Do Not worry About Your Life

 

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air;

 they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not

 much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[a]?

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6: 24-36 NIV

I looked for these words this morning when I woke up the same way I have been waking up every morning now for the last week...with tears in my eyes and a knot in my gut.  I am thankful for the tears whenever they come and for whatever reason they come...I am...I see how cleansing and healing they are.  The worry, however, is not so helpful. :) Thus me seeking out those exact words to put here as a reminder to me, and to you , and to anyone who might stumble onto this page: There is no need to worry. God has your back!

Why the dramatic introduction, then, crazy lady? What tale of woe are you going to dump on us now? 

I  do not want to dump anything on anyone...and I do not want to define the upcoming challenge as a "tale of woe". Oh, I do still have an ego and it is still making the most of this situation to wrack up pity points, or  points earned for having the most challenges on a given day.  It still cries out "Poor me! Why does this always happen to me?" as it sneakily seeks pity from others...or at least validation from others to support this idea of how challenging "My life" is. Yeah, ego is still very much around  and sees this as an opportunity to be seen and heard.  "Hey, if we can't have the rewards of a smooth and easy life ...maybe we can win the life challenge game."  Crap! That ego is crazy making :) 

I have evolved enough to  know that self-pitying ego is not who I am and that Life cannot be narrowed down into something that belongs to "me".  Who I am wants this experience to be seen as an opportunity for learning and growth...not as another random punishment from above.  I see ego...I hear it...I watch what it does and how "I" let it sometimes...but I keep bringing myself back to the truth...that I do not have to listen to it, or follow its council. So, beyond ego's twisted intention...my deeper intention for coming here is to share the learning this human I call "me" is learning, to share the growing I get to do beyond "me" through this experience. I truly want to view this as an opportunity, not as a problem.

I am also still exploring this question, "Are the happenings in our life just random occurrances or are they following some pattern of intention? Am I intending these occurrances somehow with a very powerful mind that is stuck on an ingrained pattern of negativity or  on those limiting beliefs in the samskara layer of my psyche ?" 

The answer to these questions will determine how I approach this life challenge.  That is where the learning and growing will come from...to answer these through felt experience rather than conceptualization. If I come to see that Life is completely impersonal and  simply a random unfolding of events...I would focus my time and energy  on learning to "accept" and "make peace" with what is.  If, however, I see the unfolding of phenomenon being directly related to conscious intent, I would put more time and energy into  removing the negative from my intention.  Of course, it is our human mission to do all of these things, isn't it?  To see the powerful nature of consciousness which we are an emanation of...to allow Life to do what Life does through us, finding peace no matter what it offer us...while at the same time doing what we can to vibrate at a higher level as we seek to match that which is the essence of who we are. It all comes down to consciousness, doesn't it?

What the heck are you talking about? What is this big life drama your consciousness wants you  to learn and grow from?

As of the 11th I will be homeless...well, I will no longer have a home.  I guess the new politically correct term used these days, to avoid stigma, is "unhoused" or I can say, "I will be experiencing homelessness".  These are much better terms to use ...removing defeating stigma and judgement from a being due to their life situation, isn't it?  It also supports the remembrance that all life situations are temporary, they can change in a minute . A person can have a home one day and the next day be on the street...and vice versa. We cannot define people by whether or not they own a house, can we? (Answering that question, I believe, is a part of the learning that is leading me in this direction.)

Anyway, D.'s son and his dog, recently displaced, are moving in...and in this tiny space there is definitely not room for three of us. (He is 6 foot 4 and 250 plus pounds). There are other reasons besides the physicality of his presence that have led me to make this decision...and yes, it is my decision.  No one is forcing me out.. I just know realistically that the three of us can not live together. I made my perspective very  clear before the decision was made, and it was made knowing that. I do not blame D.  I would likely have made the same decision if it was my child.

Regardless, here I am...about to be "unhoused".  That does sound so much better, doesn't it?  Of course, that doesn't mean I will be on the streets, though it could lol...I have no idea what is up ahead in my future. Unlike so many people who find themselves unhoused, I have emergency, short term options. I have the option of sleeping on a couch at my son's...and yes, I made the choice that that house remains my son's or I could stay in the spare room, possibly, at my daughter's for at least three weeks at a time...possibly...all possibly because I have not told my children yet...with the wedding coming up in a couple of weeks, it is not a good time. I have other kind beings offering me a spot to crash, which I cannot accept but I do appreciate. At least I know I won't be displaced right  onto the streets, like so many are. That brings a certain ease.

I have no idea about  the intermediate or long term future.  Facing where I am financially is proving to be very difficult. When I am forced to face how little I have material wise it is both a shock and it is also very, embarrassing ( like I said that part of my ego is still around).  I have a very low monthly income from pension...definitely not enough to rent a place, let alone sustain myself.  ..I have no back up...I had to cash in all my savings and investments when I had to go off work off and on between 2011-2019...let's say it this way so I do not slip into that victim mentality again...when I chose to go off work to support my health...without disability insurance. (Oh man that was a hard time, and its consequences are coming back to haunt me now)...and on top of that I incurred so much debt just trying to keep a roof over my children's heads for years that I have yet to pay back.  I was able to pay back some because of a stupid choice I made out of desperation ...made just so I could pay back some people...but of course not enough and I had to keep incurring more.  .Every decision I made did not factor "what will happen to this "me" in the future " into the equation.  So, the little I do bring in every month...is technically not mine...I owe it all.  I definitely , and in all honesty, own nothing of material value. I am in great debt for someone who owns nothing. I have no vehicle anymore (so I can't live in that :))

So, I am not venturing out into this new independent life style as a woman in her sixties on a solid foundation, am I? My past is catching up with me. I find myself trying desperately to forgive myself for going off work when I did...for not trying harder, for not pushing myself harder. It was just so hard to cope with feeling so crappy and working and raising children on my own...I chose health and well being over future security, even without support.  It seemed like the "higher good" choice at the time.  It really did. I thought I was doing it mostly for my kids...but man they struggled anyway...it didn't seem to do much good. So, here this human I call "me" is...

