The Wiser Self: Mediator Between Redemption and Shame

 

The first proof of a well ordered mind is to be able to pause and linger within itself.

Seneca

Yesterday, I did a Redeemer Ego thing to build another shell around this fragile and cracking psyche that is exposing what is beneath it. I took a couple of the videos I recently made related to very important questions I answered or attempted to answer (albeit, not perfectly), and upon someone's suggestion turned them into shorts. "You will get more hits if they weren't so long!" 

Motivated By Lower or Higher Self?

I told myself that following this advice would be the Higher Self thing.  It could potentially help me to reach more people and it would also allow me to expose (embarass) myself more in a vulnerable way which would help to remove some more of these "me" layers. Sure, there was an element of truth to that motivation. 

It was  sincere....but...I also, I discovered,  did it for the opposite of reasons.  I did it to build another protective layer of ego identity around this self that was being so exposed.  This self felt "yucky!" in this in between state of ego/no-ego. "Me", full of the shame experience, was teetering  towards the ego side, worrying she wasn't getting to where she was supposed to be in the worldly sense. She wasn't reaping the external benefits for her efforts and work. She was floundering and stuck without a worldly purpose or identity...not enjoying Life but waiting for Life to satisfy her again. 

Redeemer Ego stepped up to save the day,"Maybe, what you do here is worthy of an ego reward?  Maybe, if you get us seen and known in this way it will take us out of this physical stuckness you feel. More hits could lead to another identity. It could give you purpose, Or at least a lift. We could definitely use some type of distracting lift. Where we are now...because of your airy fairy desire to awaken...really sucks. I hate it here. Everything is so "blah". We are  fading away to nothingness.  Get us out in anyway you can!"

So, I remixed a few shorts and uploaded them.  Then I went back a couple of times to watch the numbers. They were much greater than the numbers I get on my regular videos. There was a bit ...a tiny little bit... of an adrenaline rush before I crashed back into reality. 

I could hear the wiser part of this human, "This is not going to change anything.  I need to release what is within me first...what is actually leading to this need for an ego lift or another layer of identity protection. Otherwise, I will just end up with another shell I have to remove!" 

Then, I found myself falling back into Shamer Ego's reprimanding nature. "Who do you think you are...putting us up there with all that 'airy fairy' nonsense? As if anyone is going to actually listen to what you have to say? The numbers mean nothing. People  may click because you just shoved us in their faces but the message won't register. Imagine what people you know will think of us for doing this. How embarassing is your arrogance! You are stuck in lack and mediocrity...get used to it! That is all you deserve. Come on!"

One extreme lead by arrogance, another extreme led by toxic shame with a wise voice in between. Hmm! 

In the Core of Many

That is what goes on in the core of many humans, not just me. That is why I share this embarrassing internal dialogue. We often do not notice it going on because we have so many protective layers, insulating the conscious mind from hearing its noisy banter.  When we  (or Life) begin to remove those outer layers, those surface identities, to crack open the psyche to see what is at its center, ...this is the noise that comes to our conscious awareness.  There is this battle between two nasty ego twins : Redeemer and Shamer, going on...between  a sense of false protective pride and the deep toxic shame that has been hiding within many of us for decades.  It may be shocking to realize this has been going on within us all our lives, greatly determining the types of experiences we are having.To see that these two may have been ruling our lives from the moment the personality was constructed, somewhere around seven years of age....and if we were good at building more protective shells, as many of us are...we would not have even noticed.  Until...that is...we begin to remove those shells for the purpose of getting to the Higher Self, to Who we really are.

Now, through this one insignificant experience, that this one out of 8.5 billion humans from one specy out of an infinite number of species, on this one tiny planet, in one tiny solar system, in one tiny galaxy out of a possible 3 trillion galaxies....  had with something as trivial as putting up a few shorts on Youtube....we can see there is also a wiser Self speaking, a wiser Self somehow caught between the banter of two personality layers...Redeemer on the outside, Shamer closer to the core.  

So, what does this wiser Self think of this human's action of putting up videos and the battle between the two egos that transpired becasue of it? "Sound and fury signifying nothing". The Self couldn't care less. Sees it all as silly nonsense and  human drama leading to unnecessary human suffering.

This wiser Self just observes the battle going on from a detached position and sees the silliness of it. It doesn't need or seek another layer of ego proetction to have to crack open, be it arrogant or toxically self punitive. It doesn't get caught up in a craving for more, nor does it see the benefit of 'giving up' and settling for less than what could be. It doesn't get inflated or deflated. It just is. It definitely doesn't take sides, neither Redeemer's or Shamer's. It sees them both as foolish and unnecessary parts of this human it is encapsulated by. So, it is tolerant of them but not swayed by either. 

Wise Self may say, infact, "Now, now guys. This is not going to get us anywhere. Redeemer, we do not need to be "built up" by anything the world may provide.  We can certainly enjoy it and participate in it but you do not need to get any bigger than you already are. Shamer, you are really hard on this human. And though, you can not seem to stop yourself, I am going to teach this human, not to ignore you and pretend you are not there...(she has put far too much time and energy into doing that already)...but I am going to teach her to listen to what I have to say over what either of you have to say. Once she is focused on my wisdom...then your voices will just naturally fade away. Sigh...now take some time a part and let me go about doing my job."  

We need to find the wise Self hidden in the layers of ego and let that Self do the talking and the guiding.

All is well

Is Life Meant to Be Difficult?

 

All life is suffering because I make it that way.

Michael A. Singer

I attempted to answer a question recently on a Youtube channel I attempt to answer questions on (albeit ver iperfectly). Is life meant to be difficult? 

I am thinking, on reflection, that I answered it in almost the same way Singer did.

Your real growth happens when what is happening inside or outsde of you is not tolerable

You are only having trouble with the things you are personally experiencing.

We need to ask: Why it is disturbing?

Pain is your friend.

Liking and not liking are psychological states. Experiencing is a reality state. 

Preference comes first, the desire to make it happen comes second.

To end suffering, end preference.

It is not a matter of renouncing a preference, it is a matter of getting to the root of that preference and understanding why you are preferring this or that...

Have to be willing to let go of those impressions (samskaras)

Surrender the part of you that would have resisted.

All is well.

Michael A. Singer (a 202) Stop Struggling to Fix the Outside: Clear the Inside.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGk6LikxUEc&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1&t=1473s

Open Heart? Open _ind?

 

The nat_ral state of _ _or heart is open and f_ll ...of _o_ and love and wants to express it. 

_ichael Singer

Too often, however, o_r hearts get closed b_ life circ_ _stance. We spend o_r lives, then,  _sing the _ind to _ake the heart feel better. _ind is alwa_s tr_ing to appease the h_rting heart.

The root of the _ind is in the heart....b_t that is not where we live.  We live lost in the _ind.

With a dedicated practice of learning to let go...

_o_ will reach the point where the heart is as clear as the_ ind.

All is well

_ichael A. Singer ( _a_, 202_) The Dance Between Heart and _ind. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPF2E554EQo&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1

Extraordinar_ Pro_ect?

 When _o_ are inspired b_ so_e great p_rpose, so_e extraordinar_ pro_ect, all _o_r tho_ghts break their bonds. _o_r  _ind transcends li_itations, _o_r conscio_sness expands in ever_ direction, and _o_ find _o_rself in a new, great and wonderf_l world. Dor_ant forces, fac_lities, and talents beco_e alive, and _o_ discover _o_rself to be a greater person b_ far than_o_ ever drea_ed _o_rself to be.

Patan_ali

Keys are not working consistently again...another strike as I continue to strike. Hmm! Speaking of consistency, I see that this blog is being read by one or two consistent readers. Thank you for going through the work of getting to this site.  I know it isn't easy. Some of the readers I used to have tell me they no longer have easy access to it...that even though they subscribed at one time, they no longer have the entries coming up on their email etc. When the_ do a Google search, the_ cannot find it. It is i_possible to co_ _ent or s_bscribe when the_ do _anage to get in. I know that to be tr_e beca_se it still says I have 0 followers even tho_gh there were ti_es I know I had _an_.   I am being cut off and isolated for some reason from general readership. Even though, I can measure, according to the stats page over 2000 so called _sers a da_...and Google anal_tics tells _e I have _an_ (_ _ch less than the blog stats b_t still _ore than I likel_ have.) Wh_? What does it all _ean? 

