Worry and Tramsmutation

 

The energy is down there, and your job is to let it come up...your whole life is a letting go process.

Michael A. Singer

The Experience of Worry

Do you see how much of your thoughts are based on worry?

Wow! I woke up worrying. Someone who owes me money and who usually pays right when they say they will...was a week late and when I reminded, I never heard back, which is totally unlike this person.  So, I began, in the early throws of morning light, to worry about them. As I lay there, I went from seeing them enduring a bit of stress and challenge to them undergoing extreme trauma that would prevent them from, not only paying me back, but would also prevent them from having a happy normal future. The mind took me from the tiny thought, "This is unusual. something must be up" to seeing them in the most awful of situations. I worried about them in this imaginary future I created, I also became the "me" again and I worried about this huge debt this "me" has to deal with, (I can only lend or give to others by taking on more debt and that debt is getting bigger and bigger) knowing that I could not maintain this living situation if things didn't change. I then saw myself living on the streets and started to make myself ready for that. "Where will I go?  How can I make that living on the street situation easier for myself and others? " I went from one negative thought to another. I tried to figure out ways to "fix" what seemed to be so broken 'out there'. I worried even when I was problem solving!

The attempt to solve something you are worried about is a part of worry. You are trying to solve a problem that is not even there.

Did this worry do any good?  Of course, not....it just gave me a sore gut and a messier head than I already had. This human I call "me" spent a good thirty minutes of a precious new day lying there suffering over a problem that wasn't even there! This is no way to live life.

You are living your life based on the mess inside your head...

No Resistance

That being said, it could have been worse. If I would have reacted to this worry the way I used to do...by pushing it back down or by expressing it in a les than healthy way, I would have created more suffering.  Resistance of this type of energy trying to come up and be released, creates more suffering.

You don't have to live like that.

You see, this worry energy is just energy and energy needs to flow.  Shakti...the beautiful energy of peace, love, joy wants to be released but through repression and suppression we have blocked its ability to flow freely out of us. By stuffing the unwanted down there on top of it and then like I did this morning focusing on that stuffed junk, we block Shakti. Shakti wants to flow and it pushes up against the blockages ...pushing that energy up into our conscious awareness when our samskaras are triggered by outside events. (In this case, a negative thinking and worry rampage.)  It feels like crap.  We don't feel the shakti...just the blockage...the fragmented pieces of a psyche.  Thes fragments can seemingly cut like shards of glass. It stings...we push it back down and away from conscious awareness. When we push the blocked energy down, we push the shakti back down. 

Stop Pushing It Down

I finally see that pushing it back down is only going to cause more suffering.  This blockage of energy needs to come up and out so shakti can flow. All that emotional energy is shakti needing to release itself. 

Shakti is the natural expression of who we are. Psyche is this self concept we created and have come to believe we are based on our past experiences and all that energy we stuffed and stored. Samskaras are the psyche-blockages we create when the energy that comes in is judged as too painful or unpleasant for this self concept. It is what we push down and constantly try to keep down below conscious awareness, not seeing how much damage we are doing when we do so. Psyche is constantly getting shattered into pieces by Life experiences. This seemingly solid "idea" we have of who we think we are, is constantly being tested by reality. We unknowingly block that beautiful flow of Shakti with these fragments of psyche and samskara when we push them down or hold them down over Shakti. 

All Just Energy

Every single energy that came up and you couldn't handle it is a fragment of your psyche...that stuff you stuffed down fragments your psyche

It is just a packet of energy. 

All energy is just energy...neither good nor bad but judging makes it so. We need to stop placing judgment on these emotional energies...calling them "Good/Bad, right/wrong, should be/ shouldn't be." Instead of suppressing, repressing, or expressing (which is just a means of allowing the suppressed energy to leak in an unhealthy way), we need to let all the energy on top of Shakti go and let it flow.

Do You Want to Keep this Crap? 

So, when that energy came up this morning and I realized I spent too long on it. Thirty minutes is too long to spend on any type of worry...I then consciously tried to transmute it, instead of  resisting it. I began by asking myself, "Do you want to keep this crap?" 

I knew the answer was "no", so I began to relax into the worry.  I didn't ask the worry to relax...I knew I needed to relax.  That relaxation began with me noticing the worry and how quickly the mind took that worry down into the most negative of thought experiences.  I didn't beat up the mind or myself for doing this...I just noticed the habit. I focused on breath.  I relaxed the body.  I allowed the experience of worry and all that was attached to it this morning to come up into my awareness. I felt my belly pain and I allowed that. I breathed. I did not attempt to push this experience back down.

Then I encouraged the worry to do what it needed to do in order to be released. I allowed that. 

Welcome it back up to let it pass through you

Pain for Gain

It was a bit of a rough start to my morning, not because of my present circumstances or this worry.  It was a rough morning because I was allowing purification and healing to take place and I was experiencing it full on.

What is stuffed in pain will come up in pain.

I was willing to accept a little pain for a lot of healing gain. I know that there is still so much down there and there is still so much psyche left.  I am not yet free of it.  I still see and experience life through it so much.  Life is really doing me a solid, whether it is intentional or not, to help me crack this psyche up into a million pieces but those broken chards feel like they are ripping up my insides when they come up lol. I am not going to do more damage by pushing them back down.

Why?

I just want to heal once and for all.  I am tired of pretending I am something I am not and getting all tied up in these samskara reactions we are a result of me pretending.

None of its you...you are the consciousness experiencing it...none of those psyche fragments are you

More than an End to Suffering?

I know this psyche, and all it stuffed and stored, is the cause of my suffering. So, I want to transmute this energy to end suffering. I am told the rewards for allowing energy to flow are much greater, but only a part of my mind goes there.  Hopefully, someday I will tap into this more. I will know through experience that I am more than this individual that worries 

Anger [and other emotions] is shakti blocked, God blocked...It is all God...you are God trying to flow through the expression of the creation....

The only thing that stands between you and God...are the blockages that you made down there, that are like clouds that block the sun

There are obviously things this human has to do 'out there' in response to this worry. practical things like learning to say "no", finding a better way to pay off my debt and creating a healthier way to relate to my loved ones.  There is a lot of "letting go" that I have to do out here as well. First and foremost, I have to let go in here. I have to notice these habits of mind, allow them to come up, relax into them, suffer the discomfort of their release, and let them go. Why? So energy can flow the way it was intended to. Sigh.

Suffering is Unnecessary.

I am not sure how much you worry but if you worry at all, know that there is a way out.  Not by repressing, suppressing, or even expressing ...but only by transmuting that energy can we be free. 

Note: More synchronicity at play.  What is the statistical probability that I would wake up in a worry reaction, deal with it in the way I learned to, and then go to listen to Michael A. Singer less than 30 minutes later only to find him talking about worry and how to deal with it. I think that is pretty cool.

All is well!

Michael A. Singer/Temple of the Universe/Sounds True (March 6, 2026) Transmutation: The Spiritual Art of Letting Energy Flow. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqejDKXmpis&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1

No Wall Zone!

 This above all; to thine own self be true

Shakespeare, Hamlet. Act 1, Scene 3

If you knew

what was true

inside  of you,

what would you do?

Would you push down

what's all around

and build a wall

that hid it all?

Would you scream and cry, 

while asking why

inside this lie

until you die?

Build  a face 

to hide this place,

cry  "Life is tough!" 

as you hide your stuff?

 If there was no repression,

 no suppression,

 or no expression,

there'd be no impression 

With no impression

...there is freedom

 So, let it go

let it flow

 and you will know

it is so.

All there is, is Love

 born from above...

You are that Love.

An apologetic "me"

Okay I am not sure what it is with all this crappy rhyming stuff that comes out when I listen to Michael A. Singer lately, lol. ...but out it came again. Bear with me. 

I remain quite uncomfortable in this present life experience. Still experiencing all this once stored and hidden away stuff coming up to the surface and it isn't pleasant. Part of me still wants to run away from it as fast as I can; to escape into some activity or project or just old habitual mind stuff. I want out of this part of the purifying and healing that is sooooo uncomfortable...I even slip out too many times to count..a lot...but knowing that I want to finally be true to Self... that is my mission in this Life... I pull myself  back and say, "Just sit with what is.  Your Self needs this to be done...be true to that Self. Stay open, align, purify, and heal!"

