The personality is an entrenched ego programming, based on a biological and psychosocial need to belong. We create this personality for protection purposes and then we identify with this self concept, falsely believing it is who we are...
Me
Hmmm! That is the definition of personality I came up with as I was listening to Michael Singer's podcast today. It is a definition that has been brewing inside me for a while now, intensified recently by recognition of this human's lingering concern about what others might think of her. I could suddenly see so clearly how we build up these protective ego layers, attempt to become what others expect us to become, and do what we can to maintain our place in the pack. We create an ever-changing concept of self that we call "me".
What is the problem with this personality then?
There is no self concept you can pick that works for everyone.
Our desire is to create an image that will be okay for everyone, that will not hurt them, annoy them, displease them or make them say, "Strike Three! You're out!!!" How realistic is that? Everyone is loaded with their own samskaras always on the verge of being triggered by things that we cannot always be aware of or control. Things about us are bound to bother others in some way. We cannot please everyone!
It is not fun to live from this ego personality. Sure, there are times when everything we seem to do seems pleasing to others and we feel up. Even times when we surprisingly are extra pleasing to others and we feel elated! But it is impossible to maintain that level of successful people-pleasing functioning for ever. Things we do, say, think, believe...how we look, sound, smell...how we appear as these personalities...is going to be off putting to some at times. That's a given. We can not please everybody all of the time.
We know that, and we live in fear of the moment we do not please someone, don't we? We are always hypervigilant, wondering and worrying about when the others who seem pleased with us now are going to see beyond the imposter costumes we tend to wear, and then reject us.
So, how do we get beyond this ego conundrum?
According to Michael Singer, we simply notice the ego in action...be aware of its misguided attempts at protecting us from expulsion. Noticing, however, doesn't mean resisting.
Don't shut her up, don't push her down, just nod.
I try to be honest with myself and others when I notice my ego personality at work and my people pleasing tendencies. I try to call it out by saying, "Oh...there I go again, worrying about what others might think. Hmm! "
I observe the human tendency to want the good opinion of others. From a distance, I explore it and look deeply into it. I allow it. I do not shut it up. I don't push the samskaras back down. I notice them and allow them and all those old core beliefs to emerge. give them a nod and continue observing it all from a distance. This tendency is definitely beginning to wear away.
Once I catch the ego personality in action I say something to the effect
...just stuff that got caught...I can let go now.
I go back to my inner work of allowing samskaras to be released. This "work" involves allowing for the slow digging away of layer after layer of personality, usually by life. In this case, every time, I do not match the desires or expectations of others, I know it is okay. This lack of approval or down right rejection is good for me. It helps with the inner work. I remind myself of the words Singer shares in the podcast
You've taken on the greatest challenge...the liberation of the soul...
I get back to work.
All is well.
Michael Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True ( May 8, 2026) The Illusion of Self: Breaking Free From ego. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GU1sVkx_pII&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1
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