A Little More on the Foreground and Back Ground of Life

The absence of suffering is happiness, just as the absence of darkness is light.
-Thich Nhat Hanh (peace is every breath, page 97)

I have been thinking a little more on making the distinction between the foreground and back ground of our lives.  We make this distinction only so we learn...eventually there will be no need to separate anything.

This is what I came up with.  I hope it helps.

Foreground of Life

Background of Life

·     Secondary  dimension, horizontal dimension , doing dimension where  Ego dominates: ·         See Self as Our personalities; Our bodies; Our minds: ·         Dream State ·         All that is visible ·         Shallow and superficial ·         Dense, consisting of form ·         Lower consciousness ·         Dependent on the five sense for determination of what is real ·         limited ·         noisy and chaotic ·         temporary and constantly changing ·         can be reduced to and described with mental concepts and words ·         Fear rules here ·         Dangerous and unsafe ·         Dependent on concepts like past and future ·         at the mercy of circumstance ·         a sense of separation with borders and body lines ·         “I”…”me” “my” and “mine” ·         Reactions occur from this place ·         Promotes Contraction and retraction ·         Illusion can be found here ·         Birth and Death can be found here ·         Suffering or dukkha ·         Darkness

·       Primary  dimension ('e'),  vertical dimension, being dimension where Spirit, soul, Purusa, Buddha-Nature ( call it what you wil) dominates ·         See Self as so much more ·         Awakened state ·         All that cannot be seen…Invisible ·         Of great infinite depth ·         Empty, formless, spacious ·         Higher consciousness ·         Sees reality beyond the five senses ·           ·         Limitless ·         Quiet and still ·         Eternal and changeless ·         Nameless and beyond understanding with thought ·         Love rules here ·         Peaceful and calm ·         Dependent on the present moment, the only place it can exist…timeless ·         Beyond circumstance ·         No borders, no body lines…just One Union one whole ·         “All” ·         Response occurs from this place ·         Promotes Expansion ·         Truth can be found here ·         Life can be found here ·         Beyond suffering or dukkha ·         Light

 

Hmm! Which column would you rather be spending most of your time in? Something to think about maybe?

All is well.

 

As soon as we light up the lamp of right mindfulness, wrong mindfulness retreats.

                                     -Thich Nhat Hanh (peace is every breath, page 65)

A Little More on Learning from confrontation

I will practice right diligence to nourish my capacity for understanding, love, joy, and inclusiveness, and gradually transform anger, violence, and fear that lie deep in my consciousness.
- Thich Nhat Hanh (from peace is every breath pg 145)

Oops!

Okay I owe someone an apology somewhere.  :) I have been rationalizing my angry confrontation over and over in my head, trying to use the Dalai Lama's words to soothe my conscience with.  Truth is...I slipped and I own that slip. 

A Pure Motivation?

Yes, confrontation involving harsh words and strong action is sometimes called for if the motivation is pure. My motivation, other than my maternal need to protect my daughter, really wasn't pure.  I went into that confrontation this afternoon...ego first not presence first. I went into that confrontation in reaction mode, not response mode.  I went into that confrontation to protect the rights of an ego that always wants to be right...not the rights of Self. I went in hot headed, not calm and peaceful. I went in talking with anger and self righteousness, not listening with patience and compassion.

I may have been  50 % unconscious and 50 % conscious :)  which is not so, so bad I suppose. ...but still I want to do better.

Wanting to do better in My Practice

I want to do better.  I want to remain kind no matter what is happening to me or around me, no matter what others may be saying or doing...I want to remain kind.  I wasn't all together kind  today.

I won't beat myself up.  I see this experience as another learning challenge...All our relating situations  with others offer the best opportunities to practice, do they not? I see room for improvement in my practice and that is a wonderful, wonderful thing.  If I see it I can make room for a better me.  I want to be a better me ( 'me', meaning Self , in this situation).

What Can I do differently next time?

• Take time to cool down before jumping into a situation.  Ego runs head first into confrontation because it loves the Drama.  The presence in the background does nothing but calmly watches. 
• Connect with that presence before confronting.  I could have taken a few moments this afternoon to connect with that observing presence before calling.  I could have taken more than a breath....I could have done a full out breath awareness meditation. I could have calmed and soothed the body....before I confronted.  I just allowed ego to take over and that is seldom good.  :)
• Eliminate some of the emotional and mental story around the situation. I used past experiences with others, my own fear of loss and scarcity consciousness to create a story around this situation that was not necessarily based on truth. I need to take the time, to remove present moment truth from story and from past in these situations. Again that could have been done with a little time and space
• Remind self there is always two sides to perception.  When ego is in charge it is all about 'me' isn't it, not about the other person.  We use our own perspectives as weapons in an attempt to prove how right we are. 
• I could have actually closed my mouth to hear what the other individuals were saying.  I was so intent on being heard, I was not listening.
• I could be kinder...making kindness my priority over being right. I could let go of my need to be right.  Man, that is hard for the ego to do, isn't it?
• Remind myself and others that what we really want is peace.