Life, wanting to assist with this mission kindly obliges by sending the awareness of suffering to this human I call "me" from all angles. And as I sit there in the middle of it I feel the suffering in this little human and most importantly I feel the suffering of the world. It isn't pretty, let me tell ya. Instead of closing I do my best to stay open to it.  Instead of resisting; I do my best to relax into it.  Instead of clinging and stuffing more down on top of it, as my old reactive habits encourage; I do my best to let it all go. Instead of building up more walls and personas for protection, as I am so attempted to do, I allow all pre-existing walls to crumble to the ground.  

It may be a mess...but....I declare this being a "No Wall Zone". 

All is well

Michael A. Singer (March, 2026) The Path to Integration: Releasing the Fragmented Self. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuUDCrE888A&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=2

The Unevolved and the Unfinished Product

It is the destiny of every human to awaken from their conditioning...Humanity is not a finished product. Gradually... there is an evolutionary movement through the universe which is the awakening of consciousness... If you don't awaken you create suffering for yourselves or others.

Eckhart Tolle

We are all waking up whether we know it or not.  It is happening.  The process is quicker in some, more gradual in others but we are all waking up.  It is our destiny. Sigh,

Those who are still way back in the pakicetus stage of evolution, may be doing, what seem to be, autrocious things to humanity and to the planet. They may be creating great suffering. Those who have already evolved to the highest level (and there are only a few), on the other hand, may be doing miraculous things to heal the world. They may risk the lives they nolonger see as their own to speed this evolution of all along. They may  even get crucified by those packicetus' who fear them and this process of evolution.  What do the highly evolved have to say about such autrocious acts directed at them?

Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.  Luke 23:34

How can you blame a two year old for peeing their pants? You can't...you forgive them as you wait for them to be ready to toilet train, directing, protecting, controlling the consequences of their actions to some degree until then.  You put a diaper on them.  Imagine all those world leaders who have not yet evolved enough to the point where they can see and honor the greater good as pakicetus' wearing diapers. The silly image may remove some of your own reactive hate and fear....which truly does no good.

Just as the parent of the two year old focuses on what their child could become with proper training when they are developmentally ready, calmly and objectively buffering their actions  until then...we must do the same. We must look compassionately and patiently on all humans who have yet to evolve. We must see that they, in the deepest sense, know not what they do. We must forgive them for that (for our own menatl health as much as anything).

 At the same time, we must realize and accept that these less than evolved humans are subject to temper tantrums, selfish thinking, a "me-me" perspective, the taking of and clinging to toys, egoic needs and the potential to harm others at this stage of their development if they do not get their way.  We do not give the keys to the family car to a toddler and expect them to drive safely and not run over anyone.  We cannot give these beings the keys to a nation (and yes that is what happened in many cases...they were given the keys of a nation or at least allowed to play with the keys when they reached up and got them from the counter ) when it was known they were not developmentally ready to drive. The more mature and evolved of us in this human race...need to step up and say, "No"... firmly with consistency and contingency, regardless of the increased intensity of the temper tantrum this "No" will cause. The keys need to be gently taken away without spanking anyone. 

Humanity is not yet a finished product...we must strive to get it there. We must allow consciousness to awaken farther. The need for collective evolution needs to be taught and reinforced again and again and again throughout the world...even if these diaper wearing pakicetus'  cannot "get it" at this stage. We need to get it even if they never do. Otherwise we are all going to get run over.

Hmm!

All is well in my world.

Eckhart Tolle ( March 2, 2026) If You Grew Up in Chaos: Watch This! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpbQ-X_-Cig&t=547s

Speeding the Process A Long

 Don't rush, let the fire burn slowly.

...In a hundred days you will see the result

Zhang San Feng, The Song of Silent Sitting

Hmm! I feel myself impatient lately for this fire of purification to run its course and burn out.  It has been going on within me for many years and it is far from comfortable. I see, maybe not so clearly, but I do see the mess within that needs to be swept out. I see how that mess limits this Life experience; how it holds this human I call "me" back from expanding into true awareness of Self. Though it appears to be just a messy pile of cluttered junk when I look inside, I do see the limiting beliefs acting like old sticky chewing gum holding this samskara mess together, as they always pull more into their stickiness. 

I have to get to those beliefs! I have to pull them from all that energy in there, bring them to the surface, examine them, question them, see what they have done to this life, envision a life without them and then let them go. Then I have to replace the holes they leave behind with beliefs that enhance life rather than diminish it.

I know that without the sticky beliefs that have held me back, the mess in here isn't going to miraculously sweep itself up...but it will untangle itself from the pile and fall into separate scattered pieces that are easy to vacuum or sweep up. Hmm! 

How did someone, like me, end up creating a housekeeping analogy lol?  Anyway.

I have been asking for a quicker clean up. I was brought back to Tai Chi. The above line promises that if one practices Tai Chi diligently for 100 days they will be purified. The hundred days are not yet up and I certainly feel something happening in my gut.  It is very intense. So, I asked if  I could or should add another short-cut solution to this process. Could getting through this big pile of samskara holding me back from experiencing Life in the way I believe all humans should experience it, be enhanced by the use of psychadelics or hypnotism?

I literally asked that question out loud and in writing to any creative force out there. As if on cue I found myself suddenly super intrigued by  the power of "core beliefs" again.  I found myself reminded of the power of hypnotism and intention in a myrid of ways over the last four days. ...podcasts will come on, posts  have been randomly read from this site where I was talking about such things, the name or image of Paul McKenna or Richard Bandler seems to be randomly popping up everywhere and their books seem to end up in front of me instead of being on the book shelf where I last put them.  I didn't catch on until this morning...."Oh...I am being given an answer maybe...I can get to the root of my trauma, which is the biggest samskara within me, and the creator of my core belief ....more quickly through hypnotism. I can begin by removing the sticky gum that binds all my samskaras together into one big, nasty knot. Hmm! 

 So, if belief can be so powerful, just stop for a moment and think of the most overwhelmingly wonderful things you could have or do if you take the belief that stops you from learning anything new quickly and easily, faster than you could ever suspect, and simply change it. How would you be if you could harness more of your brain's ability to alter its state, so that when you opened your eyes you created something absolutely wonderful-?

Richard Bandler's Guide to Trance-Formation, pg 96

All is well. 

Purified by Fire?

 

Accepting pain as help for purification...constitues Yoga in practice.

The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali's : Book Two; 1...page 75

Okay...so I have  really been feeling something like fire or pain twirling and whirling in my core over the last few days...in the area between the solar plexus and sacral chakra...I mean like a literal whirling and twirling around this big knot.  Of course, rational mind slips in and says "Gastritis! You could have an ulcer from all the stress your body has endured over the course of your life time...or maybe from the meds. You have been on a proton pump inhibitors way too long...and going off them the way you did probably caused some rebound effect." There is likely a very physical explanation for what is going on here to a point. This gut is burning for some reason.

Tapas means" to burn or create heat". Anything burned out will be purified.  pg 75

At the same time I find myself feeling up one moment, down the next.  I can slip into a relaxation or meditation so easily but in between I feel all restless, and anxious even.  I feel bored one minute...like I have to do something stat, and the next moment I feel like this not doing is exactly what I am supposed to be not-doing lol. I feel at one moment all caught up in the drama I have been called into, and the next moment I am back and away from it, observing it all in a very neutral and objective way. Throughout all that is unfolding in front or me and around me, the belly has periods of releasing...as if the twirling flame is moving up and out of me.  At those moments I feel relaxed, calm, peaceful...then the whirling will start again. At those moments I feel anxious, ungrounded maybe. It is weird...not sure if the physical sensation is causing the emotional sensation or vice versa.  Not sure it even matters. I am just acutely aware of this human's physical and emotional experience...probably more so than ever. 

