies...our truest nature wants us to experience, feel and heal from those wounds so we can leave them behind like wakes as we move forward.

 

Yet many of us won't let it be, will we?  We will pick at our wounds until they become infected eventually filling us with poison as we  hold them up for others to see, "Look at poor, poor me!"  Of course, that sounds so dramatic and unfair when talking about repressed trauma pain but in a sense that is what we are doing. We may not only refuse to allow our wounds to heal by clinging to the past, but we may constantly be  tearing them open, keeping our present lives infected by them.

 

Drive your boat

 

The past does not move our boats forward but we may cause our boats to stall or go in the wrong direction when we are concentrating more on the wake then the present moment. We need to stop looking back.  We need to forgive and let go like the fragrant flower does so we can get the feel of the boat beneath us, right her and right now. 

 

Enjoy the ride as you casually look up ahead to what awaits.

 

All is well!

 

References

 

Wayne Dyer (n.d.) How to Manifest your Life Purpose by Dr. Wayne Dyer. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQZZiC1uelg

 

Allan Watts (n.d.) The Boat and the Wake, Allan Watts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oswx23Tz-_w

 

 

 

 



Great Rivers and Seas

The relation of the Tao to all the world is like that of the great rivers and seas to the streams from the valleys
-Lao Tzu



So we will go through the next eight lessons of the Tao. I had a hard time with some of these because of the military reference.  I also don't particularly care when Legge  tried to get his translation into some form of poetic verse he created, only because I fear some of the translation gets lost in his need to create a rhyme scheme. Anyway, bear with me

Chapter/Verse 25

 

There was something formless, changeless, timeless and nameless before Heaven and Earth was devised. (Not sure if he means man's concept of Heaven and Earth or actual Heaven Earth). This something is Great; the Creator of all things (the Mother). The Greatness of this thing flows through the Tao, then Heaven, then Earth, then Kings/Sages, passing on its greatness. Man follows the laws of Earth; Earth follows the laws of Heaven; Heaven follows the laws of the Tao; and the Tao is simply the way it is.

 

 

Chapter 26

 

Gravity is the root of lightness; stillness the ruler of movement.

 

Need a balance between gravity (heaviness) and lightness; between stillness and movement (action).

 

Contrast, which is the opposite ends of the same poles determine and make each other. Regardless of how much he marches all day, a 'wise prince' will stay close to what he already has (baggage wagons) in stead of venturing out and away to seek more no matter how distracting and inviting those things might be.  A question arises: How should a Lord who has much carry himself lightly before his kingdom? If he does act lightly ( too carefree with little action) he might lose his root or hold on the kingdom.  If he acts too much and does too much to assert his rule, he could lose his throne.

 

 

Chapter 27

 

This verse speaks to the need to leave no traces of one's skill or expertise behind...to leave it a mystery.

 

A skillful traveller leaves no tracks behind; a skillful speaks leaves no offensive words behind; a skillful leaves no bolts or bars behind; a skillful binder leaves no strings or knots.  even though what they are able to accomplish is skillful and effective...they leave no signs of what they do behind.

 

A wise sage also leaves no man unsaved.  This is called "hiding the light of his procedure."

 

The man of skill is a master to be honored and revered by those who do not have the skill and those who do not possess the skill are helpers to those who do. It is a must for the servant to honor his master and for the master to rejoice in his servant. The skilled man performs his skill and the servant does not know how but observes in reverence and amazement.  This is called the 'The utmost degree of mystery."

 

 

Chapter 28

 

 

Speaks a little to yin and yang ; maturity and youth; recognition and obscurity; knowledge and innocence etc

 

 

A wise man seeks humility, innocence, and obscurity over praise, recognition and vanity. A strong man who recognizes his strength also maintains his feminine gentleness knowing that all drains flow to one channel in the end ( the Tao?) .  A wise man who follows the Tao will maintain both  his excellence and his child like innocence.

 

Seeking humility and obscurity rather than being the center of attention ( seeking to wear black instead of attractive white); he who though he knows the light of glory will prefer disgrace because of its obscurity will maintain an innocence that will lead men to him.  He will then lead even the greatest military leaders in a peaceful non violent way.