There is probabl_ a ver_ legiti_ate technical reason for this enforced obsc_rit_. I do not tend to explore it from that angle though because I feel it is my fate. Hmm!  Ato_aticall_ this _ind goes to , "Oh, as it is for other things in _ _or specific lifeti_e, this is _ _st part of _ o_r  kar_a. Ever_thing _o_ set o_t to do on Earth is going to _eet obstacles. It is _ _a_t to be diffic_lt for _o_ , for whatever reason. _o_ are _eant to s_ffer or at least not _eet the rewards of ease and validation other h_ _ans have access to. _o_ are not _ _eant to be affir_ed of _ _or p_rpose. Nor will _o_ be shown if  _o_ are _ _st wasting _o_r  ti_e.  _o_  will likel_ never know if this writing and sharing what _o_ are learning is val_able to an_one beca_se  _o_ will not be shown thro_gh earthl_  wa_s like recognition and reward. What _eager gifts _o_ have to share will likel_ re_ain _nseen _ntil after _o_ die and even then the_  _a_  go _nrecognized. 

Are _o_ oka_ with that? Will _o_ keep doing this, knowing that?

The answer is _es...again and again and again...the answer is _es. 

Sigh! All is well.

Life is Difficult! Suffering Exists!

 

There is only one solution [to adversity]. That is a shift to a new consciousness. 

Eckhart Tolle

This being human thing is tough. There is no doubt about it.  It can be beautiful, exciting, fun, growth enhancing, and a perfect platform for learning a myriad of things...but man is it difficult!

I am at the point now where I no longer feel the need to paint over reality with a rose coloured acrylic.  I no longer want  to sugar coat my perception and speech about Life  with a bunch of forced and insincere positivities. The reality is...it can be difficult.

Of course, I have done enough work, scientific observation, and inner reflection to discover what makes it so difficult ( the mind and its judgements, its preferring, its attachment to 'outer world' phenomena; our resistance of reality; our samskaras and inablity to confront them so they are released etc, all equating to the level and focus of consciousness) but the fact remains.  Being human is freaking tough! 

Adversity comes in two forms: the personal kind (also within your family) ...and the collective kind.

I have grown enough to know it isn't 'all about me' but this insignificant one out of 8.5 billion other experiencers would have to leave a yelp review that said , "Forking difficuly! A bit too challenging at times."

I see adversity in my own puny little experience, the experience of loved ones, and it extends all around me to the world at large. It seems that humanity, in general, is suffering. I am so, so aware, for some reason, of that suffering. I feel like I am choking on it sometimes. It can be all consuming. Observing the suffering world breaks my heart and adds to my personal sense of difficulty. It affirms that Scott Peck was absolutely right, "Life is difficult!" I get to the point sometimes where I find myself saying, "I have had enough with this Earth school. I quit. Beam me up Scotty." 

Am I being morbid? Am I being overly dramatic and negative? 

I don't think so.  I think I am being very realistic. Being that the first and most crucial step in recovery is to recognize what the problem is...I think it is so very important that we begin our healing with the reality, as Peck had done in "The Road Less Travel" and what the Buddha had done in the Four Noble Truths..."Life is Difficult! Suffering Exists! " 

I remember struggling in high school math. It was so difficult for this very right dominant brain of mine to figure out the problems. I, having a friend group that excelled in math and wanting so much to be like them, hid the fact that I didn't understand and pretended, to some degree, that "Math was easy" for me. Denying the problem only made the suffering greater.  It wasn't until I admitted to myself and others that I was finding it so difficult that I got the help I needed.  I discovered I had to get to the root of each problem and with guidance and support work my way to a passing grade.

In this Earth school, I think we need to stop falsely claiming "Life is easy for me!" in hope that it will prove true with our affirming. We need to admit out loud that "Being human is very hard" at times. We need to trace back to the roots of our suffering (the personal mind) and begin working on the so called problems from there. 

Once we do that we will be able to say. "Life is forking difficult! There is so much suffering in me and around me. Suffering exists...but it is okay.  I am going to spend my time here as a human seeking the root cause of the suffering and I am going to do my best to learn to heal and grow away from suffering into peace.  I don't know how far I will get on this healing from suffering journey. Not sure if Life will ever be perceived as "easy" to this human...but I am going to watch, observe, explore, examine, learn, and grow from the process. I am going to direct mind away from denying suffering exists, to embracing the fact that it does. I am going to shift to a new conscousness.

What abo_t  _o_?

_ _st lost  _ _  ke_s again :(

Eckhart Tolle (April, 2018) Wh_ th_ World Feels O_t of Control Right Now.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hTJYfqGm1s

Liberation From the World of Problems

 Most people overlook who and what they are beyond the body, beyond the thinking mind, beyond the flux of emotion...underneath all that there is a presence...beyond the surface there is...your essence identity...this is precisely what liberates you from the world of problems.

Eckhart Tolle

Imagine not being stuck living through our nonstop thinking and our ever changing emotions.  Imagine being liberated from 'the world of problems'. Imagine just simply being in life , observing, experiencing, appreciating it all without narrative attached....without fear...without grasping and clinging...without aversion...without this constant need to build up personalities and images. Imagine just being able to observe, appreciate and honor it all without judgement or wanting more. This simple way of being and experiencing Life is what I am longing for.

I want to get beyond the personality: the 'person' I believe myself to be, to the Essence of Who I really Am. 

I want to wake up from this nightmare, into what is real and true. What about you?

Your function is to stay conscious...

Every human is an expression of the one universal consciousness...you are a ray of the universal consciousness. You are consciousness...

The person is a garment that consciousness puts on for a little while, then the garment dissolves... 

I want the suffering to end and I think it will end for all of us when we see beyond the person to who we really are. When we wake up from the bad dream we are having as a 'person' with a busy thinking mind and a mixture of fluctuating emotions...and start experiencing Life as this ego-less, personality-free, authentic essence we are.

I teach suffering and the end of suffering

The Buddha

Eckhart Tolle ( April, 2026) What Most Humans Spend an Entire Lifetime Never Discovering. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_eCvsFcvpI&t=343s

Eckhart Tolle (April, 2026) Give Me 25 Minutes and the Suffering You Carry Will Begin to Make Sense. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZlemm7CQ5A&t=50s

Choosing Confidence over Arrogance

 

Confidence is graceful, silent and gentle. It speaks for itself. Arrogance lacks elegance, it's loud and bositerous. It needs advertising.

The Positive Psychology People

Still thinking of arrogance and want to clarify that for most of us the manifestation of arrogance in our actions, words, and thoughts actually comes from a deeper sense of inadequacy and shame. I see that in this human and am assuming that it occurs in other humans as well. Most so-called arrogant people, then, could actually be very shame-based people with little awareness of and confidence in their True Self...that which exists beyond the protective personalities built and worn.

  Most of us are so identified with our personalities, failing to see that they are just protective masks and costumes we built and struggle to maintain so we can fit into the social pack, we have no clue as to Who We really Are beneath these superficial layers shown to the world. These layers of personality can protect us from the painful messaging we stuffed and stored in those earlier years...what others told us we were that led to an inner layer of personality that is shame based. Personality layers built and maintained by a Redeemer ego (an ego that is going to work hard and do what it can to create an image  of okayness or even "better than you-ness" to hide this shamed personality from self and others) are on the outside, and shown to the world. They attempt to hide and/or deflect from this deep sense of inadequacy. Well, that is the way it is for this human anyway. I can see it is the way for others I know, as well.

Yes, there are people out there who are so deeply entrenched in their arrogant personalities, which are many layers thick tracing back to the core beleiefs they have of themselves as entitled and superior. These people are delusional. They have been conditioned to believe they are grander, better, and more deserving than others. The belief is fixed. If there was shame, it is so deeply supressed it would be next to impossible to retreive.

But...

for the most part arrogance is all about personality protection...I believe anyway.  It often flares up when our shame samskaras get triggered. We subconsciously seek the extreme contrast in personality...going from shame up through self dignity, through pride, to arrogance in an automatic reflex. What would happen then if there was no personality to protect? 

Then, there are those who are truly confident that we may assume are arrogant.  They do not seem to care that we are thinking they are too arrogant. Infact, they do not seem to care what others think of them at all.  They are stepping out and expressing themselves in an honest and authentic way. They are not "people pleasers" though they still seem to love people. They still give but not from a need to fit in and belong mentality. They do not  hide their vulnerabilities because they do not fear the consequences of exposure.  A confident person can express vulnerability freely. They are not intent on hiding it. They do not fear what will happen if they expose these broken shells. There is nothing to hide or protect. They know that Who they Are is omnipresent, omniscient, and omnipotent. These confident people are not riding the roller coast between shame and arrogance. They are steady and peaceful.