I would like to think that what is happening is a samskara release...that this knot in my gut which holds my old life-limiting core beliefs, my shame and fear, and most of "my" past trauma energy is being shook up by the "chi" or "shakti" beneath it, that I am calling forth through my practice and yes through my itention.  Yes, I set a clear intention for openness, purification , healing and the ability to live Life through Love.  I even created a sigel. I can't yet trust that this might work not only because of the woo-woo attached to itthat challenges old paradigms, but because of this core belief arising from the shaking up...that convinces me that things are not going to work out for this human, "they never do".  With all this burning and this tumbling around in there...sparks of these core beliefs are being thrown up and around and I cannot help but notice them. I do not want to ignore them ,avoid them, or resist them. I want to observe them...look deeply into them as Thich Nhat Hanh would encourage someone to do, so they will feel seen enough to leave. 

I hope all this discomfort is simply a part of the purification and healing process that I so want to happen. In that case, I will just sit with it and see where it takes this human I call "me". 

Trauma Release- It takes time, patience, and a willingness to sit with discomfort. Counselling Center Group

All is well.

Sri Swami Satchidananda ( 2011) The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Yogaville: Integral Yoga Publications

Just Wavelets and Mist

 If you want to get close to God and know about God...you have to work with mind. 

Michael A. Singer

I was listening to Michael Singer in the below linked podcast and as I was listening I found my fingers typing out this poem. Two hemispheres of my brain seemed to be communicating and functioning at the same time. (Good old Corpus Collosum lol).  I was able to listen, interpret, analyze at the same time I was open to this creativity thing coming through based on what the other side was doing.  I am not saying, by any means, that the poem is great...but the process was and the experience of using both sides of the brain at the same time is pretty cool. I started the poem at the beginning of the podcast, right after the above quote, and I finished it before he said his closing mantra.  Weird! And cool!

All is well. 

Wavelets and Mist

The world that seems so real

around this thing that you call "me" 

is a process so complicated

it is almost impossible to see

the wavelets in a quantum field

moving here and there,

vibrating all around you

 while bouncing off the air; 

and coming through your senses

your eyes, your ears, your skin.

Flashing, buzzing, tingling,

you let the vibration in

to travel up your neurons

to the filtering matter of the brain

while solid becomes vapour  

shifting past the physical plane.

Vibrating, vibrating, vibrating 

 in a neutral etheral mist,

it is carried  back to the place 

where no matter  can exist.

From some-thing to no-thing

 through the fence of time and space,

the wavelet dances in the field 

in the gentle arms of Grace.

Such a beautiful ballet of Life

with many ups and downs,

so perfect in its joy and sorrow

until the ego comes around.

Ego, determines through its judgment

and its director's cue

if the the twirling  wavelet 

is worthy to pass through.

"Good and  Bad you stay on stage.

Neutral you are free.

We must create a performance 

for Consciousness to see!"

So these dancing wavelets,  

energy in its changing form,

become solid thoughts and feelings, 

while Life becomes a storm

that takes the attention of awareness

from its dancing play

to the serious performance of matter,

while the ethereal slips away.

If ego mind controls the dancers

consciousness cannot see

that the dance is only mist

made by the direction of a "me". 

© Dale-Lyn (Pen) February 2026

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True ( February 26, 2026) How Consciousness Becomes Trapped in Thought. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAYBOINwPCE&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1

Intending?

Training the mind to perform powerful magic requires a similar level of practice, and it may well have a similar transformative effect. So, be advised that while an initial attraction to magic may be to gain money, fame, and sex, the ultimate prize may be a dramatic change in your personal values that is far more meaningful and beneficial to all. 

Dean Radin, page 206

Still thinking of the power of intention. That is the magic I am talking about.

 I have long since come to the understanding that "desire" is the root of all suffering, yet my human brain is questioning if it is okay to "intend." Is it okay to use consciousness to "intend" a certain something to occur in the matrix of this human's life experience? 

When I ask this question first, then go on to ask, "What would I intend?" I get very confused, almost panicked with an answer, "I don't know!" 

There was a time I was right into the manifesting thing as you might be able to tell by my earlier entries. I thought "desire" was a healthy thing. I had lists of things that I believed I wanted this human to have in their life experience. I had put these desires in images on dream boards and in my mind during Japa meditations. I had positive affirmations posted everywhere. I even attained some of the things I visualized in the kookiest of ways. There was much more, though, that didn't come to fruition in the way I envisioned it would.  So, I had a 'confused' relationship with this idea of 'magic'. I am very aware how powerful consciousness is. I just have no idea of where and how I should use it. 

As I continue to evolve, I have come to see that "acceptance of what is" is much more peace-inducing than getting lost in ego craving and desire for things to be different than they are. I began to look beyond the things I thought I wanted to what I was hoping I would get from them. What I was hoping for was for things to be different than what they were so I could have peace of mind.  I realized it was peace I wanted from those images on my dream board and from those words scribbled on sticky notes everywhere.  It wasn't the "thing": the job, the money, the relationship, the writing success, the trips to the ocean, or the diagnosis and treatment (that was the biggest thing I tried to manifest back then. I thought it would be the key to end all suffering for me and my family...foolish)...it was the peace I erroneously believed these things would give me. I began to explore my "desiring" and began to see it, not as a way out of suffering, but as something that kept me in it. I could see so clearly how desiring kept me striving in busy mind; kept me grasping and clinging; kept me resisting and avoiding.  It kept me struggling and pretending.  It did not take me to peace of mind.  Learning to accept what is, however, did. Finding and maintaining peace no matter what was showing up in my life became my new desire focus.

So, with this in mind, I found many moments of perfect peace, I did, but the life experience for this human in terms of circumstance did not get easier.  I was very accepting of what showed up in my life, and therefore much more peaceful than I ever was...but the struggles, the challenges, the scarcity kept coming. They impacted the body and mind of this human in many ways: physically, financially, socially etc. Still, I learned to welcome the struggles and their impact on this life. I began to see these things as a part of my spiritual journey- a way to scrape off ego which made them much easier to accept.  Much of ego did get scraped off, much remains. 

The question then became: "What should I want and do for my soul development? " rather than "What can I manifest to make this little 'me' feel better?"  I made a very big distinction between what my deeper Self wanted and needed and what the human wanted and needed. In fact, I made a big distinction between spirit and body-mind. I was committed to honoring spirit, and denying body and mind needs so spirit could be served.  Serving the needs of the soul became my priority even though I hadn't a clue as to what those needs were. I assumed that this practice required this human to put aside any of its physical, emotional, social needs for the "greater need". There was a lot of self-sacrifice in that ideation. I thought that was good.  It wasn't supposed to be about this "me". The me had to die. I would even feel so guilty, like I was failing in my practice, if I thought of my physical or emotional needs before someone else's, if I made choices to take care of this body and mind. I was literally "trampling down the self with Self" as Michael Singer would call it.  I would look back at past entries in this blog where I was still talking about manifesting and healthy desire...and not-wanting as a form of cancer, and  I would feel so much shame. "That's not spiritual!  That's not evolved!" 

Well, I have been evolving all along in many ways. Now, I am at the point where I am asking: 

"Is it okay to use this amazing power of consciousness to 'intend' easier times for this human and her loved ones? I will flow with the ups and downs of Life, no problem, but can I not use the power of the Universal mind to make that flow easier?"

I am not sure if I am bargaining...but I hear myself saying things like, 

"If I had some form of undeniable validation that I was travelling on the right path here, this human's life would open up and she would be able to do greater things for the world."

"If I had a better income, I could do so much more good. I could volunteer my skill set to where it is most needed. I could teach in refugee camps. I could get people into treatment programs.  I could give the books I write away. "   

"If I wasn't constantly dealing with present day crisis after crisis, I could use that time and energy to purify and heal from past trauma and therefore be more open, loving, giving. I could be one of those humans that truly wakes up, encouraging others to do the same."

"If I had more validation when it comes to my writing and teaching in all avenues that I do it in, I would be motivated and inspired to do my greatest work."

"If my writing got noticed and read...I could reach more people, possibly helping them."

etc...etc...etc

I am still very confused about "intention" and how to best use this power of consciousness, if I...as one little human...am supposed to use it at all. I would like to think as Dean Radin suggests that training the mind to open up to such magic can help with transformation at the deepest level.

