Making the Most of The Precious Morning?

 It's not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste alot of it.

Seneca

I have been watching myself, as this human with a lot of remaining ego still attached, proceed through morning rituals.  I find myself asking, "Why am I doing what I am doing? Is this the best use of time and who is it serving?  What changes could be made to honor the morning and the Higher Part of Self?"

What am I doing and why?

Well I wake up and do a brief meditation and a bit of kriya. I say hello to whatever beings are in my vicinity...whether they be  human or animal.  There are pets around in every place I find myself.and I appreciate the presence of all.  Animals seem to recognize that in me, and settle around this human as you will see by many of my videos. I get a coffee and come here.  

This is where the questions arise: I automatically find myself going through what was already written and read on my stats page, or viewing videos I put up that were recently watched.  It is very much a mind numbing thing I do, feeding this part of me that wants to be soothed and distracted.  It is also, in many ways, an ego-doing.  Ego automatically checks for signs it is being validated as special, or at least not rejected. (Crazy...that samskara is definitely loosening its hold on me but it is still there.) Regardless of why, I will spend hours just reading what was written or watching what was viewed...constructively analyzing it from the perspective of reader/viewer.  

Best use of time?

When I do this, I am not writing or creating new stuff.  I am not honoring that compulsion I have to do so.  I am basically numbing and distracting like a person would do when they sit down with their coffee to read or watch the news. The morning flashes by, and I may not have one word written. If I could spend just an hour doing this...that would be fine...but hours seem to pass. I have this notion that most of the morning should be spent creating new stuff and getting it out there...not numbing with the old stuff.  It is becoming a habit I am questioning. 

At the same time, I realize I may be the reader all this was intended for?  Maybe I feel compelled to write what I write so this human, more than anyone else, learns from the secrets the Higher Self is sharing. It is a time of learning for me.  I get what is being shared in ways I maybe never got it when I first put it down. Weird? 

So, who is ithis morning habit serving- higher Self or lower self?

I don't know.  I really don't. Both maybe.

But I don't like when my morning slips by and I have yet to accomplish anything like a word count or a video.  Is that the  ego who needs to check things off a to-do list needing that, or higher Self? I don't know.  I will need to think about that. 

What changes could be made?

Maybe I could try limiting the review to one hour and the writing of a blog entry to the same...2 hours on the blog.  And then maybe I could add 2 videos...an answer to a question and either a Desk Break Yoga Practice or a Meditation. Hmm?

Then, maybe I could add a morning walk through the woods or something that takes me away from this habitual tendency...just to test it out.  Maybe the walk should come first...before coffee...before settling here. Hmm!

Something worth trying.

All is well