Wouldn't you much rather be that way than all tripped up in the wires of arrogance or pulled down into the trenches of shame? How do we get there?

We begin by recognizing our arrogance.  From there we recognize the cause of the arrogance. We see the triggering of that which we are running from inside.  We look deeply in, to see the shame at the root of our personality development. See how it is leading to the extreme opposite personality quest, resulting in arrogance. We clearly see the constant battle going on between two egos: Shamer and Redeemer. Instead of choosing Redeemer over Shamer...we see ego or personality itself as the problem.  We seek to get beyond it. It is not shame or arrogance that is the problem. It is our identification with personality. 

Imagine living without the need to constantly redeem ourselves from shame. Imagine knowing that shame and this need for redemption that often comes in the form of arrogance is not who we are. Imagine not having that pressure to build up these personality layers, to hide, to pretend, to work hard to please. Imagine just being and feeling peaceful in that being.

When we recognize that we are not our personality, be it shameful or arrogant...we can be free to be Who We really Are...the Self. That is where true confidence comes from.

Hmm! Something to think about.

All is well

Arrogant?

 And if this should be arrogance, so let me

arrogant be to justify my prayer

that stands so serious and so alone

before your forehead, circled by the clouds.

Rainer Maria Rilke

I have been thinking of a couple of things I wanted to write about. First of all, I can't get over the fact that my keys are working so brilliantly again lol...I am grateful for the 'y', the 'u', the 'j', the 'm' that have come back to work after going on strike because of unfair work conditions. ( Being constantly bopped on the head by a manic finger ...does not lead to the ideal work place. :) Do not know what made them come back. I am just grateful they did. When I cannot express myself through writing, it feels like someone has cut a part of this human away.  Is that ego or Self, I wonder. Probably a bit of both.

Anyway, I wanted to write about arrogance; and I wanted to write about this wish to experience the perfectly pure, simple and real life without ego. 

I think I will start with the topic of arrogance.

Arrogance?

Arrogance according to the AI overview, is an offensive, over bearing display of superioity or self-importance, characterized by excessive pride and a disdainful attitude towards others. 

Hmm! Has this human, who is definitely shame-based, ever experienced arrogance? 

Oh yes! Way too many times. 

Lately, as I peel away layers and fall back into Who I really Am...I have these flashbacks of times when this psyche was so full of arrogance. Knowing how shame-based this personality is, it astounds me to see that it was indeed very, very arrogant many times. There were times when I was full of false-pride, offensively displaying a sense of self-importance, and even superiority towards others. There were times when this human thought it was better than and looked down at others. Can you imagine? 

When I remember those times I fall forward cringing in shame.  Yes, Shamer Ego jumps in to pull me away, very quickly, from any thing Redeemer Ego fills me up with. Arrognce is Redeemer Ego's doing. Though I have felt this false pride often, I was never able to stay up in it very long because of the Shame that was more dominant. I am almost grateful for Shamer for that reason...for putting me in my place...even though it was pretty extreme in its methods. 

I useed to cringe and wallow in that shame everytime I fell from Redeemer's unsteady shoulders. I would, with Shamer's help, punish myself for what I did or felt while up there on those shoulders. "How could you ever think, you deserved to be up there? You! Who are you to think you are important , let alone more important than someone else? Come on!" 

I would go from feeling very up to feeling very down. Both experiences-the pride and the shame- I realize now, are not worthy of this greater Self ( that we all have within us) ...yet at the time of experiencing the false-pride and experiencing the deep shame , I was so lost in the experience I couldn't see that. I was lost in this identification with layers of a personality, with  ego's convictions...not seeing Who I really was beneath these competeing layers.

Now, I want to explore this idea of arrogance a little more. Where does it truly come from?

As I look back, still with a great deal of shame, at moments my head got bigger than my heart, I see that arrogance came when I, very suprisingly to me more than anyone else,...acheived something "out there" or did something  noteworthy: when I earned professional roles, when I did very well at school, when I earned titles, when I became a Toastmaster and people told me I could speak, when people recognized my writing, or teaching. It came, when from the depths of shame where this personality would normally reside, 'me' was pulled up into some type of light.  I think for me, it was the extreme distance and contrast  the ego personality was pulled that led to that sense of superiority.  It was like wow...maybe not everyone will notice how much I really suck now.  It was about creating and maintaining appearances more so than being.  "They are telling me how much better I am than them...how I have something "special"" ...I clung to that acknowledgement because it offered such a better feeling than the shame. I got lost in it. I knew as I was experiencing these semi-highs of arrogance that it was just a facade; that it wouldn't last; that I would be discovered as an imposter soon enough....so I clung harder to these layers of ego personality. Hmm! That was my experience of arrogance. I have to assume it is the same for others? 

So, arrogance then ...at least as it was for this "me"...is often a result of a deep desire to be redeemed and lifted from the pit of shame we humans can find ourselves in, to be pulled from the trance of unworthiness and inadeqaucy. If we get pulled up quickly and to a very distinct height contrast from where we once were...then it is easy to get lost there...to see not so much that we are better than anyone else, necessarily, but we are better than the shameful 'me' we left behind. We, then, may begin to cross reference that 'me' with other 'me's we assume are still down there. Thus that mentality of "I am up here and you are still down there." 

What we assume as arrogance, can also be "authentic confidence" appearing as arrogance.  If we have done the work of peeling off the layers of neurotic ego; if we have come to see who we really are and have given up our dependency on the need for the good opinion of others; if we are willing to just be ourselves without shame...than sometimes that gets misconstued as arrogance by others.  Wouldn't that be a wonderful way to approach Life though? 

Arrogance can also be the sign of a personality in stuck mode.  It can be a result of a false belief where the person actually is convinced that they are better than others. 

Hmm!

When personality's are acting out in arrogance what is really going on?  

I think we need to ask the question when we see arrogance in ourselves or others: Which of the three possibilities, is this apparent arrogance coming from? Is it some type of mental disorder where the person actually truly believes they are better than others (delusions of grandeur); is it an honest and authentic form of confidence others are perceiving as arrogance; or is it just a Redeemer Ego temporarily pulling the personality up from the pit of shame, leading to a clinging to this new height so we stay far away from that shame based "me" as we can?

 I am sure we can think of a few personalities on the world stage who seem to deserve the "arrogant" label, and rightfully so.  They are suffering from Delusions of Grandeur. We also see people who are being mistakenly called "arrogant" because they are genuinely confident and  know who they are. And then, there are so many like this human, who prefer the momentary and very fleeting feeling of redemption, even if arrogance is the side effect, to the yuckiness of shame.  

I would very much like to peel and heal enough to be genuinely confident...not concerned one iota if others perceive this 'me' as arrogant...because I would know I am not arrogant...just evolved enough to know who I am at the deeper level and operating from there. That would be cool. 

All is well in my world.

Just Notice and Be Willing to Let Go

 Psychology says man is the sum of his learned experiences; science says reality is the sum of all the causes that made it be that way.

Michael Singer

I would love to sit down and talk with Michael Singer sometime. That would be so cool. (Hmm! Just notice that all my letters are working lol.) We seem to be so like minded...for whatever reason. In my mind only...maybe but I believe we would have a great conversation. I figure I would learn and grow so much from it. He might even get something from talking with me? Who knows? 

It would be cool!

Anyway, I might be "projecting what I want" onto him. 

Everybody is different than you...that which is watching your mind and you heart  is transcendent of both...[but...everyone at the surface level, by which we tend to operate, is different than you.]

We both agree, I believe, that living is simply about "noticing."

Notice who is noticing!

Don't struggle with your ind. don't struggle with your heart. Just notice

Can I, in here who notices the state of the mind and the state of the heart in a given point of time.....create a little space. ...You are the experiencer not the experience. 

You still deal with it...You [just]don't deal with it as a way of making it go away. 

If you can handle it, there is nothhing to deal with.

He goes on to discuss the "I don't care" we use. I don't care can mean we really care but because it is painful to care we repress and suppress it. 

Or it can mean...that we truly don't care because we let it, what life offered, go. We let reality in, we dealt with it, and we let it go. 

Spirituality is about letting go of the impressions that were made in there, that don't have to be there.

Life is going to give us so many blessings and so many challenges; it is going to take away challenges and it is going to take away potential blessings. When we are purified inside, free of most of those impressions (samskaras) that lead to this constant prickly reactivity we humans are known for, we will find clarity and respond to Life's challenges in a healthier way; we will remove blockages in the way of our joy; and we will experience the true peace that comes from the acceptance of reality as it is. Life is going to clean us out if we let it and are willing to go through the discomfort of letting go of that which needs to be released. We benefit by letting it and accepting reality as it is. Not only do we need to allow Life, then, to do what it does, we need to appreciate it and honor it. 