But I don't know. I continue to observe and accept a lot while I intend little.

All is well

Dean Radin (2025) The Science of Magic. NewYork: Harmony

Intention, Tea, Poetry, Purification, and Wisdom

 Song of Tea 

by Lu Tung

The first cup moistens my lips and throat.

The second cup breaks my loneliness

The third cup searches my barren entrail, 

  but to find within some thousand volumes of odd ideographs.

The fourth cup raises a slight perspiration; 

  all the wrongs of Life pass out through my pores

At the fifth cup I am purified.

The sixt cup calls me out to the realm of the immortals.

The seventh cup, ahh but I could take no more!

  I only feel the breath of a cool wind that raises in my sleeve

  Where is paradise? Let me ride on this sweet breeze and want away tither. 

(written in the 9th century by a Taoist monk and tea connoisseur)

I was introduced to this poem this morning while I was ironically drinking my tea and while I was listening to Alan Watts in the below linked recording. Both drinking tea and listening to wise words are part of my daily sadhana. Watts was talking about his love of water and mentioned that he seeks the ocean to "wash all the wrongs of life from my pores". The line stuck for all kinds of reasons.  It seems to be my main motivation in life...to wash away the wrongs of Life from my body and mind, to purify. So, I was inspired from one poet (this recording from Watts is very poetic) to seek the wisdom from another. I looked up that line to find the poem from which it came. ...all while I was drinking my tea. :) 

Like Lu Tung, I do want to purify. I see the stages so poetically described with each cup. First, we get a taste of what a deeper way of being can offer us. Then we see how it makes us question our separateness, From there, we discover a host of images and concepts, beliefs and conditioning blocking a channel that is meant to be free and clear. We, then, begin to sweat out the impurities- the samskaras begin to rise to the surface for release. We are cleansed by the fifth cup and in contact with the unseen by the sixth.  Finally, if we dare to drink the seventh cup, we will be merged into the oneness of what is. 

Though I could never drink seven cups of tea at one sitting lol, I want this purification, I do. I am assuming and hoping that this intention I have to purify, and possibly touch the fringes of enlightenment, is as pure as the tea Lu Tung received as a gift. (It is definitely purer than the over processed stuff I am drinking.) As I sip my second cup of tea breaking through this idea of my separateness and finding all the conditioning and stuffed and stored images blocking what should be a free-flowing canal for energy to flow through, I question how pure my intention is. 

I was asked in a round about way yesterday...if I could intend anything in this lifetime...and receive it, what would it be?  I was directed to be as specific as possible. Of course, I always answer first from my spiritual ego and say: to enlighten, to tap into the truth of Life, to finally know God. I do want that because I do know, beyond this ego level, that being in the 'realm of the immortals' will "solve" all these minor issues this human seems to be experiencing. So, there is truth in that answer...there is...but I also know that is only a truly pure answer when it comes from someone who has escaped the shell of ego...which I have yet to do. 

Ego is still around and it wants certain things. What I really intend, even in that above expression, is to "solve all these minor issues this human is experiencing". I want to make living more comfortable and peaceful for this human. That is an ego thing, isn't it?

Lynn Taggart recites studies that show that selfless altruism is one of the most effective ingredients in intention. My intentions are not that altruistic or selfless. If I am being honest with myself, I would also intend, if not outwardly and all that consciously, for other things besides transcendence too. I do want to experience the end of "suffering" (not necessarily the pain or discomfort which I know are necessary components of Life) for this human I call "me". I would vaguely intend that circumstances lighten up and become easier for all. Not specific enough, is it?

I would intend that those around me that are suffering would have access to, accept, and  get the help they need. That is not all that altruistic as it seems.  I selfishly want the suffering I experience watching them suffer ...the being pulled into that drama... to end. This human's experience of living is so attached to the suffering others' experience of living. When they have moments of expressed peace, I have peace.  When they have moments of expressed pain and discontent for Life, I suffer in a myriad of ways. Instead of accepting their suffering as a part of "my" little experience, as a human who was truly seeking transcendence above all else would do,...allowing it to come in, making peace with it, learning and growing from it...I resist it and I pray and intend at some level that it stop. I would intend that they find peace from suffering...even if this intention does not have the most wholesome of roots.

Should I intend instead, an ability to find peace regardless of their circumstances as I maintain love, compassion and empathy for their life experiences ...which I know now ...have little to do with this "me"? I don't know.

I would also selfishly intend a better guided and directed version of Life for this human I call me.  One where trusting something greater is not met with so many obstacles. I would intend for more direction and guidance in what I do or don't do in this lifetime.  I would intend for obvious answers to these questions: Where should I be focusing my energy? What am I meant to give and offer the world? I would intend for validation... a few obvious miracles and blessings to show up in my Life experience that would allow me to see, without a doubt, that I am on the right path. A break with the writing, maybe...some validation there. Or some opportunities to teach in a different platform what I am learning etc. I write and I share everyday all this amazing stuff I am learning. It fills me with so much internal motivation and purpose but it doesn't seem to go beyond this "me". If it is a wholesome service, isn't it supposed to go beyond this me? What I offer in terms of these words, these books I have written, my authentic desire to help in this way seems to be going nowhere and that is okay if that is the way it is supposed to be for this human.  I would just like to know somehow if that is the way it is meant to be so I can fall into the flow of it or so  I can turn in another direction. I don't like not knowing if I am actually helping. I worry that I might even be hurting others in some way if my focus of attention is in the wrong direction. It is uncomfortable living with this not knowing if I am helping or hurting? That is pretty selfish and "me-me" focused, isn't it?

If I dare to get really honest and selfish, I would also intend for a better income so there was less stress in this version of life. I don't like worrying about debt. I keep assuming that would make my life better?? With a better income, I could also do more for others like get a loved one into an expensive treatment program. Again, this is not as selfless or altruistic as it may seem...Though I sincerely want the well being of my loved ones and all suffering humans, as a matter of fact, I make this specific intention for selfish reasons as well.  I want the peace of mind I assume will come with knowing I did  or am doing everything I could as a human to help., 

As I sip my tea (still on my second cup and its cold) I contemplate all this. I also imagine Alan Watts sitting on his houseboat in 1963 (my birth year) contemplating the non-duality of Life as he gently rocks back and forth on the breath of eternity.

...the movement of water is like the breathing of eternity

I may never know exactly the 'how- to' or the 'what-for' of intention in this little lifetime.  I may never know, as long as I am wearing this shell of ego, if my intentions are pure enough to be answered, but it is all good. I will just sip my tea, ride on the sweet breeze, and wait for purification.

All is well. 

Be Here Now Network ( 2025) Alan Watts:  Love of water: Being in the way Podcast Episode 27 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LWaWxr9p2c

Changing Seats

The real growth comes from the paradigm shift...a true paradigm shift occurs when you change your seat [of consciousness]...the level [where you sit] determines everything. 

 What seat are most of us humans sitting in?

One that is situated in the midst of a problematic life created and sustained by a psyche full of fear. This seat is pretty well stuck in the midst of a busy world and we can barely breathe where we are seated, let alone move about and grow. 

Say what crazy lady?  

It is a pretty limited Life we lead when we choose to sit here and look down at all the mess around us and identify with it. We come to believe we are it, and this mess "down here " is all there is to Life. We, in this seat, create fear so we can protect ourselves from fear.  Come to "believe" in this maya or illusion as real and spend our time creating and maintaining fear. We live very tiny and limited lives as a result. We believe in our beliefs and in order to deal with this version of truth generated by fear and the mess we made, we may seek a  "spiritual" solution without moving from these seats.  

It doesn't work like that. First of all,

Spirituality is never about beliefs...it is about the truth. There are deeper truths...[it is true there there are atoms ...but it is even truer that there is a vibrating field beneath the atoms.

Secondly, spirituality is all about moving. It is about changing our seats to create a paradigm shift. We need to ask, "Why am I looking down at that which isn't real instead of looking up?" 

From there we need to realize that , "I don't have a problem but I am looking at something that has alot of a problems."