I love when the tears come up as I ponder this...so many remaining samskaras from that time need to be washed away so badly ...I want them all gone.  So, if I can free myself of all that residual junk and trauma and still end up on the street...it will be worth it. Being purified and open would be worth it.  So, I wonder if that is why this  is all happening. 

I am also reminding myself instead of focusing on this "human" who is now in survival mode... to remember the higher purpose for being here: "to seek you first the Kingdom and His righteousness" which I see as meaning...seek first what is really important: God, connection to who we really are,, maintaining an open, compassionate, and loving heart,  serving Life rather than asking Life to serve us, building trust in the Ananda layer of our beingness, the Higher Self, the omnipresent, omniscient, and omnipotent forces that cannot necessarily be seen or understood by our limited nervous systems.  Instead of worrying about how I am going to get a house of my own, get food, drink or clothes that I can simply trust that these things will be taken care of if I use this time and challenge to go deeper. This can be a time of great spiritual growth.  Maybe, I can look at it like I am entering "the forest dwelling" mode as the Buddha did, or entering a Himalayan cave like the rishis did... One of my possible options is inhabiting an old abandoned camp that belongs to a family member...in the woods.  There is no Waldon's Pond but maybe I could use that time for exploring Life and writing more deeply.  I don't know. I do not want to romanticize this very challenging situation that too many humans and other beings experience in a lifetime.but I do need to explore teh greater meaning for it as I refuse to let it bring me down .  I just know that I cannot let it bring me down.Hmm!  I don't know.  

We will see how things turn out.  Until the next time, let's do our best to remember that God has our back. Our needs will get met, even at those times when it might not seem that way.

All is well. 

Facing an Opportunity

 Do not be afraid of the unknown.  Change is not a threat, it is an opportunity.

Unknown

I have been away from this cathartic and somewhat strange medium where I come to remove the veil of "me'' that is hiding  Self. "Me" has been busy dealing with another very big and life-changing event that is pending. This change is a little "earth -shattering" for the "me" but not for the Self.  I will be back when I can share more as Self.

All is well.

Not an Ordinary Project

 

When you are inspired by some great purpose,

some extraordinary project,

all your thoughts break their ground.

Your mind transcends limitations,

your consciousness expands in every direction,

and you find yourself in a new,

great and wonderful world.

Patanjali

I  don't know about you, but I would love to find myself in a new and wonderful world because I was inspired by some great purpose.  I would love to have an extraordinary project to lose my 'self' in. sometimes, I think this studying what I study, this writing what I write here and elsewhere, the bit of speaking I do...might just be an extraordinary project. It is certainly not "ordinary" lol. I guess, the more I learn and share through this medium...the more my thoughts break their ground and my mind is transcended. While I am doing it, I guess, I am in a great and wonderful place.  Hmm!

All is well

Getting Beyond the Fifth Force: Will

 

Letting go of yourself means being  God dancing with creation.

Michael A. Singer

Besides electromagnetism, gravity, weak nuclear force, and strong nuclear force, Michael Singer tells us there is another energy: Will/ volition/intention. It is the fifth force, the inside force. Will is a force that can oppose anything, a force with great power that we often, unknowingly, use against ourselves in the creation of samskaras.

To understand this force and how it operates inside the human form, like any of the other forces of science, we need to understand energy. 

Everything in this world has its nature...its certain essence at the foundation of what it is. This nature or essence is energy, and all energy is meant to flow through.  The energy of all things that unfold before the human form is meant to be experienced by the Observer. It is supposed to come into the body and mind , be felt, and then released.  The energy of the phenomenon which is unfolding in front of us at any given minute  is meant to come in through our senses so that which is at the center of who we really are...Consciousness or Awareness... can experience it. That is what the body is for...it a sensing vehicle that allows the awareness to travel around this playground called Earth  in...while it experiences it all through us. Once fully experienced and processed, the energy is meant to flow  right through, be released. So, this is the purpose of our human lives: to be  a spacesuit  for consciousness to explore this world with. ...to be an open conduit for energy to pour through

So, what exactly is the body, as a spacesuit, able to take in to allow for this experience?

It is the energy of that thing...the essence of it that is of upmost importance to the felt experience of living. We obviously do not take in the physicality of an experience. The body takes in its vibrating energy in the form of sound waves and then the mind interprets it. When listening to someone play the piano, the pianist or piano obviously do not come into our bodies. The vibration of the music the pianist is playing on the piano enters through the sense organs of hearing. The mind then interprets its nature...forming a sensation of pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral...creating an experience. All experience  is energy and energy is everything. The mind, however, where the powerful force of Will is created...has the power to oppose this energy. And that is where the problems come in.

How should it be in an ideal human experience of living?

All experiences could be beautiful in neutrality. The vibration of music could be beautiful...be it a harsh cacophony of clanging, uncontrolled cords...or a soft soothing masterpiece... if mind didn't judge it and the force of Will didn't always do Mind's bidding based on these judgements. 

What gets in the way of us having these open experiences?