I am grateful for the learning and offer a silent thought of apology and forgiveness for all involved ( including myself).

All is well.

Harsh Words and Strong Action

In actual life, you sometimes have to speak some harsh words or take strong action in order to protect or benefit the family-here the key point is motivation. The same action, or even a tougher action, accomplished with a sincere and good motivation, is sincere and good.
-Dalai Lama

I read these words this morning and thought to myself , "Oh that really doesn't apply to my circumstances right now." I went on my way and forgot about them. Then about twenty minutes ago I found myself slinking back to my desk needing so desperately to hear those words again.

Harsh words

You see... I took harsh words and strong action this afternoon against that company I thought was "ripping me off".  I perceived that they provided a misleading service ...asked for money up front without providing any receipt or written invoice of our purchase cost break down.  (My daughter who is absolutely loving and trusting of all things in life-what a wonderful way to be- was the one who sought the service on my behalf).  They  quoted the cost as one thing, asked for both the payment and  deposit upfront and she left believing we would likely get a refund.  When she came home that day without any written documentation of pricing and worse no receipt the hairs, I will admit, stood up a little bit on the back of my neck. I told myself to breathe and not to let ego suspicion emerge too fully.

Strong Action

But the hairs never came down completely. Today my daughter was informed by that company that not only do we not get a refund, but that we owed them. I got angry.  I felt cheated.  So I took a deep breath went to the phone and called the individual my daughter had been dealing with  myself.  I told her  that I felt upset because we were told a price and were expecting a refund but did not think it was fair for us to have to pay.  I got round about stories about what we were being charged with  and why... none of it clear.

I would have none of it.  I was  intent on being assertive and direct about the mistake the company had made . In response, the individual (doing what most egos would do in those situations wanting "the heat' off themselves) pointed a finger at my daughter, saying that she probably didn't understand the explanations. I felt myself getting more and more lost in the anger at that point, becoming a little more than assertive.  I was speaking "harshly" and threatening "stronger action". I was operating from emotion.

Trying to  See the Person underneath the anger

I kept  bringing myself back though...Catching myself in the height of emotion, calming down to some degree enough  to say to the individual that I was not doubting her or judging her as a person ...but was very frustrated with the way the business was dealt with and the consequences of it. Still...the anger and self righteousness would not go away.   I could not let them pin this on my girl.  "If the explanations were so hard to understand", I countered, "why wasn't written documentation provided in an invoice form detailing the cost breakdown?  Isn't that what most business' would do? Why was she not given a receipt?"

The individual defended herself by saying, "I would have given her one if she asked."

I suggested with a hint of superiority and an air of  higher knowledge, "Should that not be protocol?"

I asked to speak to the manager  but the individual truly wanted to explain the situation first.  I allowed her to, assuring her it was not my intention to dump my negativity and judgment on her. (I was conscious enough to do that lol). She agreed to send me a cost breakdown. I still was not ready to give up my ego need to prove how right I was and therefore how wrong they were.

Consequences

Eventually, I spoke to the manager. She was obviously already informed of my complaint and was on the defensive,  not very customer friendly during our conversation.  I reiterated what I told her employee and she was quite defensively, explaining that everything was explained and once again pointed a finger at my daughter's lack of comprehension. I got very angry then. I stressed the difference between what we were told and what we were charged and once again suggested, as if I was in a position to do so, a better business approach for future customers: receipts and written instruction on their charges. I also requested a full documented breakdown of our specific charges which I have yet to receive.  (I had incorrectly assumed that would have already been done for their own business records and could have been forwarded stat to a disgruntled customer ???)  I did inform the manger that I could take this further but decided it was not worth the effort (I was thinking of the cost to my peace and the hassle to my body and mind that would cause). Instead, I informed her I would never do business there again and if I speak to anyone about this service I will be honest and direct about my experience which will reflect very negatively on them. She assured me she would send the cost breakdown out right away. And that was it.

Cost to Peace?

Hmmm!  Did I do the 'right' thing if my true goal these days is to maintain a certain level of peace?

I did feel it was important that I stood up to this business which unfortunately meant confronting individuals who were employed there.  I wasn't kind throughout the conversation, far from it. (Which I regret).  And I wasn't all together calm.  I felt anxious and ready to attack. My ticker had a bit of a work out, let me tell ya. I slipped into and out of unconsciousness throughout the process.  I really didn't want to hurt anyone but I would not let my daughter or myself be treated unfairly either.

Still I felt guilty for slipping away from presence ( and at the same time I am not actually sure that I did completely...I was aware of behaviour throughout and kept pulling myself back...hmmm?)

Well some of you might say, Well you still got ripped off crazy lady. To which I would respond , Maybe. But I am okay with it. I expressed my truth  and my anger. I refused to pay the extra and I will let sleeping dogs lie.

Well  are you just  going to let them win?