This  psyche is nothing...it and what it experiences has no meaning...

You care more about what is going on in there...in your imaginary self...than you do the whole universe

The universe is way more real than this thing you have in your head

It's so small it is ridiculous...that delusion...that tiny little thing

Ask the: "Why am I devoting myself to that?"  Change your seat. 

Pull back and sit on the top of the Earth ...and look out and don't look down.

Your mind is a sixth sense...it allows you to go beyond the limit of the five senses

It isn't easy to sustain such a paradigm shift. When we make that decision to do so...to make this paradigm shift the most important mission in our life but find that we keep getting pulled back down to that seat with its very limited perspective, we need to ask why?

Why no matter how hard I try do I get pulled down into this tiny little psyche?...The answer is fear. 

Fear underlies desire...if you do not have fear...you will not have desire.

Why are we limited?

Because we fear and allow ourselves to be limited by that fear.

Do you want to be that little? Or do you want 

to be able to sit on a planet and enjoy the journey...you are not enjoying the journey because you are looking down

It doesn't matter what you are doing...nothing is happening here. 

Yet, most of us will spend our lives arguing why we are stuck in these seats and we will argue for the reality of maya we perceive around us. We argue for the truth of our smallness and wonder why we are stuck. 

You are arguing to be the tiniest thing on the face of the Earth.

In truth we are not small. 

Liberation has to be the meaning of your life. Then you have to ask why can I not do it...The answer is Fear...part of the human has devoted itself to creating and maintaining its fears throughout its incarnation. We have to learn to learn to deal with fear...little by little. We have to stop running away from the fear, to stop creating our own fear and then being afraid of it. We need to catch ourselves creating our own fears and then  we need to stop avoidng fear. (paraphrased)

You create your own fears so you can protect yourself from them.... Relax your way through it...expand your life by being okay with your fear....99 percent of your fears are nothing...fears are only real because you said they were

Singer describes our addiction to fear as 

You are God on fear.

We get lost in that fear based thinking and forget who we really are and where we could be sitting. We could, as infinite awareness, be sitting in a seat up high looking out at the amazing experiences that surround us enjoying it all. We really need to change our seats so we can experience this Life the joyous and full way we were menat to, don't you think?

All is well. 

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True ( February 23, 2026) Taking the Paradigm Shift from Fear to Freedom. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9N_E8CU8lY&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1

Three Jewels of Taoist Wisdom

 In just the same way as you can't bite your own teeth, you can't look into your own eyes without a mirror...you cannot define Self

Alan Watts

I listened to Alan Watts speak of something I heard him speak about many times but it was a wonderful reminder and it came at a relevant time. He spoke of the three major points in Taoism I am so interested in this idea of "Chi', just as I am interested in this idea of "shakti"...they are actually, I beleive , the same thing spoken about in different cultures. 

To understand "shakti" one attempts to understand yoga. To understand chi, one attempts to undersatnd the Tao.

The Tao

Really though, this understanding of yoga and the Tao  is an oxymoron in itself because the Tao especially cannot be defined or explained.

The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao

That which is absolutely basic...the basic energy of the universe, according to Alan Watts...what you are. cannot be defined. As in the quote above, the hand cannot get a hold of itself. He tells us that what we say we are is not what we  are. This role, this description of self, this character we call "me" is something we are playing with...What we are is consciousness.

What is the nature of consciousness?  No one can say because it is common to all experience.

I like this explanation of consciousness as fundamental. Often, when things are so fundamental we do not notice them. The Tao is the basis of everything, to all that is going on and we don't notice it.

We don't notice anything from which we cannot see a limit...

It can't be named or explained. It can, however, be experienced.  The Tao can be experienced; Yoga can be experienced.  Chi can be felt and experienced; Shakti and Sat Chit Ananda can be experienced.  Once we experience it...we see everything so clearly.  We see that what we thought was real was never real.

Once you experience it, you are no longer taken in by the game that you are playing. You see through that game [of the ego] 

Unity and Opposites

You cannot have one without the other

We see duality everywhere and we fear because of it.  We see that there in "being" and non-being" and we are terrified of the "non-being" [death].  We close our eyes to that reality and cling to life with all our might. In reality, there is so much more "non-being" than there is "being"...so much more "space" and "emptiness" than there is solid matter. This terrifies us because we feel non-being, space, emptiness is the end of everything. We forget to see that being and non-being are sides of the same coin...cannot have one without the other. We need to be able to hear and apprecaite  the intervals between the notes of music.

"Space is real" ...but...reality is identified with the solid 

He suggests we need to better understand that key line from Shakespeare's Hamlet:  "To be or not to be" is not the question we need to be asking. 

We make these distinctions with the vibrations we pick up with our senses. But he explains

All your senses are really one type of sense...a type of touching...we touch light with the eyes...all sensation is a vibration...that goes on and off...

To see wisdom is to see the secret conspiracy between the opposites 

Wisdom comes from understanding the unity of everything...Only those with an innate intelligence will believe in the unity of everything.

Death is the most life giving thing there is...if you die before you die...you come alive

Wu Wei

He then speaks to one of the greatest concepts Taoism tecahes: Wu Wei, Effortless acton.

He tells us

Life is something that is always falling apart...but if you get with it...you flow with it you become alive

Wu Wei is about going with the flow, with the Toa and not fighting it. It is about not acting against the grain of nature. He offers an example by explaining that sailing is  much more aligned with the Tao than rowing is.  One requires effort, the other requires a simple going with nature. 

When you sail you cannot sail directly against the wind.

Anyway, worth a listen.

All is well.

Alan Watts/ Be Here Now (2025) Philsophy of the Tao. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmeipXO7O_E

Misuse of the Mind

 Suffering is created by misuse of the mind.

Eckhart Tolle

Do you embody the most important thing we can embody in this incarnation: awakening consciousness of the universe? 

Or are you still consumed by the limitations of identity? Are you constantly hearing this question of ego: What can I identify with now? 

When ego cannot find enough to identify with, it asks the above question. We, then,  create thought forms from this...that distract us from the discomfort of being in the present moment.

We, then, go about  looking for some "superiority" to validate ego's existence in life. Do you see this tendency in yourself?

Are you transforming a trauma, and an idea of  "I have been unfairly treated by life"  into an identity...into a thought form?

If you answer yes to these questions, indicating an active ego...you are not alone.  May of us humans, including this one, grapple with this tendency. Many people create a victim identity when they cannot find more favorable things to identify with that will allow us to feel superior to others. Ego needs to identify with something!  Identification with victim status is still a superiority complex...Ego tries to convince us we are morally superior because of what we went through. It keeps us stuck in this pattern. 

I often feel stuck in this pattern.  

And as Exkhart Tolle explains,

There is something not right about the human mind...

The thing is recognizing  and accepting this tendency in ourselves can be the first necessary steps in healing from it.

All is well

Eckhart Tolle ( February, 2026) Give Me 13 Minutes- This Will Chnage How You See Yourself. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1dlEocp_Yo&t=786s

A Similar Wave-Length

Thoughts are just vibrations that manifest in the thinking mind...[we are not the thoughts or the thinking mind]

Michael A. Singer (paraphrased )

I have this very strange pull to Michael Singer that I cannot explain.  Obviously, I see why I am attracted to his teachings.  He is a modern day yogi and he teaches the things I like to think and talk about in a very contemporary way. His thinking is so similar  to my way of thinking as a a wanna-be yogi, but it is more than just having similar ideas that makes this unseen connection.  I seem to be so in sync with his teachings...with his mind... it is almost uncanny.  I seem to be travelling the same wave length...the same vibrational frequency (how is that for hippy woo-woo?lol). I am thinking about something or studying it elsewhere. I write about it. I then tap into his podcasts...and there it is....sometimes in the exact same words I jotted down, or he will bereferring to another being or teaching that I was just referencing. I am like "wow!" First of all, I cannot get over the synchronicity, and then there is the validation. I hear him and it feels like a sweet validation from the universe of the truth of what I am learning....of what I am teaching ( if I dare say what I do is teaching...lets say "sharing" :)). 