If it comes say thank you, if it goes say thankyou for it is all for your growth.

All is well!

This return of my letters is a bit of a miracle, lol. Don't know how it happened...just know that I am very grateful!

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True ( April, 2026) Handling Reality: The True Path to Inner Peace. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9ojDGIjxxU&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1

The "Handling Disappoint_ent" Wordle Riddle

 Instead of cr_ing, "Wh_  _e?" or "Wh_ not _e?", tr_ observing the h_ _an experience of disappoint_ent like a q_estioning, c_rio_s scientist, discovering so_ething new and exciting. Feel the feelings, notice the tho_ghts, b_t ref_se to swi_ in the_. Instead, observe the_ from a distance and en_o_  the role of c_rio_s Observer.

This h_ _an I call "Me".

Writing with letters missing is challenging. Reading what so_eone has written with letters missing is likely even more challenging. Think of it as a long wordle riddle. I apologize b_t I need to write. lol

How do _o_ handle disappointment when it _nfolds in front of _o_? Have _o_  observed and noticed what happens to  _o_  phsicall_,  _entally and e_otionally when things do not go _ _or wa_ and how that response or reaction affects what _o_ experience in the f_t_re?

I have been watching the h_ _an condition of disappoint_ent in self  latel_. I _easre how disappointed I feel in sit_ations as a deter_inant of  _ _ progress.  What I a_ noticing is quite astounding. I find myself approaching disappoint_ent with a great deal of scientific c_riosit_. It is prett_ cool. I find _ _self  to be a q_estioning, c_rio_s observer rather than a victi_ to what I lost or to the circu_stances that didn't work o_t the wa_ I planned. I am more interested in the "Oh, so this is what it feels like to experience this," now, than I a_ the, "Oh no! Wh_ does this alwas happen? Wh_ don't things ever work_ ot for _e."  (Which I did observe happening in this mind for the briefest of _o_ents). As a c_rio_s observer...I a_ less weighed down b_ disappoint_ent. I notice, for s_re, the feelings and tho_ghts that nor_all_  co_e when so_ething we were hoping for doesn't _aterialize or work o_t...b_t I no longer swi_ in it...I therefore don't drown in it. I let it go so I can observe it fro_ a distance. It is like I a_ on the shore watching the experience of disappoint_ent float past this h_ _an I call _e. It is reall_ a different and al_ost exciting perspective. 

So, this co_p_ter that I a_ so_ewhat dependent on to _eet the creativit_ needs of this h_ _an...is obviosl_ not working the wa_ it co_ld work, _aking the _eeting of these needs extre_el challenging. I a_ not wallowing in the disappoint_ent. S_re, I felt and feel so_ewhat fr_strated. S_re, there were tho_ghts of, "Wh_ _ e? Wh_ is this  happening to me?" which led to _ore generalized tho_ghts of, "Wh_ is it alwa_s so challenging for this h_ _an?" _et, I find _ _self standing on the shore watching these feelings and tho_ghts float b_. I a_ not down there swiming in the_. On top of that, I feel like a scientist in a lab who _ust observed so_ething reall_cool thro_gh the _icroscope. "Wow! This is how it feels not to be lost in that crap!" 

I didn't get the little _ob that popped _p offering a certain hope. There was certainl_ a  _o_entar_ reaction of disappoint_ent. I did not want to s_ppress it.  I allowed self to feel it, b_t then I _ _ _ped back _p onto the river bank and I watched it fro_ that viewpoint. And it was like, "Cool! This is what it feels like not to be so attached to o_tco_e." 

This _orning, I still feel a little _p. I know in _ _  heart that it is all good. That it wasn't s_ppose to be an_ other wa_ than the wa_ it tr_ned o_t.  How do I know that? Beca_se this is the wa_ it trned o_t. I get excited thinking abo_t that, wondering what Life has in store for this h_man other than this that did not transpire. I a_  c_rio_s again. So, cool.

Anwa_, tho_ght I wo_ld share.

All is well.

Non-Attachent

How do you use life to free yourself from Self?

Micheael Singer speaks about pratyhara (freedom from attachment to sensory input, dharana (single focused concentration, and dhyana (meditation) and their role in leading us to freedom...but he states it requires more than that. It reqires a certain degree of dealing with life ot there.

 The state of freedom is found as we progress through the many stages of Samadhi. When we are completely free of our attachment to this 'me' with its samskaras and our outer world distractions, we are in a state of ultimate freedom: Nirvikalpa Samadhi.  We become jivanmuktas. Jivan means while alive. and mukta means liberated. We will all find freedom after we discard these bodies, but yoga teaches we  are meant to be free while we are alive. 

What does it look like to be a liberated being?

All the thoughts, all the desires, become selfless. Selfishness is the germ that sprouts, saing, "I want it!". When the selfishness is completely taken out, you become germless. That is called... nirvikalpa samadhi.(Patanali's Stras, page 1  )T

This is the final stage of Samadhi. I can't think about getting to the final stage of anything bt I do seek to be free of this distracted, resisitant, selfish "me". Not sure I will ever be a jivanmukta in this life time but it is the direction I move in.

How does such a jivanmukti look?

One who has achieved this may look similar to anyone else. But the burnt nature of his or her mental seeds is the difference between oridnary beings and jivanmuktas (liberated beings). They also eat, sleep, and do everthing like everybody else, but they are not affected by what they do. There is no moisture of attachent to cause sprouting. ...It [being in this state]  is not sitting stiffly with eyes closed as some people think. If sitting like a statue is what you call samadhi, all the rocks in the gardnen must be deep in samadhi. No. You will be useful; you will be active-more active than other people. Your actions [when in this state] are more perfect than other people's. You are dynamic, but you looks static....You dive deep into an object or idea, and it releases its secrets.  Page 166-167

Hmm! Something to think abot. 

All is well.

Sorr...issing soe letters. It takes so long to tpe now. Need to go back and tr to trigger the issing letters...soeties it works and soeties, as o are seeing now, it doesn't. It gets worse the longer I tpe

ichael A. Singer/Teple of the Universe/Sonds True (April, 2026) Fro Distraction to Liberation.    https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT    

Sat        Satchidananda( 2011) The Stras of Patanali.

 Ran into another little problem with my computer. The keyboard is not sending my finger generated input to the screen for several letters like m u y the number 7 sigh.  Over use maybe ? I am trying all the hacks I can but might have to splurge in a new keyboard or computer. Anyway I am typing on my phone which is a tiny bit less frustrating than typing without access to those letters ... but not by much lol. It is all good. It is what it is.

All is well.

Oh, This Precious Life!

 The more you are in tune with self the less you are in tune with God; the more you are in tune with God, the less you are in tune with self. 

Michael Singer

Note: The computer keyboard is acting up. Some of the letters will not show up unless I type very slowly and press each key a different way. I am challenged to slow my fingers that want to keep up with my thoughts. So, you may notice a missing "m", "u", "y" on occassion.

Anyway, woke up saying to myself, "Oh this precious life." My life circumstances have suddenly changed for the better...or at least, the door was opened to a positive state of  potential "unstuckness". What brought this change on?

Once again, I remembered that Life was not all about me. For the last few months I was "stuck" in a downward focus. I had been living this precious Life in tune with the perspective of personal, opinionated, reactive, and resistant mind, instead of in tune with God and Life. I was seeking some form of safety and comfort for "me".

Then I was reminded by Life and others how I was living according to the safety and comfort desires of "little me".  I suddenly saw so clearly what I was doing.  So, I said..."Okay, hiding beneath this rock may give me a sense of safety and comfort but Life wants more of me. This Life is not all about this one little brief human existence I call mine." 

I crawled out from behind the rock and did something Life was asking me to do in an obvious way, something  I was avoiding,  because it was uncomfortable  for this human I call "me". I told myself, "This might not be comfortable. It may not perfectly match the desires and safety needs of this human...but I am going to do it. Why? I just feel a pull...underneath this "me" focus...to do this that is unfolding. This one little action will be a part of my practice of releasing self and moving toward God and Life."

It started out uncomfortable. I observed and experienced some anxiety and discomfort. I didn't perform perfectly. But I did it. The more I reminded myself that it was not about "me", the less the focus was on this human and its discomfort.