There is no winners or losers in this.  What have I lost?  A few dollars of a refund?  What have they gained? Absolutely nothing of value. In their minds, they may have lost peace, money and business as well. 

What a wonderful learning challenge. Egos might feel as if they won or they lost but what matters is recognizing who we really are beneath all that ego drama and choosing that over being right.  When it is all said and done....I choose peace.


Confrontations can come at a cost to our peace.  Does that mean we should avoid them?

No.  I like the Dalai Lama's words. Sometimes we need to stand up and utter a few harsh words or be prepared for stronger action. Sure the individuals we deal with are valuable and are deserving of our respect. But we are valuable too. Sometimes a little assertiveness in the protection of our rights can remind us of that value. 

Of course, we need to practice asserting self with as little emotion as possible. We need to work on developing a kind and calm approach in such matters.  That isn't always easy, as this lesson taught me. Sigh....

All is well in my world.

A Pleasant Atmosphere

Whenever there lives a compassionate person, there is always a pleasant atmosphere.
-Dalai Lama

 

 

 

 

I have been blessed with children who show compassion for all living things.  It creates such a pleasant atmosphere in my home. Needless to say...we have had many creatures within these walls over the years.  So grateful.

 

All is well.

'Separation' May Be Helpful

Eventually everyone begins to recognize, however dimly, that there must be a better way.
-ACIM-T-Chapter 2:III:3:6

There were 22 days to that meditation series.  I was surprised to see that extra opportunity to meditate on Gratitude and Grace  this morning but very grateful. (Grateful for Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey providing this free meditation series to the world) Today's meditation  once again exemplified what we spoke about yesterday...the idea of seeing Self in the other...of seeing Self as whole and not separated by body lines. 

As a student of A Course,  it became quickly obvious that one of its main teachings was echoed by Deepak Chopra & Oprah Winfrey today: Separation is an illusion.  I am whole and complete. 

 It has taken me a long time to fully realize that truth and I cannot say that I have completely mastered the 'lotus flower' lesson but it is sinking in more and more.  I am getting there.

Sometimes  'Separation' may be helpful on our paths to awakening.

There is an instance, perhaps, where playing with the idea of 'separation' may be somewhat helpful in our understanding of who we really are.  When we can loosely separate the little 'me' with its egoic  personality, its body  and its  mind from the true Self, the soul,  the Seer that  is hidden beneath the layers of obvious, we may begin to understand more clearly who we truly are. 

Most of us operate unconsciously lost in the drama of 'little me' and are anything but present or aware. When we can make the distinction between the two, however,  and then witness who is apparently in charge of our moment we can escape  from a state of unconsciousness back into conscious awareness.  We can  become aware once again of this separation between Self that is the background and the 'person' we have wrongly identified  as for most of our lives that is the foreground. This is the basis of presence according to teachers like Eckhart Tolle.

Say what crazy lady?

Separate the True Self from the "little me"


We need to separate the "little me" that makes up most of our Life foreground from the true Self that is always present in the background. We do that when we allow that true Self to witness and observe what that little crazy monkey minded person is thinking, feeling and  doing in the foreground.

The Reaction


I will give an example.  Today I found myself becoming suspicious of the intentions of certain companies and individuals who were providing a paid service for me.  I actually thought that they may rip me off.  I found myself physically contracted in my vigilance, my stomach and face burning, muscles tense and the words coming out of my mouth were anything but kind.  I was retracting, closing off, clinging to the 'little I had' and ready to defend and attack.  Not pleasant. 

 This reaction this 'person' was having was based on a thought.  The thought was based on a belief that was triggered by a certain amount of stress and fatigue as well a mistrust and fear of less than that this 'little me' has been operating under. The belief was, "Bad things will continue to happen to 'me'.  I do not have enough but I am always expected to pay more. Financial destitution is 'my' destiny. People have been unjust and unfair to 'me' before...they will continue to be so."   For a moment I was absorbed and lost in that reaction that involved a separate 'little me" against a dangerous "them". Yuck!  What a belief to cling to. What a behavioral response to fill my moment with. I was lost in the 'little me'...I was unconscious.

Separating Foreground from Background and Waking Up

In the midst of it, I suddenly witnessed myself behaving this way and very quickly I observed the situation and reaction from a higher place. I could 'see' what I was doing. In order to do that I had to have separated the drama of my person from the calm presence of my Self.  It was Self that was seeing. Self was witnessing what the ego was doing from the background. 

As soon as I realized that something higher, more conscious and more present was witnessing my experience from the background, I woke up and the reaction fell away...In fact "little me" fell away. Everything suddenly felt okay as it was. I was back in the moment aware of what was going on in me and around me right then and right there. There was no need to be suspicious, to defend and or attack in that moment.  There was nothing of value to cling to in that moment. There was no lack or no less than in that moment.  Past experiences were just memories and stories, in that moment.
There was no "them" in that moment...