Unbeknownst to him, he is one of the reasons I keep coming here. He ....without intending to...keeps me in my practice. Well, not so much him...though I am sure he is a great person....it is this synchronicity...this strange "parallel thinking" if you want to call it that. 

"Parallel thinking" crazy lady? Are you sure you are not just 'following' or 'copycatting' him?

I am not much of a "follower" or a "copy cat". It may be hard to believe that someone as obscure and as unknown as this human  I call "me" could be on the same wave length of someone who is so well known...whose teachings are already so public and well received.  Am I grandiose in my saying that? 

I have been practicing and studying yoga long before I ever heard of Michael A. Singer. There have been other public speakers who I resonated with before I knew he existed: Eckhart Tolle (he was the first to validate my way of thinking), Wayne Dyer, ACIM, Thich Nhat Hanh, Ram Dass, Alan Watts etc....and of course, Yoganada, Patanjali, Vivekananda etc.  I have been contemplating the things he wrote and spoke about decades before I read the untethered soul...but something sweet happened when I read that book. It was like a "Yes...I get it! I am on the right path."

 And I suddenly knew...without doubt...that samskara release and purification was truly the only way to healing.  I already knew it on a psychological level to some degree-I have studied psychology and have read almost every self-help book out there, I am sure lol...but in his description of the thorn within...I was blown away. Ever since I have been encountering these synchronicities. Will such a synchronicity lead us to actually meet some day? Who knows?

His teachings together with these cool little happenings have set me on my purification path. Our mutual fascination with samskaras and purification is the biggest connection for me I think....I have revamped my own personal yoga practice...my already evolving sadhanna..to a samskara release priority...because of something he said years ago. It was like "Yes!  This is the way! I see now! This is going to work!" And here I am. Whenever I hear him speaking I am not really hearing something I don't know...I am being reaffirmed for what I do. It is so cool. 

Anyway, I appreciate him. I do but I appreciate this mind connection more. I can't understand it. It definitely feels more than a little woo-woo. This man will likely never know of my existence (even though it would be so cool to sit and talk to him)...Unlike him, I will likely remain unseen, unheard, and unknown to the world in my "sharing" and that's okay.  If that is my karma or my dharma, that's perfectly okay. I still feel a connection with him regardless. I feel something that goes beyond me being a "Michael Singer groupie" or "wanna-be"  lol. I feel a same wave-length connection I cannot understand. Some form of quantum non-locality or entanglement maybe. Anyway, just blows me away. 

So, I will just keep doing "my" stuff that few will see or hear, referencing him often, and I will continue to observe  this strange parallel mind wave thing as it unfolds in front of me. It is just so cool. 

All is well.  

Magic, Sahaja Samadhi, and the Balance Between Matter and Matrix

All matter originates and exists only by virtue of a force which brings the particle of an atom to vibration and holds this minute solar system of the atom together. We must assume behind this force the existence of a conscious and intelligent mind. This mind is the matrix of all matter. 

Max Planck (Father of Quantum Mechanics)

Eckhart Tolle in the below linked video describes what I believe to be magic. That is the ability to see...instead of through the veil that distorts reality for so many of us... through the simple uncluttered pure awareness, to everything that is happening in the foreground. (Ultimately everything happens in your mind).  It is being able to see clearly the distinction between foreground and background. The foreground is all the phenomena, including thought and feeling, that is unfolding in front of us humans, but the background is the pure awareness, the stillness. In the foreground there is gain and loss, success and failure, birth and death, happiness and unhappiness, calm breezes and torrential storms, sunshine and cloud, joy and sorrow. The background is untouched by any of it but is experiencing it all through this separate self we believe ourselves to be.  Magic happens when we realize we are so much more than this human body with a tiny slice of mind we can call our "personal mind" and definitely more than this idea of "me" we erroneously identify as.

There is something deeper than happiness and unhappiness and that is the stillness behind it all. 

You are essentially not that entity calling what you see "my life" you are the essence....and magic happens when we realize that. Eckhart Tolle

In yogic understanding there are something called "siddhis", marking a certain state of accomplishment of samadhi...true realization.  These siddhis would be seen as "magic" by even the most hard-core Harry Potter fans.  Now "magic" is just a word that has many different connotations for everyone, right? It really doesn't matter what we call it, does it?  You might call it "woo-woo nonsense", I might call it a siddhi, and dedicated researchers in the field, like Dan Radin, would call it psi phenomena. 

The attainment of these powers due to samadhi is believed by yogis to be the ultimate of accomplishments.  I am, however, not seeking these strange powers or what others would refer to as magic as my goal for Self-realization. I am seeking the ability to be balanced between both worlds...between the human one and the being one, between the foreground and the background. Hmm! Thanks to Eckhart Tolle I have discovered that this is a special type of samadhi known as Sahaja Samadhi.

Sahaja Samadhi is the state of samadhi where a person is said to be in both worlds simultaneously- fully anchored in the inner, non-dual divine consciousness while active in the outer, phenomenal world....considered the highest state of realization, where the distinction between the inner Self and outer world disappears, allowing the yogi to act in the world without losing awareness of their divinity. (google search: AI overview)

That is the magic I seek. What "magic" means to me is simply a piercing of the veil that keeps who we think we are from experiencing who we truly are.  It is that which pierces the veil between reality and what we are conditioned to believe is real. When that veil is down...anything is possible because the relativity of time and space becomes obvious. That to me is magic. It is not woo-woo nonsense. It is not "unrealistic horsesh&%". It is spooky science at a distance.(Einstein). It is seeing the matrix behind all matter.

I believe this type of "magic", is the true and lasting way to get untangled from our "unnecessary and unreal" sense of suffering. When we know who we are...an essence in the background observing all the ups and downs of Life in the foreground including our thoughts and feelings...we are not lost  to what is in front of us.  We are aware of it but not harmed by it. 

...the unhappiness may still be there, but it doesn't touch the deepest realm of your being anymore ...

Magic, to me,  is realizing we are awareness and not that which we are aware of...

Awareness means consciousness becomes conscious of itself...you are consciousness and you have become conscious of your Self.

Hmm! What do I know lol? Anyway, I recently answered a question, "Do you believe in Magic?" It may apply to what I have written here.

All is well.

Eckhart Tolle (February, 2026) Nothing in this World Can Touch the Real You. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=We8PLL5WSH0&t=991s

New to English or Know Someone Who Is?

If you are new to English or know someone who istruggling to get through an English language barrier...please check out the site below.  Google analytics indicates that there may be many of you out there whose primary language isn't English. (That is, of course, if the data is reliable and what it is picking up from countries all over the globe is actually human activity :) ). I want to offer you access to an imperfect but beneficial channel very few people know about. I want the work and effort I put into this to be worthwhile... to reach people it might help in some way.  

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGn3fCLSuqcAuXl8yxgrO8A

Escaping?

 

I made a promise to myself, to live a life I don't have to escape from.

unknown

I find it very hard to escape this escapist tendency I have lol...I try but there it is so often coming into my awareness, bubbling to the surface in my body with a tightness in my gut and an urgency in my movement.  I observe it in the thoughts that spring to mind , "What do I got to do now so I don't feel this?  Where do I got to go? What changes do I gotta make?  I have got to fill my moment with some distracting activity just so I am not absorbed in that internal restlessness. I have to do something 'productive'." I see it in my "seeking" for some way to "fix" the moment where this escape tendency emerges  by partaking in something that will "fix" me and this Life I am living. I so easily slip back into the "I will be free of this feeling when,,, peaceful when..." mantra of the unevolved existence. 

This escape tendency is much less intense than it was...because I am much more "aware" than I was but it is still there. One example, is the feeling and thought stream centered around, "I must find some paying work" or "I have to try writing for publication again." Those thoughts are there to help me escape this feeling of "unproductivity" I have and this belief that my'discontent with the moment'is partially a result of not having enough money.  I have to sternly remind my "self" ( but I am trying to be more gentle in my approach) that there is no escaping this moment...that this moment is all there is...that some time up there in a future that never comes is not the answer or the solution for finding samtusta...This, that is going on right here and right now, that may or may not be triggering that escaping samskara, is the solution.  It is a tool I can use for purification.  My noticing it is a doorway to my observing it. Observing it is a doorway to allowing and accepting it rather than running from it...Allowing will lead to a looking deeply at it and the moment , despite the squirming away tendency, and that will lead to this human making peace with it, honoring it, and embracing it... before slowly allowing it to be released. (We do not have to consciously release these things ...we just have to move out of the way.) 

