Take the lowest man; he lives in the forest. His sense of enjoyment is very small, and so also is his power to suffer. If he does not get plenty of food, he is miserable; but give him plenty of food and freedom to rove and hunt, and he is perfectly happy. His happiness consists only in the senses, and so does his misery. But if that man increases his knowledge, his happiness will increase, the intellect will open to him, and his sense enjoyment will evolve into intellectual enjoyment. He will feel pleasure in reading a beautiful poem, and a mathematical problem will be of absorbing interest to him.[Note: the poem and not the mathematical problem applies to this human I call "me":) ] But, with these, the inner nerves will become more susceptible to miseries of mental pain, of which the savage does not think.
Vivekananda (2.5.9 Chapter 9: Unity on Diversity; Complete Works; Kindle)
Again, I am trying to understand this sense of "suffering" the actor in this heavy drama is experiencing and why. Why do I get so lost in character and have such a difficult time pulling my attention off the drama? Haven't I learned through my intellectual and spiritual pursuits that I am only playing a part here? That that character isn't who I am? That the physical scenery around me is just a bunch of props that can be taken down just as quickly as they were put up...that this staged physical world is not the "real" one...that it is just illusion or "maya"? ? Why do we humans see it as real, even though we know at some level that it isn't? Why does maya have such a pull on us humans to the point this energy that is meant to be so high gets pulled down so low?
I look at the quote above. I think...Maya must have a purpose. We are not yet at the point of evolution, maybe, that we can handle the whole truth about reality. We are still evolving. Evolution goes through stages.
Maya, a Part of the Evolutionary Process
Like it is in the "savage"(not a word I approve of) infinite consciousness, that knows everything already, has to be filtered and strained through the human brain so only a small amount of information ...that which is necessary for survival...can pour through. We as characters on the stage do not see all there is to this experience of Living. We are limited to the physical, that which can be picked up by the five senses. Physical survival of the human organism has to be priority...if consciousness is to experience living through this physical host. In the early stages of human evolution, then, consciousness just focused on our hunting and gathering tendencies...on the basics. At the same time though, there was a sense or a deeper knowing that could not be conceptualized, only experienced as it is in animals, of a connection to something bigger and deeper. There was this knowing ...through intuition...through instinct...etc of consciousness, without having any ideation, vocabulary, or conceptualization to explain it. It didn't have to be explained. It didn't have to be known. It just was. There was a sense of happiness when basic needs were met, and a sense of suffering when they weren't. It was so simple. There was none of this "mental" suffering that plagues humans today.
With intellectualization and a growing thirst for knowing we have expanded beyond our survivalist nature. We are evolving into a search for comfort and building on how to maintain that comfort. We are leaps and bounds away from the "uncomfortable" forest. Yet, we are more miserable now than we were when survival was the only thing on our mind.
As we began to think more...we needed to create an "idea" of a world that would make sense to us. That is where "maya" came to be. Maya is a false idea of reality. Intellectualization has led to us having to create false realities to explain our inner turmoil. Consciousness was expanded from survival focus to Maya focus. We created a character= "me". We then wrote some plays, set up some stages, and began acting some roles. That became real to us. It became the only reality.
We are much more technologically and intellectually advanced...but we are farther away, as a result, from that inner knowing primitive man had. We are much more miserable. It takes a lot more than a full belly to make us or keep us happy. Why? We are lost in "ideas" and the need to "prove it" therefore we are lost in maya. This stage is not real people! There is so much more to reality than what can be picked up with the five senses, of what can be created in the human mind.
My own mind has gone from a survival tendency, to an intellectual or "let me explain why" tendency and that has left me feeling pretty miserable. I created and got lost in this play. I became the character of "me" and somehow, in a way I do not yet fully understand, I have created the scenes around me or enhanced the drama in my attempt to control it. It became so real to me. Now, I feel caught in a heavy drama I ...as an actor lost in character...really do not want to be in.
I am still evolving so I, like many other humans, can see that is what is happening. I can see both what is happening on the stage and to some degree what is happening off stage. I know I want to spend more time off stage. I know it is more "real" back here than it is up there. I catch myself waking up on stage ...I step back into the audience....I do my best to stay in the audience but...because I am far from evolved...I find myself back on the stage thinking it is real again and again. For me it is when I am on stage that I am miserable, and when I am off stage that I find the peace I long for. This is where I am in my evolution....caught between two seemingly real worlds. This is where I am meant to be. ...for now.
The Susceptible Inner Nerves of Intellectualization
Consciousness is experiencing a person waking up through this human I call "me". When I am on stage only so much of the collective unconscious flows through a very narrow door in my mind and into my experience. Albeit, what flows through is much more than it was during my pre-intellectualizing days but not as much as it could be. The door is only partly open. I can go only so far beyond "surviving mode". Now this mind is also flooded with thinking, believing, ideation, opinion, judgement, preference, craving, aversion etc. This stuff is piled up on the inside of the door, jarring it, and preventing it from opening more. It is in the way of allowing that connection, that intuition, and non-conceptual knowing that the primitive man experienced from coming through. So, I feel separated from it...therefore alone and miserable. It is also blocking "shakti" flow...so the natural joy and love that I am, cannot pour through. I don't feel that joy! I feel the absence of it! So, I go looking outward onto the stage and its drama to make me feel better inside. Of course, it doesn't take long to realize that this physical world stuff is not going to fix what is happening inside. That equates to more suffering, more misery. That is where I am still spending most of my time.
When I am off stage, different ball game. I feel peace, joy, awareness of Truth. I see so clearly the stage in front of me and I know it isn't real. I see that I sometimes play a role up there but that is not who I am. I see that is just the physical world and the physical body. There is so much more to reality than that, than what can be picked up with the five senses. The door in my mind opens more and more and more stuff pours through. I see inklings of truth pouring through; with it trickles of pure peace and joy! I know...Who I am cannot be confined to a form, to a place, to a certain level of knowing. I want to fall deeper back. I want more than the inklings of Truth or the trickles of joy coming through this door. I want it all. I want to trace those trickles back to the Source. At the same time, unfortunately, I know I have a ways to go. Though I don't want to leave this place, I know I am going to be pulled back into the drama of the physical plane again and again. I suffer knowing I am going to repeatedly suffer the loss of this place and the drama of the other. The drama on stage seems even more heavy after connecting with the lightness of higher consciousness. Sigh!
This is the stage of evolution I am, as this human, at. My goal is to stay off stage but before I can I have to accept, and embrace, honor and learn from the physical realm that I keep getting pulled back to. I keep getting pulled back into the drama for a reason. I still have much, much learning to do.
Sigh!
Wow! That helps me to see a bit more clearly why I suffer so. Thanks to teh collective unconscious for allowing that insight to come through.
All is well in my world.
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