Will.  Mind judges, especially if it is riddled with samskaras as most personal minds are, the energy that comes in from events, other people, things, emotions, thoughts, and circumstances as "good or bad, right or wrong", or something that "should be or shouldn't be". Then Will might be ordered to oppose the natural nature of that energy trying to flow through, blocking it from doing so, creating samskaras. The energy may not pass through because Will got in the way.

So, what is wrong if energy of experience doesn't pass through?

All energy, including the energy of emotion (energy in motion) is meant to move through.  That is the nature of energy. Think of electricity, the powerful first force understood by science. Electricity is meant to continuously move through things. It is a current. If someone gets electrocuted, there is an entrance wound and hopefully an exit wound in the body, showing how that charge not only entered but how it has moved through and out.  Otherwise, there is a problem.  When that charge that is meant to flow through doesn't exit but gets trapped inside the body, it will continue to move looking for a way out doing all types of internal damage, creating a mess inside. When the energy of life experience doesn't pass through us, and gets trapped or stored inside the body and mind, it does damage and it creates a mess. 

What if the Mind judged the experience as pleasant, does it still create a mess?

Yes. Let's go back to the music scenario. Once mind makes an interpretation that the music was very pleasant, and then makes the decision to accept and allow, or even cling to that sound because it is so soothing to the samskara loaded personality, it opens us enough so a bit of Chit Shakti ...our joyful, peaceful, blissful and love-filled eternal, internal energy from within, can flow through. We have a pleasant experience as we listen to the music.  We wrongly attribute the cause of that experience to be originating solely from a place "out there"...the piano player at the piano. In reality, the cause of the pleasant experience is that energy is allowed to do what it is inclined to do...move freely.  We have the energy of the music vibration entering and moving through the body without too much resistance, and we have the energy of shakti from within  able to finally move through us too.  We have opened just enough for some of that Shakti to flow through, even if it is only a trickle. That feels good! Now, if the mind judged this experience as really, really pleasant and told Will it was something it wanted to keep experiencing, Will will do its thing.  It will oppose the outward flow of this energy.  It will push it back down into the body and subconscious mind. We hold onto the energy and we create a samskara...an impression, a pattern of behaving from now on. Hmm? We create an attachment to this experience we judged as pleasant,  desire, a craving, a preference for more and we actively seek things that will bring  similar vibrations into our environment or vibrations  that will remind us of or stimulate that  good feeling which we stored inside. We will keep  looking for the experience we had when those vibrating chords of music first entered our experience. Through Will, the omnipresent, omniscient, and omnipresent power of Our Consciousness will be narrowed down to an outside search to fulfill personal mind's request, "I need more of that." We have built a samskara, an impression and a pattern of behaving. This tendency is going to be one of "desire" which the Buddha Himself said was the cause of suffering. This never ending seeking to quench a thirst that will never be quenched by anything out there, will definitely create some problems inside. 

What happens when the mind judges it as unpleasant?

When the mind judges something as undesirable, it may resist it, creating an even bigger mess inside. . . Now if the mind interprets the clanging cacophony of sound as very unpleasant...unpleasant to the point it says "I can't handle this!  And I don't want anymore of this stuff coming in!" Will will do what it does. It will attempt to resist that vibration from coming in and go through the motions of doing so.  It will stand on guard and close the heart to that vibration.  Of course, if you already heard the music, no matter how much you put your hands over your ears, how much you look away, avoid, deny, numb... what happened has already happened. There is no changing that reality.  The vibration is already inside you.  Will will then push that experience down below the level of conscious awareness, so we don't have to deal with it, through a process of suppression and repression. We will not fully experience it. We formed another samskara to add to all the others. That charge of energy has entered but it didn't leave.  There is no exit wound...and therefore it is circling inside looking for a way out.  The Mind will then direct Will to do whatever it can to protect us from the resurfacing of this vibrating energy. It will look outwards determining how it will keep us away from all potential triggers. It will focus inward on these samskaras and do whatever it can to keep them down.  That isn't fun.  And as long as we are closed to what might trigger us out there, we have closed the flow of Shakti from within.  We have created tight little lives. Energy is moving creating turmoil but it is not flowing through. It is making a mess inside.

Sigh! So, what do we do?.....

We recognize what the mind tends to do and we work on countering those tendencies. We use this amazing power of Will to release and relax. We stop using it for resisting Life energy and holding it down. We practice staying open and not closing to all Life offers us...so this Shakti can do what it is meant to do, so the energy of Life experience can do what it is meant to do- flow through us! 

Hmm! When we do that, when we let go of what is in the way, we will simply be  God dancing with creation again.  

All is well.  

Michael singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True. (August 27, 2026) Exploring the Nature of Will. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5zV7yW9I68&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1

The Dignity of Writing for the Sake of Writing

 

Writing for the sake of writing, writing that draws its credibility from its very existence, is a foreign idea to most Americans. ...Credibility lies in the act of writing.  That is where the dignity is.

Julia Cameron

I often refer to poetry as soul speak...it is that which emerges from the soul, and is carried to other souls.  One soul speaks to another soul through poetry. It also speaks to the soul of the person transcribing that message. That is often the case for me.  When a poem comes through me...it may not mean anything to anyone else...but there is usually a message in it, for this human I call "me",  to learn from.  Poetry is reminding me that I am the higher being meant for that message. It is pretty cool.

I was talking to someone about writing yesterday...about how this pure desire to write simply to write  sometimes gets tangled up in ego's desire to receive the "fruits of action" for my writing.  My writing doesn't seem to be getting anywhere, reaching anyone, certainly not serving this ego...so why do I write? I stressed to this person that I just want to write for the sake of writing...and I don't really know why. 