So, I notice the escape tendency in me. I think the Buddha may have grouped this tendency under the fourth hindrance to awakening: restlessness and worry. It is a hindrance only when we resist the esperience of it...but when we allow it, observe it, look deeply into it and move out of the way of it...it can be a doorway that takes us higher. 

I don't know ...something to think about. 

Seeing Through the Quilt

 

Nothing that ever happened to you is meaningful [to anything but the "me"].

You don't matter...

Michael A. Singer (February 2026) Mind is Not the Enemy. What is Stored Within It Is. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=In3np-epMMI&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1

Listening to Michael A. Singer this morning...lead to this...

Removing the Quilt

The indwelling awareness of being....

peeks shyly from behind the intricately patterned quilt

hanging from the line of an insignificant "me".

As the breeze blows,

the way the breeze is meant to blow,

carrying droplets of perfect morning dew,

the sweetness of blossom, the seeds of new life, 

and the ashes of dying form,

the quilt hangs solidly,

stubbornly resisting the movement requested of it. 

Unlike the thinning sheets,

 now almost transparent from their many healing washes, 

and that now flap so noisily and freely beside it, 

the quilt, in its heavy weight, resists blowing with the wind.

The pure awareness of being hidden behind it,

a growing child with curious intentions,

chokes on the dust that has settled in a protective layer

over the many squares and colours of this quilt. 

Behind the unmoving barrier, the child of awareness feels so little 

of the refreshing touch this gentle cleansing wind offers.

It sees so little beyond the fraying threads and the many colorful patches 

that were added to this quilt... one joy at a time, one sorrow at a time

until 10,000 of each were sewn into the fabric of its memory.

As beautiful, or as unsightly, as this creation may appear to the perceiver,

it has become an obstructive barrier for the growing child trapped beneath it. 

Sigh!

As attached as I may be to the fruit of my action, I must think of the child.

I must not-so-gently shake the dust from this covering,

use a broom and beat it off if I must, so the child can breathe. 

Better still, I could undo the rusty pins the "me" clings to the fabric with 

and allow this obstruction to tumble to the ground in a beautiful pile of colours.

Or maybe, if I dare even further, I could remove the wire I call "me"

from which this veil is suspended.

I must let go and set free that which is longing to be free. 

Despite the long hours spent stooped over the rack

in devoted stitching and effort as I added carefully selected patches

I understand now that this quilt serves no one.

I clearly see  what I have created in my mind...

something that stifles the growth of awareness.

I must let awareness see and feel what it is here to experience. 

I must let it run freely in the wind on perfect bare feet that kiss the grass

 in reckless abandonment.

I must let it extend its innocent face up towards the sun

as it giggles with a joy every child is meant to echo.

I must also let it fall and skin its knees,

feel the pain of defeat,  and the agony of loss.

Despite my lingering attachment to the creation 

I have sewn and hung so carefully on this line of "me"...

I must let go.

I must set this awareness free so it can embrace this Life 

the way it is meant to do.

Dale-Lyn; February 17, 2025

All is well

Freedom Beyond the Ripple

 If you can control the rising of the mind into ripples, you will experience Yoga.

Patanjali

Patanjali  taught that we are born with this "beautiful empty, still  mind", this peaceful clear lake but along the way we rough up the water. We collect vibrations on top of this lake, creating so much rippling we cannot see the reflection of who we are when we look in.  We cannot see Self. 

Yoga is about dealing with the ripples so we can get back to the clear lake, so we can once again see Self. We will see our true unlimited nature beyond the prison ego locks consciousness in when it convinces it we are simply bodies with personalities in an external world that is full of suffering. Yoga helps us to remember we are the lake.

So, if you can have control over the thought forms and change them as you want, you are not bound by the outside world. You can make it a heaven or a hell according to your approach. That is why the entire Yoga is based on citta vritti nirodhah. page 6

Control?

Satchidananda uses the word "control" and  we need to be cautious with the use of that word.  The control he refers to is not about stopping the mind from doing what it does: "Think". It is more about what we do with this natural inclination of the mind to think, in terms of collecting thoughts and building "thought forms" or as Patanjali referred to it, "mental modifications" out of these thoughts, instead of just letting them pass through our awareness. Preventing the aggravation of ripples that take us away from understanding Self requires being aware of those thought vibrations, seeing how we have the tendency to get distracted by them. Instead of clinging and following them into never ending craving, clinging, suppressing, repressing, pushing away the realiity of Life, with " the I, me, my, mine" they create...we need to go deeper beneath the rippling surface to prevent the rippling. 

Say what crazy lady?

We need to understand, once again, that everything is energy vibrating (rippling) at different rates. Beneath what we see as a dense material world are several types of energies...some of it vibrating so quickly and so loosely that we cannot see it (scientific instruments have yet to be created to measure much of it). Other types vibrating so slowly we experience dense matter. When that vibration slows down, and the waves become more densely packed together, we begin to see matter.  Ice has a lower vibration rate than steam, for example, but both are just water.

 Matter is energy and energy is matter and the difference is just a temporary state...Einstein (paraphrased).

So what does this have to do with the mind?

The mind, consciousness, is the source of most vibrations. It has the highest vibration rate of all things we know. 

Is there a highest vibration whereverthing slows down from? Yes...tag...You are It. 

You are the Consciousness that is the highest vibration rate.  It all comes down to you.

So, the mind is the highest vibration making machine. We need, then, to take care of the vibrations it is capable of making.  Our thinking, though perfectly natural, can create distracting ripples that take us away from seeing who we are- that consciousness. The ripples we use the mind to make are usually related to this idea of us as separate little entities with problems, desires and aversions.  The ripples are so distracting we begin to see ourselves as those things. We get lost in them.

The vast majority of our thoughts are about "me" I, my, me, and mine"

Most people don't notice their thoughts, they believe they are those thoughts, 

Huh?

We are infinite consciousness experiencing Life through these bodies and personal minds. The senses pick up the vibrations of everything we encounter ...these vibrations travel up the nervous system tract to the brain, which is the filter for consciousness, for interpretation by the mind.  Meant to be empty and still like a clear lake, the mind experiences the ripple but quickly lets them go. It returns to its natural state of stillness. These sensory perceptions and mental interpretations may cause some vibrations...some ripples...but they are temporary as long as we do not cling to them. 

But...

This is where the problem comes in. We, as the operators of these minds, may grasp, cling, store, suppress, repress, avoid, and resist etc. these vibrations and when we do that we make big ripples or waves out of teh small ripples on this clear lake.  The ripples do not return to stillness. The water becomes so turbulent the reflection of who we really are can no longer be seen on the surface. All we see staring back at us are the ripples and waves of turbulent water. We identify with that.

The defense mechanisms are the means by which we do this...[creating a psyche we identify with]...

The stronger we interpret the sensory vibration coming in, as in trauma for example,...the bigger the wave, and the bigger the distraction. Infinite consciousness is drawn down into the citta vrttis or "mind stuff."[samskara]. We are pulled from our natural state into the chaos of a probelmatic "me". Chitti vrttis...mental modifications and vibrations in the mind...lead to very constricted view points and problematic life's of "I, me. my, and mine. "  Instead of peace, we have suffering. 

So, normally you are in a peaceful state.That is the natural condition of the mind. But the citta vrttis, or the modifications of the mind-stuff, disturb the peace. page 4

So what do we do?

We purify.

The purified mind is no different than the  Self...Yogananda

We stop grasping, clinging, stuffing, storing, resisting, and avoiding the vibrations of life as they come into the mind. We notice, allow, relax into and experience. Then we let them go. We let it all go.