There was just thoughts, feelings, circumstances coming and going.  The other people who I had perceived as separate and enemies  were just other representations of Self that may or may not have been lost in their own egoic minds.  Everything felt complete and whole from the perspective of this Self. I heard myself reciting, "It is what it is and it will be what it will be." And I felt peace.

In this case then, separating the person we have come to believe we are from the Self we truly are is beneficial. We need to see the two beings operating within us if we truly want to wake up.  Once we wake up fully there will be no need for "little me" and separation.  We will truly operate from one  state of complete wholeness then.

But for now a little separating is okay.

All is well in my world.

References

ACIM Text

Deepak Chopra & Oprah Winfrey (n.d.) Manifesting Grace through Gratitude. Chopra Center

Eckhart Tolle (2019) Do we bring about our own suffering? Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEH_3GyfIag

Namaste

When your chest is free of your limiting ego,

Then you will see the ageless Beloved.

You cannot see yourself without a mirror;

Look at the beloved, He is the brightest mirror.

- rumi

 

I completed the 21 day meditation challenge provided by Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey today and I am a little sad that it is over.  It has seen me through a very challenging month.  I never missed a day despite the fact that I had to deal with some pretty major life crisis' : more or less 'forced' into an early retirement (nasty word-'forced'-and I am not implying that anyone or anything outside of me pushed me into this decision), had loved ones hurting themselves because of their sense of suffering to the point of near death, emergency open heart surgery in a family member that meant going away for weeks at a time to be by his side, walking smack dab into  the consequences of addiction, and serious mental illness in close loved ones...not to mention the usual stuff: finances, a house I can't keep up, health issues that were a little worrisome and frustrating to deal with  etc etc.  Still I found time...in fact I craved and honored that time ...to sit and listen to some wise individuals speak of grace and gratitude. Those twenty moments each morning were the highlight of my day...my saving grace.  :)

 

 

Today's session was about being able to see through the eyes of the soul. When we do that we see light everywhere, most importantly we see that light in everyone.  That light we see is the same light that is in us. It is the light of the 'ageless Beloved' we see when we look into the eyes of the people in front of us. We are a part of that light so we actually see ourselves.

 

 

I am a student and teacher of yoga so 'Namaste' is a Sanskrit greeting I recite often. If you take yoga classes or have been fortunate enough to visit Northern India, you too have heard it used quite often.  But what does it actually mean?

 

Namaste, loosely translated from Sanskrit means " The divine in me bows to/sees/honors  the the divine in you."  It echoes what Rumi and the 21st meditation in this series speaks to.

 

 

Namaste!

 

References

 

Deepak Chopra & Oprah Winfrey (n.d.) Manifesting Grace Through Gratitude.  Chopra Center

 

Wendy Moore (n.d.) Why do you say Namaste? Do You Yoga.  Retrieved from https://www.doyouyoga.com/why-do-you-say-namaste/

 

Rumi (n.d.) Untitled .  Retrieved from Safo Archon's 7 Mystical Love Poems by Rumi https://theunboundedspirit.com/7-mystical-love-poems-by-rumi/

 

 



 



Connecting Dots of Belief

There was something undefined and complete, coming into existence before Heaven and Earth.  How still it was and formless, standing alone, and undergoing no change, reaching everywhere and in no danger (of being exhausted)! It may be regarded as the Mother of all things.
Lao Tzu (Chapter/Verse 25 Taoe Te Ching as translated by James Legge)


Connecting the Tao with other Religious Beliefs

Hmm! I read that last night before going to bed and it seemed to apply to our idea of foreground and background of existence.  Heaven and Earth, as we know them or believe them to be, are the foreground of this still, formless, solitary, changeless, infinite and fearless background. They are things on the canvas of what Buddhists refer to as emptiness.  All else is 'created' from this space

We may name this background, this "Great Being" God or the Creator, but Lao Tzu states he did not know Its name  so he just called it the Tao or the Way. 

Is it not the same? In many religious beliefs... God is the way, right...the direction to follow? God is also "Great"...meaning the higher power? In the order of supremacy described by Lao Tzu in this chapter ...we have man...than kings or sages...followed by Earth...then Heaven and finally the Tao...the highest power...  "The Great". Is that not the hierarchy  most western religious beliefs are built on?

Man takes his law from the Earth; the Earth takes its law from Heaven; Heaven takes its law from the Tao. The law of the Tao is its being what it is. (Lao Tzu)

We get back to the profound rule of accepting "it is what it is" because God is "I am Who I am"(Exodus 3:14, ESV). 

We, as mentally dominated creatures, go around naming things that maybe we are not meant to name. We reduce the "Greatness" of what simply is... to concepts we separate and protect from other concepts but ....could the truth behind labels  be universal?

Hmmm! That is what came to my mind as I read this...but what do I know, lol?

All is well!

References


Exodus 3:14, Holy Bible, English Standard Version

Lao Tzu  as translated by James Legge (1891) Tao Te Ching. Retrieved from https://www.sacred-texts.com/tao/taote.htm

An Arrogance Free Check List?