So, this morning I came here with that intention in mind and I reviewed what was read in the last 24 hours.  What came up? 

This:

Message in a Bottle 

 

Dripping with my truth, 

the pen bleeds a message 

onto barren  paper.

In a cursive awkwardly mastered, 

loops and twists form the first 

 inadequate words: "Dear Reader..."

 

I know not who this reader is 

that I write this message for....

It matters not, I guess

 to the being doing the dictating,

to the being in the depths of me

who commands in a voice 

so small but demanding,

"Write! Just write!" 

Lost in the call, 

an insignificant  branch 

that bears no fruit at its tips,

I pour out my life learning, 

my pain and my sorrow,

my joy and my awe.

I try to describe

all the still and moving images 

my mind has snapped 

and frozen in time over 

the wake of many fading decades.

I write until my hand is tired 

and the loops and twists, 

despite their longing to be eloquent, 

 become nothing but 

exhausted broken symbols 

that are difficult to decipher. 

I cannot help but sigh.

The message, I must trust, 

will transcend the scribbling in its clarity,

will extend beyond the page 

with little help from "me".

 

I sign a name 

heavy in its obscurity,

 before lifting the now inkless pen

from that which it so lovingly caressed 

only a moment before.

 

I then roll the paper, 

and this truth it carries, 

unceremoniously, 

into a tight little cylinder 

before awkwardly stuffing it

 into the narrow opening

 of the somewhat resistant glass bottle

I had chosen.

Sighing again,.. 

I seal the message 

into this container 

 in preparation 

for the  long, uncharted 

journey ahead.

 

Standing on the shoreline of eternity, 

I close my weary eyes. 

With breath sucked in, 

I swing my arm back, 

then forward, before

releasing with quiet reluctance, 

this ship or this casket-

whatever it will become-.

into the air.

My words 

are pulled up and away from my grasp, 

released into the ocean's waiting arms.

When I feel the cool splash 

of their departure on my satisfied skin, 

I know my job is done.

 

What happens now

to this message 

with those hastily scribbled words 

is out of my hands.

I may never know where 

it will end up. 

The waves of Life, 

not me, 

will decide its fate.

 

Maybe, 

its destiny will be 

forever entwined with the ocean's,

bobbing up and down 

with every crest and trough,

floating without purpose 

beneath eternity's endless skies.

 

Or maybe... 

it will be guided by fate's tide 

to some distant sandy shore  

where it will be pulled onto the beach 

to lay quietly, collecting  the suns rays,

glistening in the spectrum  

of its color, until it is noticed. 

 

Maybe ....

a passerby, 

attracted to the reflection of light 

coming from this 

well travelled glass container,

will bend to pick it up.

Maybe, the bottle will be unsealed  

by these same curious, 

serendipity -trusting fingers, 

and the paper pulled out.

 

Maybe....

what I have written 

will be read

and maybe ....

it will be received with openness and awe,

while the reader gains 

even just a speck of wisdom

from the life lessons 

I have painstakingly transcribed.

 

Or maybe...

the message will lay 

exactly where it has landed,

unnoticed and unread…forever.

And, with no eulogy or epitaph 

to lift it from insignificance,

be slowly buried 

beneath the wind blown sands 

it rests upon.

 

I do not know where 

this message in a bottle will end up

or if and how it may be received. 

That is not mine to know. 

I did what I was here to do,

I wrote and I let go.

I released  that which was never mine

back to the Source from whence it came.

The rest is not up to "me". 

© Dale-Lynn, May, 2023 (Reworked November 17, 2023)

All is well

Understanding the Language of Yoga

 

No man can know another's language without knowing the world in which that language lives.

Edward Sapir

There are some words in Yoga that I keep tripping over because I sometimes use them interchangeably and I am not sure I can.  Like Atman and Purusha? Shakti and Kundalini or Prana? 

So, this morning, wanting to clear this up I did what any good researcher would do...I asked  Google AI :)

Now, after clearing up that the terms come from different Hindu schools of thought, one dualistic and one nodualistic... AI makes this distinction between Atman and Purusha

It defines Purusha as the witness consciousness that observes all form and matter in a somewhat passive or detached way without being affected by any of it. It is like the cosmic spirit, what we might be referring to when we say "The Universe will provide". 

The Atman is like the "soul". It is the "individual spark of consciousness" residing in each living being that is almost identical to the universal consciousness or "Brahman."

So then I had to ask, "If Purusha is the "Universe" is it and Brahman the same thing? 

In some Hindu school of thought they are viewed as the same thing like in Vedanta but in others they are two distinct things. 

AI describes Brahman as being the infinite, unchanging, and all pervading [omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient] spirit of the universe. It is the source of all existence.  To me, from my western Judeo-Christian conditioning,  that is "God".  It goes on to say it is "Truth, Consciousness, and Bliss"  which is Sat Chit Ananda.

Okay, those of us who study yoga have all likley heard of "Sat Chit Ananda" but is it God/Brhaman or does it simply describe Brahman? Hmmm! That brings us to Nirguna Brahman, which is Brahman that one can not describe or attribute characteristics to and Saguna Brahman, which is Brahman that one can attribute characteristics to like truth, consciousness, and bliss. So, are these attributes of Brahman or Brahman? 

Confused yet? 