 

 

Chapter 29

 

Doing and grasping will not get one the 'Kingdom' for himself.  This 'Kingdom' sought is spiritual and cannot be got by active doing.  He who tries to win it will destroy it and he who tries to grasp it will lose it.

 

The course and nature of things is cyclical.  What was once in front will be behind, what once warmed will freeze, what once was strength comes from weakness and this is seen when what we gain spoils as it will.

 

That is why the wise puts away excessive effort, extravagance and indulgence.

 

 

Chapter 30

 

One with the Tao will not use violence and force to assert his mastery.  If he does he will suffer from the karmic effects of doing so. There will always be obstacles, barriers and bad years for great armies. 

 

A skillful commander will only attack out of necessity and never to assert ego's mastery.  He will strike one blow and then stop.  He will be on guard against arrogance and vanity once he does. He will not be boastful of his attacks.

 

When things mature they become old and not being of the way of Tao they will eventually die.

 

 

Chapter 31

 

Arms (weapons and instruments of destruction) though appearing beautiful to sum are evil and potentially hurtful to all creatures.

 

A superior man considers his left side the most honorable place for an inferior to stand. But in times of war it will be the right.  The left side is the feminine , gentle and peaceful side honored in celebrations.  The right side is the side that is strong and will attack when need arises.  It is also the side that mourns the loss of life taken by it. It is calm and peace that the wise man honors and victory by force what he detests ( he does not delight in the slaughter of men). Commanders, who have killed many, will be reserved the right side to stand next to their wise king so they can rightfully grieve the lives they took.  They should not celebrate those wins.

 

 

Chapter 32

 

The changeless Tao has no name.  It is small and primordial because it is simple yet it is powerful. If a leader would hold it, all would follow him.

 

The Tao unites Heaven and Earth and this sends down the 'sweet dew' which falls on all men equally.

 

As son as it proceeds to action It has a name and men can then rest in it to be free from all risk of failure and error.  They will find Truth.

 

The relation of the Tao to all the world is likened to how all the great rivers and seas flow into the tiny valley streams.  Man, I believe, are the tiny streams that get fed by the great waters of the Tao.

 

 

Key things learned form these eight Tao Verses/Chapters:

 

• The Tao is changeless, formless, timeless, and nameless and came before Heaven and Earth.
• It is that spaciousness, that emptiness, that Absolute Beingness, the "I am" ness other scriptures talk about
• It is the Creator of all things
• It is Great
• It flows through all things...through Heaven, then Earth, then Kings and then men
• Man needs a balance between gravity and lightness and between stillness and action
• A wise man does not give away the mystery of what makes him skilled behind...he leaves no traces, he hides the light of his procedure
• A servant honors his master and his master rejoices in his servant
• A wise man who follows the Tao with a sincere desire for humility  will maintain both his excellence and his innocence
• His humility and his child like innocence will lead others to follow him
• He can lead even the greatest armies in a peaceful way
• One can not attain the spiritual "Kingdom" through doing and grasping
• Violence is to be avoided as much as possible and only used when absolutely necessary
• Arms are evil and potentially damaging to all creatures
• If a man must kill in battle he must mourn and grieve over the lives he took...he should not celebrate his victory
• A leader who follows the way will have followers
• The Tao  is simple but powerful
• It unites Heaven and Earth and by so doing nourishes all men equally
• We can rest in Its Truth once we give it a name so we can use it.
• The Tao can flow through us like the great waters of the large rivers and sea flow through the tiniest of streams.

All is well!

 

References

 

Legge, James...Translator (1891) .  Lao Tzu's Tao Te Ching. https://www.sacred-texts.com/tao/taote.htm



 



 



An Important Part of Practice

If one knows how to bring the teachings into one's own thought, all physical and verbal deeds can be made to accord with practice. If one does not know how to bring them into one's own thought, even though one might meditate, recite scriptures, or spend life in temples [or synagogues or churches], it will not help: thought is therefore important to practice.
-Dalai Lama

Can you bring your spiritual or life teachings into your own thought as a part of your practice, whatever that may be?