How much am I doing about my anger? About my attachment, about my hatred, about my pride, my jealousy? These are the things which we must check in daily life.
-Dalai Lama


The Beingness Checklist

As we put away our To Do lists for To Be lists, we begin using a different type of check list.  We begin monitoring, not what we accomplished or achieved of material world value, but what we have achieved of spiritual or internal value.  Of course it doesn't have to be an actual  list that we use to monitor our spiritual growth at the end of each day. I use that as a metaphor...a pointing finger only.

As I reflect on my beingness at the end of some days,  I happily discover  I did quite well with lots of mental check marks to show for it; other days, I struggle.    I still get stuck on anger and attachment quite often...especially when I am this tired! I am discovering that sleep deprivation does not help to add check marks to these lists.

Last night I felt the maternal-ego need to do an intervention at 2-4 in the am. (Tip for future reference-not a good time to do so lol). I was hot flashing and miserable as I approached the two lovely but somewhat lost individuals involved and I let them have it.  I was able to catch myself while I was well into my 'unconscious reaction' and brought myself back to that state of compassion and peace I want to 'respond' from but anger and attachment did get the best of me.  Sigh!


Learning from A Course

I am taken back to Lesson 186 in A Course in Miracles: Salvation of the world depends on me. If I truly want to do what I am here to do, I need to put away my anger, attachment, hatred, pride and jealousy.

These things take us from our function here and stop us from responding to others, circumstance, or Life in a way that will benefit all. They take us into busy doing, clinging, defending, pursuing, distracting, and seeking to attain an image of ourselves that we are not.  That is where the anger and attachment come from...our own arrogance

Arrogance makes an image of yourself that is not real. (ACIM-W-186:6:1)

Seeing Who We Are and Hearing What We Are To Do

Caught up in this image, we do not see what we and the people before us truly are.  We do not hear what we are really here for. Arrogance, in any of its forms, makes us deaf  to our purpose while humility sets us free.

Yet are the humble free to hear the Voice which tells them what they are and what to do. (ACIM-W-186:5:6)

It is when we forget to let God into our interventions...when we forget to connect to peace and presence... that the arrogant ego-mind takes over.  When we feel that we, as these limited little selves are the ones to solve the bigger problems in an external world way we become unconscious. 


It is not our job to fix others, circumstances or Life in the way arrogance leads us to believe.  It is our job to simply open up and let the true Self through so it can handle things in the way they were meant to be handled...with peace, compassion and love. We need  do nothing

The means are given us by which it will be perfectly accomplished. (ACIM-W-186:2:2)

I forgot my own prayer in my dealings with loved ones last night:

 

 

 

 

Use this ‘little me’ for the betterment of the world.

Let Me Be all that You intend Me to be

And let me pour that Self over all like a blanket

of compassionate love and healing

 

 

Oh well maybe next time I will do better and my check list will be something to be proud of.

All is well in my world.

References:

ACIM (2007) Workbook: A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume. Foundations for Inner Peace



 

Come to Your Senses and Then Go Beyond

There are only two ways to live your life; as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle.
-Albert Einstein

Coping

How do we cope with all this chaotic  surface phenomena that surrounds us, especially when it seems to be wearing down on us like a heavy weight?

Many people will choose to numb from it...take something, do something, own something, gain something or chase after something that will make it all better.  But what if you have journeyed far enough along this path to realize that none of those external  things will ever make it better?  What does one do then?

The answer, I am discovering, is in finding that connection to who we really are beneath these shallow, superficial egos which do anything but bring us peace. And it is peace we are seeking, whether we know it or not.

What lies beyond the ego?

Well if we are anywhere more than one or two steps on this path we are at least intellectually realizing that there is something very powerful and beautiful beneath our surface layers. There is more than 'this'.

There may be many names for that something or someone.  Some may call it Spirit or Soul.  Others may call it Atman or Buddha-nature. Some may refer to as presence or awareness.  Others our True Self or higher consciousness. I really don't care if you call it 'Fred'.

 I think it is really, really important not to get hung up on naming it.  Whatever we call it, based on whatever religious or cultural conditioning we have learn from...'It', whatever 'it' is,  offers the same potential experience for everyone. It offers the experience of Grace.

 

Why would we want to connect...to know... that 'something'?

When we live from that place, we will live a life of freedom from physical world attachment and illusion.  We will live with truth, love, faith and complete gratitude.  We will experience a peace that doesn't wax and wane as the world around us changes. We will see clearly.  We will know how to be present for each precious moment that arises.  When we do that...this idea of suffering that comes about because of our insistence on living in the mind will disappear.  We will indeed be free.

How do we get there?

The first step is to get out of our heads and away from our distracting busy work!!! We must learn to be rather than do...feel rather than to simply narrate our experiences. We need to live...rather than think about, describe, create and tell stories about living.