I am!  And I want to make a point. Like you may be, I am studying an ancient philosophy and wisdom that comes from a culture and language I don't completely understand, from a perspective of my own cultural and linguistic conditioning.  I am trying to take that language which represents that culture and translate it into a language that represents the culture I grew up in and was conditioned by. There are bound to be gaps in understanding. Both the words and the cultural perspectives are getting in the way of true understanding. No matter how I study or say I understand...I will likely never get the true understanding of yoga, not like a Hindu who grew up in India might.  

And those who translate the ancient scriptures and texts into English are doing so from their lingusitic and cultural perspective which is going to be limiting. 

How did Yogananda do what he did in America when he first came over, barely being able to speak English. Oh, and the culture shock must have been outstanding both for him and those who joined him.  How did he reach so many people? He packed the auditoriums he spoke in. 

That is, as he put it, because something beyond words, and body, and culture spoke for him and through him. Truth can go beyond language and cultural barriers  to reach people when the teacher is truly open and expressing Brahman, as he was.  Hmm!

What is that which poured through him into others?

Shakti? Kundalini? or Prana?

I kind of like the way AI distinguishes these three forces of energy.

Shakti is described as the absolute, primordial, universal energy or power that creates everything including that which is manifested, and that which is yet to be manifested. So Shakti is the big surpreme, divine force. Could we call it God's energy?

Prana is the portion of Shakti called the vital life force because it sustains the energy needed for the physical and subtle body to survive through breath. Prana, unlike Shakti, is finite...it needs to keep replenishing itself. In Chinese medicine it is called "Chi".

Kundalini, on the other hand, is the dormant spiritual energy that lays coiled around the base of the spine until awakening. It is often called "sleeping shakti." It is very powerful, as a filtered form of shakti, once awakened. 

So, there is a way to get beyond the cultural and linguistic barrier to understand yoga..and that is through the felt experience of it's energy. We can enhance our physical and energy bodies through practices that move, lift, replenish  the energy of  prana through Hatha, Pranayama, breath awareness, QiGong or Tai chi. We can awaken Kundalini through Kundalini Yoga, Kriya yoga (that was Yogananda's teachings) and other techniques.  And we can open up to Shakti through meditation, mindfulness, pratyhara (getting beyond the senses), dharna (single focused concentration), Dhyana (meditation) and if we are lucky Samadhi. 

Well, I was just curious about the distinction between a few words and this is what popped out. Go figure. 

All is well!

Sad Tale and The Beauty of the Boundless Heart

 If life is fair, and it will be, it will serve you with immeasurable beauties, joys, and pleasures- you will feel at times that you do not have the  capacity to take them in. You will. Our hearts are boundless. If life is fair, and it will be, it will bring you huge, merciless sorrows. Devastations of your boundless heart. I wish for you the grace to perservere and accept them all accross time, for that is the only way these things can be taken in.

Dan Weis

Been away for a few days looking after others' pets.  Amongst those pets was a litter of eight beautiful healthy puppies, and one that was barely surviving since birth: not growing, not developing, not moving, not latching.  The owners were syringe feeding "Tiny" ( they called her Tiny)  but whatever was going on with her was beyond what anyone could make right.  Mom, who suddenly stopped nursing early after three weeks, realized she could no longer care for her weakest pup...and though she will not let others near her puppies...she picked up this little one and brought it to my daughter for care. My daughter then called me in a panic not knowing what to do. I went down to help her feed the other puppies and to care for "Tiny".

The moment I picked her up in my hands, I knew she wasn't going to make the night...she was so underdeveloped.  At three weeks she still had the ears of a fetus. Her legs were contractured. Eyes were still sealed shut. But she was still a  beautiful little puppy with a lil puppy face and puppy breath and smell.  She was also a puppy that was dying. Her body was limp, her breathing shallow and labored.She could barely lift her little head.   When I first held her that afternoon, I knew she was already going through the dying process. We agreed  we had to keep her warm and safe and as comfortable as possible.  We took turns holding her next to our skin for the body heat and simply carried her around for hours and hours. We fed her...just in hope that maybe she would pull through. (The human mind is always wanting to "fix" things, isn't it?) There are no vets here on weekends, btw, nearest vet is an hour an a half away and it was obvious to the logical part of the mind there was nothing to be done but make her comfortable...so that is what made this a palliative situation intead of an emergency intervention.

 Mom who was not rejecting her puppy, just asking for help in keeping her alive (or comfortable), was beside herself.  Always running from her others to us when Tiny cried ( and she cried alot- the reality is that the dying process is painful). On each whimper, Mom would scamper over....sniff and lick her little one before returning to the litter. It was a back and forth marathon for her all night. 

Well, it was a stressful night. Trying to feed and ensure the well being of the other pups who had to be bottle fed too, trying to calm a Mom who knew her child was dying, and attempting to keep my own heart which was breaking in two every time the little pup cried  made it a tough and sleepless night. I sent my daughter to bed when I assumed  the time was getting close...(she vocalized she didn't want to see her die). And , I walked back and forth with the little one in my arms, next to my skin, rocking and soothing as much as I could. It was so very sad. I bawled and I bawled as I rocked the crying little thing. Then the pup's cries became a little more urgent and Mom's reaction a little more intense to the point she was howling and whimpering. So, I just prayed..."Thy Will , not my will be done...but could you please end the suffering here and now! " As soon, I mean as as soon, as I uttered that prayer...the pup took one more gulp of air and I knew it was her last.  She was gone.   

I showed her lifeless body to Mom, while she sniffed and licked and then turned her head away. I sat down on the floor beside her, holding her out for her to be able to see. Mom laid  with her head on my lap and she  slept for the first time in almost 24 hours.  I held the little body for hours.  I didn't want to put her down.