I practice peace...that is my mission in my life: to live in a state of peace.  Is peace always in my thoughts?  Nah.  I mean it is in me but I am not always connected to it because the veil between me and it, which is thought, is not always absorbing peace. Get that?

We don't want to get lost in thought or stuck in thought but while we are learning we do use thought. It is an important part of our practice.  Eventually we will hopefully transcend thought but for now it is a tool for our learning and our teaching.  We want the teachings to be in our thought veil until we need the veil no longer.

Slips

Keeping that peace in my thoughts is not always easy.  I slip up royally sometimes and find myself jumping into these reactive behaviours dominated by ego. I can consciously separate my life circumstances from my Life; I can find peace in the most trying of times and I can stay aware of what "I" am doing but... sometimes my verbal and physical deeds are not in accord with practice.

Example

After a few days away dealing with fairly big crisis' in which I staid peaceful and calm I came home last evening and slipped big time.  I was exhausted ( rationalizing I know but feel I have to lol).  I had not slept more than a couple hours a night since Tuesday night.  On top of the situation we were dealing with, I had been having pelvic pain which wakes me up, wipes me out and makes me irritable ( when I am not just allowing it to be which I really couldn't because I had too many other bigger things to deal with). Anyway, after a hot bath and napping through a movie on the couch I was really, really looking forward to bed last night 

The dogs had other plans for me.

My oldest dog, who can barely walk most days,  ran off before lock up and I had to chase her around the block in my PJs for thirty minutes.  When I finally got her in, another who had apparently eaten a half bottle of coconut oil earlier that day while we were still away, got sick all over my living room couch...(She is a large dog with a large stomach.  It went everywhere...in between the creases, the cushions, the backing, the springs.  Ugh!!! It pretty well ruined the couch. ) This is what my tired body and mind had to deal with when all it wanted was sleep.

All peace slipped from my thoughts and I went right into emotional reactivity as I began to clean up the mess.

Reacting instead of Practicing

I could hear myself saying, "OMG!  Are you kidding me?  All I want to do is sleep and now I have to deal with this!!!" Poor Don...he came out to help but it didn't go over very well. I was fit to be tied ( Dear partner: if your other half is sleepless, menopausal and in height of reactivity during such a situation...put the cloth down, back away  and just say, "Yes dear...I will be here if you need me." ...Don't walk completely away...no...no... that would not be good for you...let her see you so she can tell you what to do if she needs to.:) )

Anyway, for a few minutes I was whiny and loud and full of resistance for the present moment.  I was probably pretty scary.  All because  I was not carrying peace in to my thought stream.  I was forgetting my practice.  Sigh!!!! I slipped again.

Oh well, my healing, my recovery begins today then.  It is all good. 

All is well in my world.

To have peace, teach peace to learn it.
-ACIM-T-Ch 6 5B

Ahhh! Felt the need to write that to explain to myself and others why I continue to do what I do here. I made a conscious decision to seek peace above all else and in order to have it I teach it so I can learn it.

As the first lesson from the Holy Spirit teaches according to ACIM, if we want to have [anything including peace] we need to give all to all (5A).  So if we want to have peace, we give it away in anyway we can. If we want to learn what peace is, we teach it.  I am no expert...just teaching because I want to learn...the more I teach the more I am learning and the more I am learning the more I teach. Sigh...all I am saying is ...you are stuck with me lol.

Been away from home dealing with a set back in the health of a loved one who recently had open heart surgery.  Sigh... Life is really laying it on thick and that is okay. It is what it is. Peace is still here to be given away,  to be learned and  to be received.

All good.

ACIM. Text. Chapter 6 Foundations for Inner Peace. Mill Valley

Separate the "isness' from the mind

It is important to differentiate between external circumstances and inner commentary about those circumstance.  We need to separate the 'isness' from the mind.
-Eckhart Tolle (The Never Ending Present Moment)

Before I begin, I want to make it clear that when I speak about challenges here, I am not speaking about challenges like  the devastating loss members of this community have experienced  a few days ago.  It is not my place to comment on that type of intense trauma...a pain I can't even imagine.  I am simply talking about the challenges many of us face day to day: problems at work to a loss of a job, issues with house  maintenance or renovation to the loss of a house in a fire, problems relating to a  break-up or divorce , money troubles to a complete loss of income etc.  I am speaking about the challenges that we all face in varied forms and degrees.