Then Life seemed to change after that, almost as if that little step I took opened a door. I got asked to teach yoga to a class. I was contacted about an interesting on-line teaching job I applied for months ago and assumed they were not interested. A family situation I was so concerned about and felt soley responsible for became ...just that...a family situation. Others stepped up and some of the burden was removed from my shoulders. I took that uncomfortable step I took previously again and this time, it was comfortable and enjoyable. I started another novel. All in a period of 3 weeks after I took that one little step of leaving the comfort zone and doing what Life asked. 

Something shifted when I let go of my attunement to self and its preferences, and placed my focus on Life.  Stepping out of the comfort zone of "me-ness" and falling into the arms of Life is a trust exercise. It involves a risk but it is well worth it.

That doesn't mean everything will turn out the way "me" wants it to.  I may not get that job. The yoga class may not turn out the way I want it to. This family intervention may not have the desired effect. The next time I do that little job, it may be less positive of an experience. This novel may suck!! 

I am not attached to outcome. What is amazing is how the doors opened letting the light in...like the real light of God and Life...and my energy lifted when I as "me" got out of the way so it could shine in. I became "unstuck".

All is well in my/this world.

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True ( April 23, 2026) Letting Go of Yourself. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqNGS_ORXUM&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1

 No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it is not the same river, and he is not the same man.

Heracilitus 

All is well

The Question to Ask in Regards to Service

 Is it ego seeking to be served by Life or Self seeking to serve Life? 

Me

That is the question we need to ask every moment we encounter an opportunity to do something. When we are being asked, "Can you do this?",  or when we ask ourselves, "Should I do that?" or "What should I do next?", let's reflect on whether we are operating from egoes wanting to be served or the Self seeking to serve.

We spend so much of our earthly time saying yes to what will serve our egos, catering to our likes and dislikes and what makes us feel better inside, while we say "no"to situations that we dislike or that make us feel uncomfortable inside.  We too often are operatig from ego,  looking out at life thinking it is there to serve us and make us feel comfortable. With that mentality service is very conditional.  "As long as it makes me feel good in one way or another, I will do it." When ego gets fed by the service we provided, we feel great and when it doesn't we feel bad and say we are not going to do that again. 

Hmm! If we realized we were the Self here to serve Life...both service and Life would take on a different glow, wouldn't it?

All is well

It's Not All About "Me"?

Spirituality is about letting go inside and serving outside. 

Michael A. Singer

I woke up with this question, "I know Life is not all about me...but how can I learn to live like that is the truth instead of getting all caught up in my likes and dislikes?" 

Then the thought of the first line from Scott Peck's, The Road Less Travelled: "Life is difficult!" ...popped into my mind.

"Oh", I said to myself, "I am having a hard time living without a "me" focus because Life is so difficult." 

It is more than a little ironic and coincidental, then, when I heard Michael Singer say during my morning listen, "Life is so easy!" 

He was reminding me of what I already knew. I remembered all that I learned over the years from teachers like him and from my own inner exploration. I asked the question again. 

Is Life difficult or is it easy? 

That all depends on our preferences which include our attachments, our likes, our desires...as well as our aversions and our dislikes. 

What makes Life difficult, then, are our preferences. What makes Life easy is when we approach it without our preferences.  "The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences." 

We have sense information collected from everything going on around us and in us,,,and we have  what is meant to be the mind's pure unfiltered interpretation of that information(reality). If there was just an uninterupted flow between what comes in through the senses and the interpretation of it, we would have a pure life experience, an easy Life, but we put something in between sensory perception and reality. We put our personal preferences. We make Life difficult as a result. 

These preferences are distractions pulling consciousness into them.

In between consciousness and reality stands [personal] M.I.N.D.

The very same question I asked myself this morning as I was making my bed, I heard repeated in this podcast in different words. 

What would you be doing if you were not dominated by these preferences?

The answer: 

You would be looking forward to every single thing that takes place...

We would be putting our whole heart and soul into experiencing all that shows up without our likes and dislikes in the way. If we were cleaned out of all those samskaras that lead us to prefer...we would accept, honor, appreciate and find joy in the reality of all that Life offers. 

These samskaras are not just based on what we don't like. We need to remember 

Things you cling to that you like cause just as much problems that things you cling to that you didn't like. [Leading to expectations that cannot be matched or repeated]

Hmm! So, I know it isn't Life that is repsonsible for any judgement I make about its ease or difficulty.  Life is just doing Life.  Reality just is.  Life is so easy! It is me and my preferences that are causing the problems, creating this perception of difficulty.

So, in answer to my own question this morning:

I will continue to work on putting away my preferences.  It may take some time but I will keep trying. For now, I need to keep up with my practice of recognizing when my preferences are in the way and stepping around them to embrace Life for being exactly what it is. I will do my best to let go inside so I can serve better outside.

All is well.

Michael A. Singer/Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True ( April 20, 2026)  Reality is Not a Problem- Your Preferences Are. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2q_VN5beLs

Crickets in the Background Ceasing to Exist

When the mind exists undisturbed in the Way, nothing in the world can offend. And when a thing can no longer offend, it ceases to exist in the old way. 

Seng T'san (Hsin Ming) 

So, we are moving through life with all these crickets chirping in the background. Crickets chirp.  That's what they do. They are not the problem.  The problem is we are choosing to listen to them and we determine that chirping to be annoying and disturbing to "little me". ...therefore saying, "It shouldn't be."

News for you.  It is! And therefore it should be! 

Michael A. Singer is referring, of course, to the noise the little personal self or mind is constantly making as it reacts to reality. It looks out at Life and more or less says, "You are not serving me in the way that makes me comfortable...therefore your unfolding is bad, wrong, and shouldn't be! That means I will have to do something about what you are offering.  I will have to resist it, fix it, control it, manipulate it, or change it so it better suits this "me".  If I cannot do that...then I will need to deny it, suppress it, repress it and use a host of other defense mechanisms that keeps me from experiencing what you are offering right here and now."

You have a problem.  You have a personal mind that doesn't get along with reality.

So how do we handle the noise?

Well we cannot stop the personal mind from going on the way it does but we do not have to listen to it. We can see that though it thinks it is serving us and protecting us by serving this idea we have of "me",  it has selfish and unwholesome motives that do not serve the greater good. Besides it knows nothing! It really is not worthy of our attention. It does not end suffering.  It adds to it.

Ultimately we want to get rid of this self the mind tries to serve, this self with its preferences and aversions, its offenses. 

Let go of yourself, then you look, and then you serve. ...Realize the personal self is not worth listening to...All it is committed to is itself. 

 I am discovering that getting beyond the noise of the personal mind is not an easy, get er done process. It takes time to peel these layers of self away, to stop turning the ear to the cricket noise and to stop being offended by Life's many offerings. It is very challenging to get beyond that which is so easily offended. "Me" doesn't leave our life experience willingly. Even when we have done the work and are sighing in relief, believing that "We did it!", we will suddenly hear the "Crick-et" "Crick-et" re-emerging in the background. There we find the personal mind once again telling us what to do. The little self does not go gently into that good night. Let me tell ya. 

Still...we need to perservere. We need to stop demanding that Life serve our preferences and aversions, and instead learn to serve Life without them. We might even find that Life is better that way.

As you let go of your personal self...you will find out you have more energy than you used to have.

Can you trust that the Universe knows what it is doing and are you willing to go with that flow? 

Can you, at least, try to:

Put your whole being into that which is unfolding in front of you as a service to God.

I know it isn't easy but I am going to continue to try my best. Hopefully I will come to see it was worth it...not just for what I once called "me" but for the world. 

All is well.

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True (April, 2026) The Life that Leads to Liberation. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rx4Jm1e2vdk&t=1s

The Crux of the Spiritual Path

As long as you have those patterns [samskaras] they are going to express themselves. The question is what are you going to do about it?

Things are seldom the way we want them to be. The gap between what is happening and what we want to be happening is what causes disturbance and suffering. That is reality. Now what are we going to do about it? 

Are we going to spend all our time and energy trying to manipulate the world to decrease that gap or are we going to learn to accept that it is the way it is? 

Are we going to constantly delve into the question, "How can I change the way it is now, in order to get what I want so I feel better inside?" or are we going to explore the question, "Why do I need things to be a certain way? What is going on inside me that I need to explore and work on?" 

Hmm! 

Something to think about. 

All is well.

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True ( April 19, 2026)  The Life that Leads to Liberation. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-66U_8l37c

Befriending Crows

 

Every bird, every tree, every flower reminds me what a privilege it is just to be alive.

Marty Rubin

I sit here at this little kitchen table looking out the small window that overlooks some lovely old Blue Spruce and Silver Birch trees in the neighbour's yard.  On the branches of the Birch, the pair of crows I recently befreinded are staring in at me...cawing for food.  There is no doubt in my mind that they are communicating with this human.  There behaviour is so similar to that of other crows I have befriended over the years back at the old house. 