WTF crazy lady? Why are you relaying such a terrible tale.  No one wants to hear about puppies dying!

And it is true...amongst a slew of what seems to be Life's examples of unfairness , no one wants to hear about puppy's dying, do they? Things like that are not supposed to happen. Puppies are meant to be playful and joyful  and full of life so we can feel playful and joyful and alive around them.  They are not meant to be sick or to die! Sick and dying puppies  are bad, wrong, and shouldn't be. It is a cruelity, and unfairnes of Life we would rather not have to face. So we don't until we have to. 

Let's explore why it seemed so unfair:

Here there were eight big and healthy puppies running around and  amonsgt them, one so small and deformed she hadn't a chance.  Why is that?  Why didn't she get a chance to play and wrestle with her brothers and sisters?  Why did she have to suffer so?  Why do humans, like me, have to watch things suffer so?

Was it really unfair?

Or was it simply the way it was?  Maybe there was a meaning to that unfolding of events that went way beyond my level of human understanding? Is it unfair  just because I do not understand why things like that hapen?  Do I truly need to understand to make it fair?  Let's look at the statistical insignificance of this. Only one out of nine  suffered and died. The rest, well beyond the majority, are flourishing and alive.  This one little pup despite the odds against her doing so considering her state had three weeks on this planet. 

Did that little pup suffer to the extent of regretting being born? Was the short expanse of time Tiny had on this Earth worth it?  Was it worth the pain and struggle, to have the experience of living on earth even if it was only for a few weeks...of being in a litter of other breathing living things, loved and licked and warmed by a mother...then by some strange human? To hear what was heard, to smell what was smelt; to breathe air in and out of lungs? Was it not worth it?

Hmm! Suffering exists. For this human, it was certainly uncomfortable and heart breaking to watch a little puppy suffer and die and something I hope I never have to do again...but  it was beautiful too. 

Beautiful???

I look at it this way: If I were to have said "no" to this , I would have closed up and resisted this expereince of witnessing suffering...I would have closed up to an opportunity to serve Life in one of the most enriching ways.  If I would have denied the experience or reality of these Life truths...that all things regardless of age and cuteness will eventually die, that all things are of the nature to get sick; that we are are all going to grieve the loss of someone or something someday...I wouldn't have taken the action needed.  I wouldn't have embraced the fifth realization: that our actions are the only things we get to leave behind. I wouldn't have held her, rocked her, soothed her and Mom the way I did...improving the quality of those lives in some small way.  If I would have blocked the emotions this experience brought out of this human I call me...I wouldn't have experienced the true beauty of compassion and love that I felt...like I truly felt in those moments. I would not have had the experience of connection I had with the lil pup, with the mother dog...with all beings in those moments. It was so, so painful andso, so sad...but it was glorious and beautiful too to be that open! The crying was so cleansing...I released so much stuff with those tears.  I gave so much with those tears. I realized that these hearts we have, can handle suffering. We just need to learn to keep them open. 

So, yeah...I am going to share uncomfortable tales here in hope someday we will all be comfortable and open to all experiences Life hands us...so we can stay open to the point we get to experience just how boundless our hearts actually are.

All is well. 

Know That You Are

 The primary purpose is to embody consciousness...

Know not what you are; know that you are...the being of you.

(Somewhat paraphrased) Eckhart Tolle

When will we, as a species, ever get it that our purpose here is to simply be. When we are able to sit (or stand])quietly in a room (or a spot outside)alone for a good period of time without narrating, planning, deciding how to fix things etc...that could be an indication that we "got it"!

Above all else, know that you are!

All is well!

Eckhart Tolle (August 21, 2026)  Why Your Purpose is Simply to Wake Up. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOYstN1boDU&t=751s

Being Who You Are

 Let nothing weaken your conviction that you can be whatever you want to be. There is no one [or nothing] obstructing you uless it be yourself.

Parmahansa Yogananda 

Do you see yourself as the observer of this human you call "me" dealing with its "stuff"?

Do you see all the so called problems and challenges this human faces everyday as just "stuff" you are watching, from a distance, through your field of awareness, which you ultimately are, as it comes in and goes out, arising dissolving, cresting then troughing?

Do you experience the  emerging of unconditinal  peace, joy, bliss, and love , knowing that it is flowing from within and has little to do with what is going on ''out there"?

Do you look with joy out onto the world grateful and excited about the playgroud you get to play in? 

Do you approach this life without fear of when or how it will end; without fear of what you might lose or the pain you may have to experience while you rejoice in the possibility of getting to experience all this life can provide?

Do you openly accept and love everyone and everything exactly as it is?

Do you live by the mantra, "Thy will , not my will, be done"?

If so, you are an enlightened and purified being.  You are living life the way you are meant to.

If not,you have some work to do. I would strongly encourage you to embrace the inner work and enjoy the process of discovering who you are. 

All is well.

I Am That? Not Really

 The consciousness that emanates from the Source of all Life into this world is the essence of you, which you can sense here and now as your own essence that is God in you.  It emanates from the transcendent as light emanates from the sun...It is the  consciousness that is the Life giving principle behind all forms. so it is the essence of you. 

Eckhart Tolle

I have been practicing Yoganada's Hong-Saw meditation, a subtle Kriya practice with a big and not so subtle mantra (see below).  Hong-Saw in translation means  "I am That. I am He"  Now, in the non-dualistic culture that inspired this...the understanding of this proclaimation is probably much more clear and acceptable than it would be in our western and very dualsitic culture.  To proclaim, "I am God"in the context I grew up in, that many of you in the west might have grown up in,  would seem not only blasphemous but obviously untrue.  