Another  Need for Separation

I think it is important to once again use separation to make the distinction between the life circumstances we encounter and what we tend to say about them in our minds or to other people. 

An Example

So let's just say, for example, you run into some money troubles.  You suddenly realize that you owe more than you can pay. Automatically most of us  jump right to the 'reaction', don't we?  We find ourselves sweating, feeling a bit sick to the stomach as we clench our jaws and run to the phone to tell someone about the 'terrible thing' that showed up in our lives.  Right? 

If we slow it down and rewind the tape, we will see that the reaction was preceded by a fear based feeling of anxiety, stress, overwhelm, or panic.  That feeling was preceded by a deeply entrenched or conditioned belief system.  "If I do not have enough money, "I" (this person I identify as) will not survive physically, psychologically or socially." That belief was probably triggered by a conscious thought: "Oh no.  This can't be happening.  This 'should' not be. Why is this happening to 'me'?" And that thought stream was probably preceded by the life circumstance presenting itself to your conscious awareness in a given moment. This all happens so fast we are not even aware of any distinctions or separations.  We are lost in the reactivity.

Making the separation

We can, however, make a separation between what is happening and how we are reacting to it. So we have external circumstances, the 'isness' of a present moment .  In this case we have the realization that we owe more money than we presently have.  That in itself is not pleasant but it simply is what it is in this moment.  It in itself can not break us or make us.  It is just a realization about an external event.

Then we have the mind's reaction to it.  The thoughts begin to circulate in our heads with ego's encouragement very quickly.  Ego was probably waiting in the background, rubbing its grubby little hands together, for such an opportunity. The thoughts in the conscious mind come in and they are full of resistance.  "This can't be; this shouldn't be." We resist because the core belief in the subconscious mind is that a loss of money, a big debt, will be detrimental to who we believe we are.  It will destroy the 'me' we think we are. This creates an emotional reaction of fear.  Our behavioural response is then to avoid the nasty feeling, avoid experiencing what is, as well as the moment.  So we run away from it and get lost in the "concepts", the "drama", the 'story' and the "sharing of the tragedy" to further feed ego. This is where the suffering is.  It has very little to do with the actual external event but mostly the mind's reactive commentary.

So what do we do?

We separate the life event, the external circumstance from what the mind says about it.  In order to do that we can do several things:

•  We begin by practicing staying alert and aware of what is happening both around us and in the mind. The more connected to presence we are, the more likely we can do this with ease.  We do our best to stay connected to the deeper dimension, our inner spaciousness, the backgrounds of our lives (see April 18th's entry). We are given opportunity to  practice this connection all the time and not just in the easy situations or while we are immersed in a spiritual comfort zone. We are given many opportunities to practice by Life,  in the face of challenge.  In the face of your challenges if you are present you do not convert the challenge into suffering, you just be with what it is. -Eckhart Tolle.
• We don't expect that we won't slip up because we will.  We will get lost in commentary and reactivity again and again but the trick is to become aware that we got lost. The ability to step out of a stream of thinking and rise above it, that is transcendence. -(Eckhart Tolle, 2019) We practice transcendence.
• If you  find your self stuck and having a hard time separating mind from 'isness', ask yourself: "Where is my life?"  Most of us will answer with more story but catch yourself doing that  and ask again, "where is my life?"  It is not in your mind, not in words or concepts...it is not in yesterday or in the future.  It is right here and right now.  And really how much challenge do you have right here and right now?

Separation can be helpful

So once again separating what is real from what isn't can prove helpful in our awakening.

All is well

References

Eckhart Tolle (2019) The Never Ending Present Moment. Retrieved from  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jn706KxF-6k

A Moment Listening

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-

that perches in the soul-

and sings the tune without the words-

And never stops at all-

-Emily Dickinson 254: https://www.lorenwebster.net/In_a_Dark_Time/2004/03/08/emily-dickinsons-hope-is-the-thing-with-feathers/

I hear robins outside...What a beautiful melody they sing...so full of hope and  promise.  It is also full  of gratitude for life and new beginnings.