We can begin to do that by stilling ourselves every now and again...stilling our bodies and stilling our minds as much as possible. We can achieve stillness in two ways

1. Come to Your Senses

So many of us are so lost in what is going in our heads that we are not aware of the miraculous world around us. It is so important to begin with being  mindful of your environment. in this moment

Just stop and take a look around you.  Ask the questions: What am I seeing right now? And then, without words or labelling, just look about you.  What am I hearing right now?  Close your eyes and listen.  What am I feeling right now on the outside of my body? Be aware of any breeze, the feeling of your clothes next to your skin or how your butt feels on the chair.  What do I smell right now?  What scents is your olfactory center picking up?  And what can I taste?  Bite into that apple and truly taste what is there without any need to describe it with words...just feel it.

Then when you are aware of where you are take a deep breath.  Concentrate on that breath moving into your body and then out of your body.  Bring that busy mind to that reality of precious breath.

From there, what are your senses picking up about your inner body.  Can you feel the hum, the vibration of life in your hands even with your eyes closed?  Can you feel your heart beating?

If thoughts come in, as they are sure to do, just allow them, accept them...see them as passing clouds floating by.  Be aware of them without being them.

Come to your senses...come back to the awareness of what the body and mind are  experiencing.  Then know that the body and the mind  together create  just the shell you are in.  They are not you.

II. Go Beyond the Senses to the Higher Self


Now ask the questions: Who is seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting or smelling?  Who is perceiving with these  five senses?  Who is making sense of all this information?  Who is breathing?  What is this breath? Who is feeling what is going on inside my body?  Who is thinking these thoughts?  Who is really experiencing this Life?

Beyond your ego dominated and limiting perceptions; beyond this external world and its constant flux; beyond your body and mind...is who you really are.  It is nameless, eternal, and never changing.  It is still and silent.  It is present and real.  It graciously offers you the peace you long for.

Everything else is just an ever-changing foreground and  you, my friend, are the background that is the peace you are looking for.

All is well.

Deepak Chopra & Oprah Winfrey.(n.d.) Day 18: Manifesting Grace Through Gratitude.

Eckhart Tolle (2019) How Do I Step More Deeply Into Presence?  Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiavI90DP74

It is

True wisdom is being able to say 'it is what it is' with a smile of celebratory wonder on your face.
-Eric Micha'el Leventhal (from Oprah Winfrey's and Deepak Chopra's meditation series)

I have been up since four. :) My body doesn't like the night sweats and in those awakenings comes the thinking about all that has been going on around me. 

I was able to get through the last two months because others needed me. I was able to put aside, to some extent, my body's complaints and my own response/reactions to stress. I trudged forward.  I clung to every moment of relief like it was a precious vacation but they never lasted for long.  Things that needed to be dealt with kept calling me back from any fantasy of margarita sipping on the beach lol.  There really was no break from pressing circumstance and I am exhausted, absolutely exhausted from carrying this load.

I am aware of the distinction between life circumstance and Life. I am aware of the True Self beneath this little version of 'me'.  I am aware of the wisdom in the lovely mantra I have been repeating since yesterday Grace is perfect even when my life isn't.  I am so grateful for my Life...I really am...I look for reasons to be grateful and I find them. I am also very aware  there is a sun shining brilliantly behind this heavy cloud cover. 

But sigh...I just want to feel it.  I want  a break in the heaviness!  I want to see a good sized crack in that cloudy sky. I want sun on my face.  

I need something  to change so obviously for the better. I need relief. 

There seems to be so much suffering around me, brought to my attention almost every hour of everyday  and I don't know what to do with it. And it isn't like I am out there looking for it. I am not seeking it.  I am not  reading the news or getting lost in social media rampages.  In fact...I am doing my best to run and hide from it lol.  I am even isolating myself...Yet people are reaching me with their suffering. I feel it so intensely. I want to help.  I want to make change and do my part to solve the greater issues but I am not sure how.  So in my ignorant  helplessness, I simply offer my presence.  In the offering of that support and that presence that I so want to offer, I feel my bony little knees wobbling.  Why does it suddenly feel like so much?

Anyway...In the midst of insomnic fretting, I bring myself back to It is what it is...and I keep trudging forward with that in mind.  I want peace.  I am committed to that endeavor.  So I make peace with the cloud cover above my head.  I make peace with the moments of suffering and I tell myself it is all okay right here, right now just the way it is. And it is.  It is.

All is well in my world. I am going back to bed lol.

Getting Through the Clouds to Peace

The clouds that gather round the setting sun

Do take a sober colouring from an eye

That hath kept watch o'er man's mortality; - William Wordsworth: 536 Ode, Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood   In this beautiful poem by Wordsworth, an aging speaker looks about the natural world in awe and envy seeing so much power and beauty in the landscape.  Observation of nature  brings him to alert stillness and presence.  He also sees his human mortality in it and is reminded that he will be leaving this natural world soon.   The poem may seem like a depressing one but it ultimately is a poem of inspiration for life and for connection to who we really are.