Tolle in the below linked podcast explains how to interpret that mantra or prolaimation in a way that is easier for the dualsitic mind  to digest. He tells us to avoid making the mistake of assuming what this statement might mean...He says,

Don't make the mistake of  saying, "I am God"...it is not absolutely right...It would be like the ray of sun saying I am the sun.

We are not God...we are simply emanations of God. We are like the rays of sun being cast out by the sun to illuminate the world. That ray of light is a piece of the sun and more specifically, it offers a beam  (a form) the sun can express itself through. It is a tiny representative of the sun but not the entire sun. 

We are also like the tiny waves on the massive ocean...just its temporary crests and troughs. Sure, the wave is technically still a piece of the ocean but it isn't the whole ocean. It is a fleeting expression of that ocean. 

We, in body's with personalities, are not the sum total of God...we are just vessels for the light and wave of God to shine through, to pour through. Yes, we have God in us...but when in form we are only carriers of God. When the body dies and falls away...like the beam of light or the wave when it has expended itself ...we just fall back into the whole experience of God or consciousness.

This mantra, then, may be best understood by the western mind as meaning ''I am an expression of God. I am expressing or emanating Consciousness. God is the essence of this human I call "me".  Consciousness is the most important part of this being. It is why I am here. I am here to let God shine on this world, to ripple over this world. I am not God, I am of God."

In the beginning was the word[logos], and the word [logos] was with God, and the word [logos] was God.

John 1:1

All is well.

Eckhart Tolle (August, 2026) If the World Feels Like It is Falling Apart https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFdhFIWon1Q

Ending the Whirlwind for Freedom

 So when the mind will end, be broken to pieces entirely, without leaving any Samskara, we shall be entirely free, and until that time we are in bondage; until then the Atman[soul] is covered by the whirl of the mind, and imagines it is being taken from place to place. When the whirl falls down, the Atman finds that It is all-pervading. It can go where it likes, is entirely free, and is able to manufacture and number of minds or bodies It likes; but until then It can go only with the whirl. This freedom is the goal towards which we are all moving.

Vivekananda (2.5 Jnana Yoga, from The Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda

In this chapter Vivekananda more or less explains "Samsara", the freedom that comes when we as the "Atman" or soul never have to reincarnate anymore. This will happen when the mind falls completely to pieces because there is no more of these samskaras holding it together.

Say what crazy lady?

Vivekananda compares the prana Life force as a whirlwind-different curents of air coming from different directions and meeting at the  midpoint, drawing in dust and materials as they do so forming a body of matter. A whirlwind will drop that body in a place and then move to another place doing the same thing, creating another body. again and again until that which brings these forces together and holds them together no longer exists.  The forces of Prana will come together to form the body and mind out of matter and will move on until the body dies. When this body falls other materials will arise to make another body.  The force of prana that exists without the body can not travel  through this worldly experience without matter, but when the body falls mind stuff remains.  Mind stuff is the form of prana with the form of samskaras acting upon it. This is what keeps the whirlwind going.  When the force of prana is all spent, when the mind falls down and is broken to pieces entirely without leaving any samskaras, we will be entirely free.  We will be in bondage until then. 

Samskaras can be released in this life time...we can be free in this incarnation now.  We can stop the spinning and the whirling through a practice of purification.

Hmm! Something to think about!

all is well

Swami Vivekananda (n.d.) The Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda. Chapter 2.5 Jnana Yoga. Kindle Edition

Healing from the Big Samskaras through Self-Realization

 We dig a well and create a huge pit. The space in the pit or well was not created by us. We have just removed the dirt which was filling the space there. The space was there then and is also there now.  Similarily we have simply to throw out all the age long samksara(innate tendencies)which are inside us. When all of them have been given up, the Self shall shine alone. 

Ramana Maharshi

All is well!

From Finte to Infinite; From "me" to Purusha

 The only impediment to knowing who you are, to self realization, is mind.

Michael A. Singer

Note: I wasn't able to edit changes on this entry I wrote yesterday when I noted the need to do so...the Blogger Page  seemed to lose all its functioning? So, I cut and pasted the revised entry here as today's entry.

I listened to Michael A. Singer's podcast from a few days ago, this morning (a litle behind ...had my grandson for a few days) and I was connecting what he was saying to Pantajali's sutras and the teachings on Turiya and the other levels of consciousness, on Samskaras, and on what Patanjali called the Purusha orthe Self" or true witness consciousness (the Objective Observer as Krishnamurti coined it). Singer wasn't necessarily using these terms but I soon  realized he was speaking to what I am writing about in this book I am still working on.  As I was saying in the last few entries, I am struggling to to get through a chapter.  The chapter I am struggling to get through is "The Building of the Samskara-Protecting Personality".  This chapter is in reference to the personal mind. Now, that I am sharing that I have this knot in my gut, "Please don't tell me Michael Singer used the exact same chapter title in his last book" lol...I haven't read wisdom untethered yet...want to wait until after I finish writing this but it it is so uncanny how much he and  I seem to think alike simultaneously. I wouldn't be surprised if my chapter outline happens to be lined up exactly with his book.( I sound Grandiose, I know, but  there seems to be a certain synchronicity going on between us. I am not comparing myself to Michael Singer and what he has done for the world...by any means...nor am I copying him...we seem to be sharing the same ancient wisdom in our teachings...that's all and it gets a little "kooky" at times. ). Anyway, I am struggling with this chapter because it is really too long...covers so much and I know I need to break it down into a couple of chapters.  