Let me define "befriend.

No... they are not sitting on my shoulders, being carried around as I walk around the yard. They are not dropping shiny bling or flowers at my feet to show their appreciation nor are they sitting down to tea with me in the mornings. They are simply aware of my presence and the fact that I can provide food for them. They trust that I will provide food for them. They recognize my physical form. They gradually are learning to trust that this form will not harm them. That my presence in their lives is both safe and beneficial.  They are beginning to communicate with me by cawing at me while remaining within view, telling me that they want food. They also come when I call...not always but many times...and they land closer and closer to me. Eventually, I suspect, they will allow me to get very close without flying away as the other crows I knew did. I very much enjoy befriending these animals at the same time I am very cautious about not putting them at risk or spoiling them or their young with a too easy food supply. They are, after all, beings with their own purpose in life that has nothing to do with me.  They are not in this human's life to serve my ego, curiosity or need for distraction. 

Crows are beautiful social animals.  They mate for life.  This pair of newlyweds will likely be nesting soon.  I have seen them gathering sticks and stuff for their nest...not sure what tree they selected but it is near. Soon the female crow will be hidden away and I will only be seeing the male as he collects food to feed his nesting wife with. If I am lucky, as I was at the other house over the years, I will be introduced to their young and I will be able to watch as they fledge from one branch to the next and eventually as they come down to the ground to be fed by their parents for many weeks before flying off and away forever. It is all so cool.

Ego likes the attention and the way others call me "The Crow lady". I have to be careful with that and remind myself: This getting animals to trust me thing is not important.  Recognizing our interbeingness  is. Being able to befriend the crows reminds me of how wonderful it is to be alive.

All is well. 

What to Do? What to Do?

 

The world may sound no trumpets, ring no bells; the book of life the shining record tells.

Elizabeth Barret Browning

Man, I feel like I just had a good talking to about this idea of service I was living with.  What does it truly mean to serve in the bigger picture and have I been doing it?

I fear I have not been saying "yes" enough to Life when it comes knocking at my door with the question, "Can you do me a solid?" 

I have not been doing much "out there".  Why? Because it all seems too uncomfortable for this "me".  As I mentioned, I am now like a shelled animal who just molted.  I am open and vulnerable ...with all my nerve endings exposed, it seems, so I am very reactive and aware, picking up too much information about potential threats. It is very uncomfortable.  So, I have more or less been hiding away, tucked into this little rock...avoiding and rationalizing that I am doing enough...because, I tell myself, it really isn't about the doing. It is about the being. Which it is...but I think some doing is still required.  I serve  but only as long as I can serve in this safe, comfort zone I find myself in. I stay under the rock waiting for some other type of shell to form around me.  Imagine...here I am actively trying to be free of shells ...telling myself I cannot go back out there unless I form another layer of protection. I make all my service very conditional and limited.

I thought service, even in my so called spiritual state meant ...give to others and the world...sure...but do it based on what makes this "me" comfortable. Well, nothing "out there" seems to make this me comfortable lately. Just the opposite. So, I haven't been saying "yes" a lot unless the request is right in my face and very, very obvious.  I will rationalize each time Life lays something in front of me that could be saying, "Can you do this now?" with..."Well maybe  this that is showing up isn't Life asking "me" to do something. Maybe it is a more general request. I will let someone else take this one. If Life really wants me, specifically, to do something, it will be more obvious than this." 

Then when it becomes somewhat more obvious, I will reply, " No, I think I need to stay here until I get this sorted out...or I need to heal first...I need to figure things out first."  ...All the while Life is moving past this human, unfolding in front of her, offering this or that. 

There is still so many conditions on my saying yes to service.  I have to be comfortable.  I have to like it.  I have to be free of insecurity, anxiety, or fear when I do it.  I cannot be rejected, disapproved of, or criticized by others when I do it.  It has to be "safe".

Hmm! Safe to who?  This version of "me" I am still clinging to? Isn't my mission to get rid of this me so it isn't calling the shots? So, why am I avoiding so many opportunities to serve Life because I still want to protect this me?

Singer reminds us that the calls to service are quite obvious. 

The world will call to you and every part of your being will be pulled and everything will come together. 

I am not yet aware of anything quite that obvious...other than what I do here. I definitely feel pulled to do this taht I am doing now. I question, though,  if that is an actual service or just an activity that allows this "me" to stay hidden away in a comfort zone. Everything is not coming together to say, "Yes...this is a service!"I don't even know if I am reaching another human being. 

 I also fear that I am not seeing or understanding when Life is asking me to do things in other areas. These messages are not always clear enough so I am not able to dispute it or rationalize it away because the service requested doesn't suit this "me."

In other words, I really do not know what God wants from me. I do not know what I am suppose to do in terms of my dharma. Do you know what you are supposed to do?

Singer goes on to remind us what dharma is:

Dharma: that which you are given to do when you let go of that which you wanted to do and didn't want to do...

Dharma and purpose just unfolds in front of us, I guess.  When we are not seeking to meet the needs of the little self, we will see what we, as the Greater Self, are supposed to do in each moment. We will know?

You will always know what to do

I hope so.  I want to know what I am suppose to do in each unfolding without a shadow of a doubt.  Too much? I want what I am supposed to do here to be told to me clearly and obviously. Wouldn't taht be great if it was always that clear?

We just need to be open to allowing Thy will; not my will guide us. We truly do not know what we are here to do and what type of a difference each of our actions will make to the universe. It is certainly not all about making us...as one little human in a sea of 8.5 billion humans... feel comfortable and good, is it?

Don't ever think you know what God wants of you..The universe knows what it is doing...your mind is so small.

Knowing that, we need to spend more time listening and waiting for an answer after  asking, "What do you want me to do now?" Then we have to be 100 percent committed to letting go of the personal self, so we actually hear the answer. Finally, we need to...

 Put your entire heart and soul in the moment that unfolds in front of you...

I suppose there will also be a lot of trial an error trying to figure out the difference between what God wants and what we, as "me", want? We will likley step into places where we are not meant to be, that do not serve anything but show us the error of our ways so we can correct.

if you are not suppose to be there, it will move you

Life will guide us then? 

It will move you and it will give you stuff to do

I still ask for more clarity with every thing that unfolds in front of this human. "Am I suppose to do something with this for the greater good?  If so, what?" 

And I hope to get an answer that is obvious and clear, I will do what is asked of me, I will...even if I don't like it and it makes me very uncomfortable (like exposing this self here)...I just want the request for service to be obvious and clear.  Is that too much to ask? I want to know what I am supposed to do.

The most blessed person is the one who knows what they are supposed to do. 

All is well.

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True ( April 17, 2026) The Life that Leads to Liberation. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rx4Jm1e2vdk&t=1162s

Examining the Question: "What is the Meaning of Life?"

 The answers you get depend on how you examine the question?

Dr. Joe Walsh

What question do we need to examine?  

What is the meaning of Life and how can I best serve it?  

That is the question I ask throughout the day and into the wee hours of the night. I am defiitely not alone in asking it, am I? It is the question from which the field of Ontology emerged, is it not? Yet, is it a question that was ever answered to humanity's satisfaction? Probably not! Why? Because we fail to notice how we ask it. We fail to examine the question itself. 

Let's look at that question. How do we usually ask it? We tend to ask it from a very narrow view point of "me".  This "me" wants to know "What is the purpose of "my" life? Why am "I" here? What should "I" do with this time I have on Earth that will serve "me" best?"

 So if there are 8.5 billion humans on Earth asking the same question with the "me" focus, guess what we will end up with.  We are going to end up with 8.5 billion different answers. Not one that serves the entire race.

What we need to do is notice or examine how we ask the question and then proceed to ask in a differnet way, a less egoic way. "What is the meaning of Life?" This is a question that will lead to a general, non-personalized answer. It is not referring to "me" or "you" or any one being but Life as a whole. "What is the meaning of this Life we are all experiencing?"  

 Then once that question is asked, we can ask, "And how can this one human best serve Life without getting lost in the idea that "it is all about 'me'"?

It is hard to depersonalize the meaning of Life isn't it? So, it is very challenging to depersonalize the question so that we get an ontological answer that best serves humanity. If we examine how we ask the question, however, we can predict what type of answer we will get. We can begin to shift the paradigm.