Many of us won't hear that song today.  Some because we are so wrapped up in our busy work or our mental activity, ruminating over what we did this weekend that we shouldn't of or holding our breath and waiting for that something 'better' than this moment to show up in the future.  Some of us are too busy distracting or numbing, stuffing emotion deep down inside so ferociously we bury the spring music with it.  Some of us, many of us in this community, will still be wrapped in such dark heaviness and pain we cannot see or hear anything beyond it.

Sigh!  It is true...many of us won't hear the robins singing so beautifully, just for us, just for all.  We will not feel the sun and mild breezes on our faces, will not smell the tangy  earth waking up below our feet.  We will be anywhere but in this moment. We will be somewhere other than in this Life right here and right now.

If we could only just stop and listen we would see what is truly important and what isn't, wouldn't we?  We would feel...like the robins...alive and grateful, would we not?

For those of us distracting, numbing, too busy and too caught up in our monkey minds, what a wonderful reprieve a moment of listening would provide...an opportunity to wake up to what is really important would ensue. 

And for those in the depth of such heavy grief...maybe , just maybe, it would offer a little comforting lightness to the darkness that has suddenly descended upon their worlds.

I don't know.  I wish we could all hear this music of Life together and feel the light of Easter in our hearts...if only for a moment.

All is well in my world.

When Tragedy Strikes

No popularity exists when tragedy strikes. All that's left are human hearts and love and ache. We all love each other, deep down, and when we see another soul in pain we can't help but hurt too.
-Maya Van Weegan (Popular: Modern Wisdom for a Modern Greek: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/tragedy?page=3)

There has been a terrible tragedy in this small community last evening. 

The narrative of the story goes like this: four teens were killed in a motor vehicle accident.  The details are not important though that is automatically what people go searching for and then cling to in these situations as if  snippets of specific information will alleviate the great heaviness that has fallen over everyone who has heard the news, whether they knew the families of these individuals or not.  Truth is words, details, concepts do nothing to alleviate pain.

There has been sudden, unexpected and what would be deemed as 'inappropriate',  death, loss and grief x 4.  That is the information that is important.  It is tragic.  It is heavy like a great emotional weight that smothers and suffocates.  People (and not just the family and friends but all people in the community) are forced to face pain in its ultimate form smack dab on. It is too close to home to escape or ignore. We suddenly cannot close our eyes to the reality that Life, as we know it in these human forms, is fragile and unpredictable. That may shake us to the very core. It is also a truth, however, that could save us.

In the acceptance of  this grief,  this confusion and  this suffering we now have the potential to reach beyond our little 'me-ness' to others. We can wake up to the reality we have tried so hard to distract from and numb from; suffering exists. We can offer our compassion to those who need it most as well to the entire community that is suddenly off balance. We can put away our differences to empathize and support. We can remember how much we do love each other.

We can also, because of our pain, reach beyond the clouds of confusion to faith and to a truth that is not dependent on the fragility of human forms or the unpredictability of life circumstance.  Maybe, just maybe, we can find some peace and strength in that. 

That is what I pray for, for the parents, families and friends of these individuals who have gone on so suddenly and unexpectedly. I do not pray that they not feel pain...I know they will but  I do pray that throughout it all ...a stream of light more powerful than grief and confusion shines through and that it offers at least  an inkling of comfort here and there. I also pray that someday...they, and all of us, will be  able to follow that light to the healing that is waiting for all of mankind.

Peace to all on this Easter Sunday.

Easter Light and Pussy willows

We ask that streams of  Easter light might flow into the intimacy and the privacy of our hearts this morning, to heal us and encourage us and enable us to make again a new beginning.
-John O'Donohaue, Walking in Wonder  https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/60588613-walking-in-wonder-eternal-wisdom-for-a-modern-world

Easter weekend and here is hoping everyone has a blessed  day remembering and embracing the Light of new beginnings.

Two things symbolize Easter and the arrival of spring for me: Light and pussy willows. 

Experimenting with the camera in capturing this  light...bear with me, you might see a lot of these candles my daughter made for me in the next little bit. :)