Really, it isn't the mind that is causing the problem.  It is we, as operators of the mind, that are responsible for these ripples. So if we disturbed the mind, we can undisturb it.

There is not a single thing in your mind that you cannot get rid of. There is nothing in the mind that clings...you cling to the mind [personal mind as opposed to universal mind].

We have the power to be free through conscious purification.  Even if we are in a literal prison we can find liberation.

It is the mental attitude. If, instead of imprisonment, you think of this as a place for your reformation where an opportunity has been given you to change your attitude in life, to reform and purify yourself, you will love to be here until you feel purified.pg 5

Maybe our present states of consciousness in this Earth school, states where we feel trapped in this idea of "me," are prisons we can use to purify in. Maybe, we can learn to love this life of challenging learning for the freedom it can ultimately give us.

If you control your mind, you have controlled everything. Then there is nothing in the world to bind you. pg 6

Hmm! Something to think about.

All is well. 

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True ( February, 2026) Mind as Vibration: The Root of Suffering and the Path to Freedom. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmzjso9T92M&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1

Swami Satchidananda (2011) The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Integral Yoga Publications

 

In But Not Of

 

Our normal waking consciousness...is but one special type of consciousness, whilst all about it, parted from it by the flimsiest of screens, their lies potential forms of consciousness entirely different. We might go through life without expecting their existence; but apply the requisite stimulus and at a touch they are all there in all there completeness...No account of the universe in its totality can be final which leaves these other forms of consciousness quite disregarded. 

William James

James was a philosopher and a psychologist (we do not see that combination  much anymore...do we? One field leads to science ...the other to something else). He was the first educator in America to offer a psychology course. I would have loved being in one of his classes. 

He was a thinker that explored the non-physical, quanta, consciousness, as well as the human mind. 

Ram Dass, in the below linked podcast, brough this human and his words back to me in his discussion of the interplay between who we are in separate physical and psychological forms and who we are in universal consciousness.  Reminding us that we need to find peace and harmony in the reality that we are in this world but not of it.

The objective is not to deny your uniqueness or your separateness, [but to also honor your unity.]

[Karma yoga is all about] honoring what is...do your dharma...play your part...do your best

See any situation on more than one plane simultaneously

We can partake in the route of karma yoga by saying, "Whatever the givings of my life, may they  become the route of my liberation." 

We need to not only accept the situations in our lives, the what-is-ness of it, but to honor it for its ability to take us to the dimension we often do not see or acknowledge behind the "flimsiest of veils" 

It is all grist for the mill. You use it all...

Then he reminds us of the fact that we are souls here to evolve in this Earth school ...using the situations we have been given or find ourselves in as part of the lesson plan.

The life experiences of your incarnation are your curriculum

Imagine getting free by living life

And what does being free mean?

Being free means not having aversion or attraction [to what is.]

Karma yoga, he explains, will help us to honor this incarnation...and allow us into who we are as physical, psychological beings as well as spiritual.

If you have a perspective that you are not just this physical, psychological enitity...[you will] want to simultaneously live in your unitive nature and in your separateness. 

We can be fully present with "the heart breaking"  and at the same time hear the wisdom part saying, "Ah...so" ....which allows for change and metamorphosis

We need to allow the human heart to feel its pain while we cultivate the part that is not caught up in the human drama.

Sigh! I want that.  What about you?

Ram Dass/ Be Here Now Network(February, 2026) Ram Dass on Cultivating a Spiritual Perspective. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5emps9sT1FI

Beyond Words

 God in form is God deformed; God defined is God confined.

Ram Dass

I seen this in some of my other writing and felt compelled to put it here.  What is meant by this statement?  When we try to place this "what -is-ness" of God into a form, be it an image, a concept, a dogma, a name...we deform what God is.  When we try ton define or explain what God is we confine this infinite everything into a finite dogma. (Here I am using the word God to make a point lol) God is nameless, formless, description less. God is beyond words.

Hmm!

All is well.

Passion and Samskaras

 Human Life is full of the play of samskaras-tendencies developed by repeated actions.

Vinoba Bhave

Passion is that energy -the Divine  energy that underneath [the samskaras]- is pure love, pure beauty, pure Spirit, pure God.

Michael A. Singer

You really seem to feel "up" when you teach or write. These things fill you with passion, I suppose.

No, not really.  They just help me to open to the passion that is already inside. 

What do you mean? They are not your purpose or Life's work? 

No. They  just help me to fulfill my Life's work. 

What is your life's work, then? 

Releasing the blockages within me that hold the Shakti down

Huh?  What the heck is Shakti, crazy woo-woo lady?

Shakti is the divine energy within all of us.  It is that love, peace, joy, bliss, enthusiasm we feel at certain times and erroneously attribute to the person beside us, the thing we just baught, the goal we just met, or this experience we are having where everything just seems to be perfect. We often mistakenly assume that feeling came from something we did or have....or that it is coming from outside.

Isn't it?

No...Passion is that energy -the Divine  energy that underneath [the samskaras]- is pure love, pure beauty, pure Spirit, pure God .

So, if it is inside us, why do we not feel passion all the time?  Why are so many of us miserable and always striving for a bit of peace and comfort, let alone even dreaming about that joy and bliss stuff, passion entails?

Everything is about the energy flow...

And  most of us have blocked that flow so we seldom feel it lifting us up. We have created these blockages over the flow by clinging to the emotional energy of expereinces we want to repeat and closing up to and resisting the emotional energy we decided we do not want to repeat.  Instead of just letting the energy of Life as it unfolds pass through us...we grab and cling to that which we desire, and close up and push away that which we don't.  When we push away we push down below conscious awareness.  We stuff down on top of this energy flow...blocking it. 

How does that impact our ability to live passionate lives?

Well ...first of all we are going to be very, very senstive to Life based on what we stored inside.  If it was painful, as most samskara origins are, we are going to do what we can to avoid that trigger. And that  will constantly get triggered. It will take so much of our life energy and focus to avoid the resurfacing of the pain that our attention will be dragged down to the samskara level and away from what "could be if we were free" level.   Life will become a struggle. We will suffer

Not everyone suffers. When things work out for us we are happy. What do you have to say about that?

That is a conditional form of happiness and there is so much more of this energy to experience. Since the energy originates inside not outside...as long as you look outward for your fulfillment and passion, you will not find it, or, at the very least, you will not experience it for long. Shakti...needs to be expressed in one way or another.

Sometimes, you will partake in an activity (like writing or teaching does for this human I call "me") that opens the flow up enough to come through in trickles and that feels amazing...We may call that passion and attribute it to whatever we are doing or what is happening "out there". We may seek more and more of that activity or experience...but the feeling we get from our outward  achievments won't last.

Why?

As long as the chunk of blockage is still there ...inside...we will close up again.  Besides what we are experiencing in those moments is just a fraction of what we could be feeling when that samskara is no longer there to block Shakti's full expression.

So what happens if we just leave the blockages there?

Well it will diminish the quality of our Life expereince, stifle what the Divine is here to experience through,  and it is also dangerous.

Dangerous? How?

Blocked energy is dangerous.  The energy always wants to let go. 

The energy is powerful and craves expression. It needs to flow but when it cannot get through our blockages, it circles and builds up a turbulent force on the other side. Sometimes that turbulent energy can push through taking some of the contamination and debris of the painful samskara with it. We, then, may have a nasty emotional reaction that may be followed by a physical one. We may hurt others or ourselves. We see its destructive, held back force, in rage and violence or self-harm.

So what do we do to  prevent these explosive reactions and to experience the joyful side of passion? 

Simple. Shakti needs to be released....to be free to express Itself.  The passion is within you...it is unconditional...free it (somewhat paraphrased)

You have to deal with the energy or else the energy will deal with you.

We need to be willing to let the energy come up without resisting it and pushing it back down. We then need to transmute it...let it go...offer it up to God. We need to make our  Life purpose about freeing this energy,  removing blockages so this passion can flow. We do that not only for these humans we are, but for each other, for Life, and for God. 

All is well.

Michael Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True ( January, 2026) Spirituality Beyond Rules: Transmuting Passion into Divine Flow. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RszOb0bH9g8&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=11&t=1237s