I found myself asking the question on my way home last evening. It was a bit of a challenging day.  I had gone down to another city with my brother for him to receive a diagnosis, hearing a word that terrifies so many of us. We were kind of expecting it so it was no major surprise. Infact, the outcome of that visit was probably more positive than we thought it was going to be. Yet, the mere mention of that word puts us humans in an existential crisis as we scramble with what it means to the body and mind we call "me". 

I did think, of course, what this diagnosis would mean to him, his wife, his children, and the rest of his siblings, but I also thought of what it would mean to "me". It made me think. "What is the  meaning of my Life now that I know this diagnosis can creep into our awareness at any time?" Then I examined the  question and I rephrased it, "What is the meaning of Life if it is so fragile and impermanent?" Then I quickly asked, "How can I serve it knowing that?" 

As soon as that question emerged in my mind, I immediately had to deal with another ongoing crisis. I suddenly felt overwhelmed and exhausted by the "Vanity of vanities" of this Life.  I questioned again, "What is the meaning of Life?" (removing the 'this' and the 'my') and I felt so much more peace without that "me" focus.  I saw the beauty and the specialness of Life even with this challenge. I saw the impersonal nature of it...the equanimity of this experience...neither bad or good...just is. ...just one of the many intertwining threads of this being human. 

The "me-ness" of the question also floated away and the paradigm shifted for me a bit. The experience of living is so much more peaceful without the "me" in the way. Life can be experienced with much more clarity and objectivity when it isn't so personal.  I did ask, "Now, how can I serve? How can I serve him and this situation? How can I serve Life?"  Without the "me" in the way, there was little thought of personal outcome, hardship or gratification in that question. 

Though I had a giant sized knot in my gut throughout the drive home...a sign of some lingering internal resistance...when I sat to meditate later in the evening, when I sat with exactly what was going on inside this human I call "me" related to the day's offerings,...I asked the question again. "What is the meaning of Life? How can I best serve it?"  I fell back into something a little deeper than the diagnosis, the suffering of others, my own worry and concern...and that knot just seemed to disappear. I fell into this non-thought place and it was very, very peaceful. 

I got an answer. 

The meaning of Life isn't about how much we are doing. It is about how much we are in it. Simply being and experiencing what unfolds in front of us regardless of what it is ... is the meaning of Life. How do I serve then? I just need to be fully in it and be willing to experience it all! Even this. 

Sigh! The knot was back this morning lol.  I still have work to do but I do believe if we want answers that soothe the soul...we need to examine how we are asking the questions.

All is well.

Meaning and Unconditional Joy: Experiencing the Small Gifts

 You are a very great being.  You are a very great being that is holding yourself down. Let go.

Michael a. Singer

I have been, as you know, contemplating the meaning of Life and the idea of purpose. I have this idea in my head that I, as this human, and you, as that human, are supposed to accomplish something "big" in order to make the most of these lifetimes we have been blessed with. We can't waste a moment feeling anything other than the highest forms of joy and happiness. We have to go on some grand mission to serve others or the world at large. We have to acheive ultimate ego worthy successes, and we have to make a big, note-worthy difference. We are great beings, aren't we? Shouldn't we then be doing great things and feeling great emotions? 

I have been walking around with a boulder sized knot in my belly full of have-tos, and shoulds, as well as a deep sense that I am not "doing enough", not "fixing" enough of what appears to be wrong in me and around me...not feeling enough of the joy, love, happiness and peace I am supposed to be feeling.  I feel like I am not being enough and therefore not living this life the way I am meant to. I fear I might be squandering it and the gifts I have been given to experience and express the magnitude of this life experience.  I guess, that kind of makes me feel like a spiritual failure.

I see that there are two things holding me back from embracing Life fully and enjoying the joy, bliss, love and peace within me.  The first of course, are my samskaras, and the second is this misconstrued expectation about what it means to embrace Life and be human that I hold onto. 

Samskaras need to be released and out of the way to experience the joy already within us. 

You let them go...because they are stealing the depth of your life

Oh I mean,  I see the necessity of and have committed myself fully to this life process of purification.  I am trying to release the junk stuck inside me. Unlike Michael A. Singer, I am not doing it in a gentle way. I am not just dealing with the low hanging fruit that plunk down on my head...I have a shovel and I am digging to the roots. I want this stuff out of me. I am committed to purification and I do truly see the wisdom in that quest. I put my all into it and am therefore hitting a lot of buried treasures. I am dealing with some pretty big and challenging emotional energy as it is released from the sealed trunk it was buried in. That isn't easy. I am facing that which I spent most of my life running from and believe me...I still want to run. I just don't. 

As I deal with the heavy and draining samskara stuff, I proceed through moment to moment living as a human being who has a lot of challenging life experiences, with a lot of heavy suffering going on around her. I keep hearing over and over from this self and from the suffering others around me, "I have to do more with my life or it won't be worth living! Its not meaningful enough as it is."  Somehow we are equating the meaning of Life with some "great doing" or some "grand experiences" that seem to be beyond our reach. For me, even despite all my work, I still hear myself saying, " Life will have more meaning and I will feel more joy  if I gain literary success, or if I become renown as a teacher of this stuff, if I get more readership, if I only had more money so I could stop worrying about money, if those I loved got better." Because I don't have those things now...I feel that twisting in my gut...that need to acheive and fix...I hear others reciting and even find myself reciting at times this mantra that I have come to know isn't true: "I will be happy when I accomplish this, if I get that, when I heal from this, if I help enough there, when they finally realize that or take the steps needed to get better, I truly have come to see that is not the way Life works.  I, therefore,  feel stuck. I feel like I am not doing what I should be doing with this gift of Life I have been given.

Life is right here and right now. Where is the meaning in this experience if it isn't in the striving for these great acts and this achievement?  

That is the question that brings me back to reality.  I spend my time wondering what that is. I have come to see that joy, love, happiness, peace and well being are already in me and I am not experiencing them for the two reasons explained above. I am blocked with samskaras and I also have very unreal ideas and expectations about the meaning of Life. So, I continue to purify to get rid of the first reason I am feeling stuck and I seek the true meaning in Life to end the second. 

Putting Away Unreal Notions About Life's Meaning?

Could it be that it doesn't matter what we do, where we are, what roles we play, what we own or have to Life's meaning? Could the meaning of Life simply be  about being in it wherever we are at? 

When I am walking in the woods and truly, truly feeling the earth beneath my feet, so much so I am no longer thinking about how to fix things...the knot in my gut releases and I know this is my life. This is it.  I do not have to do anything with it.  It doesn't have to be any different than what it is.  This is enough. It is beautiful as it is, worthy of my respect and admiration. Joy emerges in a very subtle form.

When I am hanging clothes on the line on a beautiful morning like this morning, hearing the bird song all around me, feeling the breeze and the sun on my face.  Man...that is no grand act of serrvice to humanity, maybe, but that is a precious moment in this Life experience. It is enough. It is worthy of my respect and appreciation. Joy emerges in a very subtle but real form. 

When I am writing in this crazy blog to God knows who, if anyone, I feel it then too.  This is enough. The act of writing, sharing learning is enough.  I do not need fame or money for it.  This gives life meaning. These moments, here, are worthy of my respect and appreciation. Joy emerges.

When I am sitting across from someone spewing out their pain and dissatisfaction with the Life experience and I can remain calm, somewhat detached but truly compassionate (even when they cannot see it)...it is enough. This too is Life. This too is worthy of my respect and appreciation. And yes, even in these moments joy can emerge.

 So instead of thinking and searching for the grand experiences, I can just look around me and find the joy that is there.   We do not need to do more with these lives…we just  need to be more in them. That’s all it takes to give Life meaning. Then joy, bliss, love and peace will emerge on their own.  And there is nothing we need to do to make that happen. .  

You don't need anything to make you happy.  Spirituality isn't about getting things.  It is about letting things go.

All of life is beautiful. All of life is joy ...enjoy all of it.

Every moment in life is an opportunity to bliss out.

If you want to be happy...let go...let go of the part of you that is making you neurotic

You can be happy if you let yourself be.

All is well.

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True (April 13, 2026) Stop Chasing Happiness: Remove What blocks It. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SXcMK4dj70&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1&t=1145s

51 Mental Formations/Samskaras

Whenever you see an unpleasant mental formation manifesting, call on the seed of mindfulness to manifest as a second energy in your mind. Mindfulness is like a mother, gently embracing a crying baby,the unpleasant mental formation. 

Thich Nhat Hanh

According to the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, a samskara is said to be a subtle, latent impression, mental trace or subconscious imprint left behind by every thought, action or experience. The AI generated definition on google describes them this way.