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:

The Soul that rises with us, our life's Star,

Hath had elsewhere its setting,

And cometh from afar:

Not in entire forgetfulness,

And not in utter nakedness,

But trailing clouds of glory do we come

From God, who is our home: Wordsworth 536 Ode

Are we trailing Clouds of Glory?

Note: so sorry about these big blocks of off-colour that are distracting to the eye.  I will sometimes download passages onto a Microsoft page before putting them here in a cut and paste.  I bring the white background with me when I do that and attempt to change it with the closest to the page colour I can find.  (I guess that is somewhat appropriate in our recent discussions about foregrounds and backgrounds :))

I was drawn to this poem by a reminder  from Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey  in Day 16 of Manifesting through Grace that we came from trailing clouds of glory. The image of clouds came to my mind, reminding me that though the clouds may be in front of us and we may not be able to use our limited human vision to see beyond them, the sun is still there shining brilliantly upon the world and upon us. Wordsworth describes nature's knowing of this brilliantly.

We in human form, are limited and mortal but who we really are...like all things in nature are trailing clouds of glory that come from God. The true Self, we are reminded by Chopra and many eastern teachings, has no limits or boundaries. Though the world around us darkens our perceptions and leads us to believe we need to suffer... there remains a presence in the background that knows differently. Though we feel trapped and confined by these bodies, these personalities, these physical world limitations and our minds...we are free.

Getting Through the Clouds

We need to look at the clouds (our challenging life circumstances, our ego dominated personalities, our mental reactivity, our illnesses and our limitations) simply as the foreground of our life....not our Life.  Sure sometimes it all seems like a heavy cloud cover that prevents us from seeing or feeling the warmth of the sun behind it.

We can get lost and forget that its there...but that sun is still there, never going away, always available to us. The sun is the still, silent presence in the background of our Life.

Alienating from the Little Self

Who we think we are, is not who we really are.  Eckhart Tolle in Facing Challenges-The Transmission of Stillness, reminds us that we as 'persons' are just superficial movements of a much deeper and greater consciousness.  This person that uses "I", "me", and "mine"......is an ego dominated and fear based personality that may act as a dark cloud cover over who we truly are.

'Presence', the  trusting, fearless stillness exists beyond that cloud cover.  It is that presence that we come from, that presence whom we are and that presence we will return to when our bodies cease to be. We sometimes just forget that and get lost in doing, seeking, striving, competing, defending and attacking just to make sense of this reality (unreality) that exists on this side of the cloud cover.

As Wordsworth describes, nature is so present, so alive, so expansive but we as humans too often do not recognize that expansiveness in our selves. Our minds can hold us back from connecting to it.

Wanting Peace More than Anything Else

Tolle tells us that if we want to connect to presence we must be willing to give up the cloud cover, the false selves we identify with.  He calls this process of awakening  'self-alienation'.  In order to get there we need to put down our limiting fear based egos and choose instead peace.  We need to want peace more than anything else this limited 'person' in this physical world can provide.

ACIM in Lesson 185: I want the peace of God  teaches:

To say these words is nothing. To mean these words is everything.  If you could but mean them for just an instant, there would be no further sorrow possible for you in any form; in any place or time. (ACIM:W-185:1: 1-3)

To reach presence and find the peace of God that transcends all clouds, all suffering will require a willingness to let go of who you think you are.

To mean you want the peace of God is to renounce all dreams. (ACIM:W-185:5:1)

That presence is already in us...that peace of God is within us. Our suffering can end; clouds can part when we truly, truly want peace.
Who can remain unsatisfied who asks for what he  has already? (ACIM:W-185:11:3)

We just need to ask and really want what we are asking for.  We need a powerful determination to be present.

Breaking Through


"The chicken cannot come out of the shell without it first cracking" (Tolle, 2019)

We do not need to wait until we die to emerge from the limiting shells ego provides. .  We can make that determined commitment to break through those shells, those cloud covers, those limiting perceptions for the sake of peace now.  As soon as we meaningfully commit, the clouds will part so the sun can come through.

Sometimes, Life will step in and help us out with the process by removing a lot of the "me," and "mine" things from us.  Suffering and loss can be a great catalyst for change.  It may lead us to cry out, "crack already!!!"

Once we get fed up with our person-hood, we may finally commit to wanting peace and presence more than anything else. It is only then that we will be able to finally  transcend the  clouds of our existence for the sun.

God, stillness, presence, truth, love and awareness are waiting for us now.

Our noisy years seem moments in the being

Of the eternal Silence: truths that wake,

To perish never:

Which neither listlessness, nor mad endeavour,

Nor Man nor Boy,

Nor all that is at enmity with joy,

Can utterly abolish or destroy!     -William Wordsworth 536 Ode

All is well in my world.