Anyway...I digress. 

I see the attachment and identification to mind and body as being in the  way of us understanding and falling back into who we really are. True Self-realization involves, first of all, falling back into seeing ourselves as the Purusha (though Singer does ot use this term in his podcast). 

What is the Purusha according to Patanjali's sutras and other great teachings? 

 It is the objective observer, the pure unchanging witness consciousness. It is awareness. It is that which 'illumintes ' all things without getting all tangled up in them. The Purusha remains passive (experiences  with no need to do aything about what it is observing) and detached, in a very healthy way from that which it is observing. It is Self with a big "S". 

The Pursusha or True Self is infinite

How can we visualize the Purusha or Self according to Patanjali?

Imagine a circle. Inside the circle is space...outside the circle is space. The space within is considered finite, the space outside is considered infinite but in order to have finite you must have infinite. In order to be space inside the circle, there must be space outside the circle. It is all the same space. Just because the space that appears inside the circle appears to be trapped inside some man made circle ...it is still the same space that is outside.  It is infinite.  It is all just infinite space with this imaginary border around a part of it that we call "me"and outside that imaginary border we call me. This space is Purusha. This space is who we are. .

What stops us from falling back into it, from realizing that we are this infinite space?  

The personal mind, a section of the Universal Mind, that which creates the self concept of "me", the personality with its version of "my life" and all its drama....holds us back. It erroneously believes it  encapsulated a piece of infinite space  and called it "me"focusing on the finiteness of it.

Why do we narrow tha powerful Universal Mind down to a tiny personal function?

To protect ourselves. The personal mind, as I write in my book, is like a heavy protective dressing we wrap around our pain inducing samskaras, the things we stuffed and  stored because we felt we couldn't handle them, our wounded little me's, and it is through this bulky dressing that we then see and experience the world. The personal mind determines how we  receive the sensory data we pick up, perceive it, interpret it, and how we respond to it.  This becomes our "personality" all created and directed by "personal mind". 

So getting back to who we really are then in the wider perspective of mind...

... It is not about stopping the mind...mind has its purpose...[We need to ask]how did it get out of tune with that and what can I do aout it?

There is nothing wrong with mind...it is a phenomenal tool, it is the  greatest gift

The mind  can have an abstract, intellectual function...it can go beyond the senses

The senses and our reliance on the information they pick up are in the way of the mind sticking to its pure function...

What is mind? Nothing other than the way you use it. 

We do not experience the higher function of mind when we are identified with our bodies and personalities...seeing ourselves as them. As long as we are protecting our internal wounding, our impressions from being triggered and brought to the surface; as long as we are holding our old samskaras down and making new ones by resisting what Life offers ...we are stuck in personality and will not get beyond it. We need to release our samskaras.

How do we get free of samskaras?

We need to instead of resisting Life, learn to relax into it.  Instead of saying "I can't handle this" we start convincing ourselves that we can.

Sure, I can see that working for things like the weather or the slow drivers in front of us, but what about the bigger samskaras like trauma wounds?  

Singer answers...

Don't worry about the big things...it is all about you letting go of that stuff you think you can't handle...but you can't just rip it out

And Patanjali, in Satchidnanda's translation, teaches

  "You can't just go into the mind and erase the impressions. But they get themselves erased at one point. When?When you succeed in going within and realizing the peace and joy of your own self".  

So, we stuffed these samskaras and all the things we felt we couldn't handle down below our conscious awareness so we didn't have to deal with them. These samskaras are blocking the flow of shakti...that energy we are that orginates from the Purusha and Sat/Chit/ Ananda: Eternal/Consciousness/Bliss. We built an idea of me around these samskaras...we drew an imaginary circle around body and personality and called it a finite and separate me in a field of infinite space. We began grasping, clinging, and pushing away in an attempt to soothe and protect this "me" we come to believe we are, all the while denying who  we really are, failing to acknowledge the space our five senses cannot make sense of. Shakti, however, continues to do what it is meant to do...move up and out in beautiful waves of circling energy. It may be temporarily blocked by all we stuffed and stored on top of it...for now...but with Life's triggering effects and its own accumulation of energy it will eventually be strong enough to push itself up...pushing the samskaras we have being trying to hold down up into our conscious awareness again.  So, in the eman time Singer encourages us to avoid putting more stuff down on top of this shakti.  Patanjali encourages us to go into the space that we are and see that what we are looking for out there was always within. We are that peace and joy because we are the infinite space beyond the tiny  encapsulation of it that we call personal mind. 

 Singer also spoke of Turiya in his podacst, though he did not use that term.  He spoke of  the need to go beyond the senses, and then beyond the  personal mind to that highest level of mind, to the state of pure emptiness, where the Awareness experiences nothing.

Ultimately, no one can achieve eternal peace by doing something with the mind, which is a part of nature [sensory input]. That supreme joy can only be acquired when you rise above nature by complete surrender. ...which "I" can say "I and my Father are One"? The pure "I" wo is univolved and free from nature. That freedom comes once you surrender yourself completely to God. Union with God is the real yoga. The Sutra's of Patanjali page39 

Singer says to that, 

YOU ARE NOT A HUMAN BEING, YOU ARE GOD DESCENDED AND YOU GET TO PLAY

Hmm! So much to think about.... with the abstract, impersonal parts of our minds, from the field of infinite space that we are ,of course. :)

All is well.

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True ( August 13, 2026)  The Birth of the Personal Mind. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orm-aZp1o54&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=2

The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali as translated by Swami Satchidananda (2011) Intregal Yoga Publications.