References

ACIM (2007) Workbook: Lesson 185. Foundations for Inner Peace

Deepak Chopra & Oprah Winfrey. (n.d.) Manifesting Grace through Gratitude. Chopra Center

Eckhart Tolle (2019) Facing Challenges-The Transmission of Stillness. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wn-TfVr5h_U

William Wordsworth (n.d.) Ode 536: Intimations of  Immortality....Retrieved from https://www.bartleby.com/101/536.html

Of Basic Importance

There are many different philosophies, but what is of basic importance is compassion, love for others, concern for others' suffering, and reduction of selfishness.
-Dalai Lama

If you help others with sincere motivation and sincere concern, that will bring you more fortune, more friends, more smiles, and more success.  If you forget about others' rights and neglect others' welfare, ultimately you will be very lonely.
Dalai Lama

Success from the Inside First

Inner success is the inner experience of love, happiness, inner fulfillment and well-being -the experience of joy in your everyday life.
-Michael Neill


Unsuccessful?

I have been thinking about success lately and how some of us on the outside may appear unsuccessful.  We may be viewed as unsuccessful because of   our inability to make a certain income and live a certain life style; unsuccessful in our ability to gain and maintain a certain recognition or social status; unsuccessful because of unfruitful attempts to achieve some external reward like fame or notoriety for our dreams, gifts or talents; unsuccessful in our ability to gain /maintain certain titles and the right careers that go with those titles; unsuccessful in our ability to own things;  unsuccessful in our ability to raise kids and provide for them in the way society deems we should; unsuccessful in our ability to maintain relationships or a level of reputability that others approve of; unsuccessful in our ability to maintain a certain level of health or physical appearance that society deems is necessary for success and unsuccessful in our ability to be as good as or better than everyone else.  

My Lack of Success

I may be deemed unsuccessful in all or many of these categories. I presently have no income and the life style I once knew is no more. I am really not recognized at this point  if I ever was and my social status ...well let's just say no one out there on social media will be jealous of me, nor will they be  trying to compete lol. My dreams to be a successfully published  writer with a certain readership have yet to reach fruition.  I have had to give up the titles I earned and the careers associated with them despite the numerous years of education, training and experience put into them. I don't own much material stuff. I own little and lost lots.People might look at what is going in my family and judge my parenting as being the cause for it, therefore viewing me as an unsuccessful parent.  I have pulled away from most forms of relating in an attempt to heal and my "like" status (or lack of)  would likely  indicate a problem with me. Others may  see me as unsuccessful in both my physical and mental health, I am sure. And the aging process is definitely  pushing me away from the spectrum of physical desirability. In social terms I am probably deemed as being "less than" most.

Success is an Inside Job

Hmm!  How do I view all this lack of success in my life? My ego doesn't like it.  It is red-faced and almost apologetic to others for not keeping up.  It cowers and cringes  in the corner, not wanting to be seen. It believes I am not successful because  it still measures success by externals.

I, however, (I meaning this being that I am discovering beneath the ego) is okay with it, for it  has never measured success by what I was able to grab or cling to from the external world. To it, success was always an internal thing.

I find true success through inner fulfillment.Deepak Chopra/Oprah Winfrey...Day 13 of meditation series

So when I don't listen to "little me" or the egos of others, I know I am successful or at least I know what type of success I really want and need in my life...a success that does not wax wane as the worldly things do. I am getting more and more successful the more I wake up to what is really important.  What is really important is purely internal. It is what Grace, not ego provides and Grace is always providing.

What is the  difference between what Grace provides in terms of success and what ego provides?

Deepak Chopra tells us that we can tell the difference between ego's success and Grace's by how we feel.  If we find ourselves wanting more , grabbing and clinging in triumph to something we have achieved or received than that is ego success.  It will not last...we will eventually want more and more and more.  this type of success  won't fulfill us.

If on the other hand we feel satisfied, grateful and warm inside...it is likely Grace that has  provided our success. We will feel fulfilled.

Does that mean we shouldn't accept the external world gifts that come to us?

No.  By all means accept them, embrace them, rejoice in them.  Just don't anticipate that they will fill you up...they won't. These are just forms that we play with. ...delightful, pleasing and fun but not permanent.


They are also signs that something is going well on the inside.

All that happens on the surface is an unfolding of that which is always there beneath the surface, waiting to be expressed. (Deepak Chopra)

 When we respond to Life with Gratitude, Life responds to us with gratitude.  We reap the bounty, so to speak. That type of success comes when we feel successful on the inside and we can get there through gratitude. Be grateful first for what you have...truly grateful before seeking more. Seek the inner experience of love, happiness and fulfillment and  then you will fin Grace happily greeting you. When you experience Grace at her best (with the joy of simply being!) you will believe you are worthy of the Grace within you.  When you believe that, your life will open up to you.

I am obviously, still working on the believing part lol...but it is coming.  I am patient. I want my success to come from the inside first.

All is well

References

Deepak Chopra & Oprah Winfrey (2018) Day 13 Manifesting Grace through Gratitude.