They are the residual effects of past experiences stored in the subconscious mind (chitta), which influence future habits, tendencies, and behaviours. 

These samskaras can be pleasant, or unpleasant. I basically describe  samskaras in these terms, referring to the yogic understanding. Does it differ in the Buddhist understanding? You tell me.

51 Mental Fromations/Factors

 In Buddhist tradition a samskara is a mental formation...it is a particle of mental form that arises in the mind. There are said to be 51 mental formations, factors, or mind particles. We should, according to Thich Nhat Hanh, be able to recognize and name each one should they arise within ourselves so we can look deeply into them, allow them, understand them and then release them with great compassion should they not serve us or the world.  We do want to release many of these babies when they arise in our mind so they do not impact our lives in a less than wholesome way. It begins with being mindful of them.

 These formations may be deemed  positive, negative, or indiscriminant and are listed under six different categories: Five Omnipresent Factors (Universal); Five factors with a Determinant Object (Particulars); Eleven Virtuous Factors (Wholesome); Six Root Mental Afflictions (Unwholesome roots); Twenty Secondary Mental Afflictions; and Four Variable Mental Factors. 

Let's look at the Five Universal Formations. These include contact (the initial meeting between the sense object and the senses, between the mind and the world), attention (what we selectively focus the mind on), intention (volition or will in our focus), perception(the interpretation of what that sense object means to the body and mind based on past experiences), and feeling (Is the vibration of information we picked up with the senses pleasant, unpleasant or neutral?) These formations are said to arise with every moment of consciousness and are the essential elements shaping our experience of the world.

What are the Five Particulars?\

The Five factors with a determinant object are said to be relative, meaning they can be considered to be wholesome, unwholesome, or neutral depending on the situation. Desire or aspiration, of course, could be wholesome or unwholesome depending on what we are desiring and how attached we are to our object of desire. Resolution and appreciation for what is, is considered to be a very wholesome way to approach life. (Not to be confused with indifference). Mindfulness...being aware and maintaining focus on that which is our conscious experience, seeing through a balanced perspective is wholesome if we are embracing reality. Being mindful of only the so-called negative  or the so-called positive in our experience is not helpful. Concentration can serve us by training the mind to focus steadily on one thing instead of wandering off in many directions as it tends to do. Insight/Wisdom/ and Understanding can be very wholesome when we are willing to look deeply into what we have stored inside and learn from it.  

Then there are the 11 Virtuous or Wholesome factors that we should be always attempting to nurture and grow within ourselves. These include faith, self-respect ( now it is interesting to note in the Vietamese translation it is called shame...Being someone who writes a lot about the toxic effect of shame in our lives, I had a hard time with that. What was meant, I discovered in my research, was that we were to be respectful but humble, free of arrogance, free os self-rigtheousness), decorum/consideration/shame to others/embarrassment (this too kind of hit me hard...again it speaks to the need to be free of pride, for humility in comparison to others. Not to set oneself apart as special or better than...I think humility would be a better word but who am I to say that lol? ), non-attachment, non-hatred/ loving kindness, non-ignorance/nondelsuion/wisdom, diligence/effort, pliancy/flexibility, conscientiousness/heedfulness/care of the mind, equanimity/balanced perspective, and nonviolence/harmlessness/compassion.

Afflictions? 

The Six Root Afflictions are said to be the major cause of all human suffering. They include Attachment/craving, anger/aversion, pride, ignorance, skeptical doubt, and afflicted views such as wrong view. These are the roots to all afflictions or causes of suffering. These roots give birth to the Twenty Secondary Mental Afflictions: rage, resentment, hypocrisy, spite, jealousy, greed, pretense, sly deception.arrogance, shamelessness/pride, unembarrasment/brazenness, dullness, excitation/restlessness, faithlessness, laziness/sloth, heedlessness/carelessness, forgetfullness, lack of meta-awareness, and distraction (natural, external, internal, involving distinguishing marks, nonvirtuous tendencie or attention).

The Four Variables or Changeable mental factors can also be wholesome, unwholesome, or neutral depending on mental state and motivation. They include sleep, regret, Inguiry/looking deeply into self to gain insight, and analysis to understand Truth and gain wisdom. 

51 mind particle energies stored in store conscious (the subconscious) with the potential of arising to the surface of conscious awareness and impacting our lives. Don't know about you, but that sounds like a samskara to me. 

I think in our mission to purify we should understand these 51 factors a little better and be alert to their arising within our minds. The last thing we want to do is suppress and repress them farther, creating more blockages. We do not need to force them out of our awareness....nor do we need to act on them in an unwholesome way.   We simply need to be aware of them and their potential, be willing to look deeply into them, understand them with compassion and mindfulness, and release them when they are ready to be released. 

Hmm!

All is well

Thich Nhat Hanh/Plum Village (August 21, 2020) Our Mind and Mental Formations.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-copiRlX1s&t=4s

Wisdom Exeperience....How the Mind Works Asanga 51 Mental Factors List. https://wisdomexperience.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/how-the-mind-works-Asanga-51-mental-factors-list.pdf

Google AI Overview

Watching Instead of Fruitlessly Trying to Improve

Trying to improve yourself is like trying to lift yourself up into the air with your own boot straps.

Alan Watts

Most of us are on a self improvement kick. We have an urgent feeling that we must improve  the "me" and ask, "Can I improve me, when the person who is going to do the improving is the person who needs to be improved?" Kind of an oxymoron.  

Watts asks, 

What if you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is nothing you can do to be better?

Well, then we would be doing nothing but watching as Life happens and as we react to its happenings. We will be watching Life and we will be watching these humans in Life. 

If you do that...you, at least, give yourself a chance...You are freed from busy-bodiness and this need to improve everything...your nature will begin to take care of itself.

He reminds us:

The great things that you do are really just happenings.

All growth is fundamentally something that happens and it depends on two things, First, you must have the technical ability to express what happens; andsecond, you must get out of your own way. 

We begin to simply watch, allowing Life to be Life and us in whatever stage of human development we are in, be what it is when we realise that doing something about your situation is not going to help you; not doing something about your situation is not going to help you...you are reduced to simply watching

All is well

Alan Watts/Official Alan Watts Org (October, 2025) Mind Over Mind. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHXisYGjvmM&t=3168s

Allowing the Unfolding

 

Just Unfolding

Life is just unfolding,

a rippling wave rippling

in the way the finest cloth will ripple

and you are just existing, 

a delicate thread in the tapestry 

of this unfolding  fabric,

 flapping, flapping, flapping

being swept clean

by the wind of cosmic love.

You cannot control the unfolding.

You cannot control the rippling.

You cannot control the flapping

but you can experience it,

by simply riding on this 

unfolding, rippling,  and flapping wave,

 enjoying  it all. 

© Dale-Lyn (Pen) April 9, 2026

Well, this is what came out of me in less than two minutes (that probably shows lol) as I was listening to Michael Singer-below. Don't judge the poem or the personality that allowed this poem to come through lol.

"I have no right to judge reality...including a person's personality."

I would like for Life to come in to touch me at the depth of my being...always.

Honor and respect that reality wins and reality always wins.

It is really amazing how deep the letting go of yourself path is.

"I can learn to relax...I can learn to be open.

I love the process of cleansing. "

Are you willing to go through the process of cleansing...so you can be free in there?

All is well.

Michael A. Singer/Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True (April 9, 2026) Why Love Stops: The Real Cause of Inner Closure.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DJuF0KFmwY&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1

Beyond the Dark Night

 Freeing the Timeless Essence

There is a timeless essence beyond "me"

hidden in the soul,

beyond the grasping ego

that is always seeking more.

Swallowed by the rubble

of a collapsed philosophy,

confusion is the only marker

that will set the essence free.

Yet, one trips over this pointer

falling flat upon the face,

gets up and moves away from

the wisdom of this place...

Again and again and again,

we  fall as we circle all round

convinced the graveyard of the Self\

will remain hidden in the ground.

Within the grip of interpretation,

that makes sense only to the mind,

Soul's elusive nature seems impossible

to find.

We suffer in the "vanity of vanities"

of a thought stream that is dark,

drowning in its pointlessness

until suddenly there is a spark.

We hear the whispers of ascended masters

saying we will help you friend,

We have shown you how suffering begins,

now we will show you how it ends.

The message, just a tiny little ember

burning within the very core

lights up the sign we missed

and slowly burning more

until

we see where Self has been buried

beneath the mass of  worldly lies,

and digging down we free the Soul

admist triumphant cries.

© Dale-Lynn, April, 2026

This came out as I was listening to Eckhart Tolle in the below linked podcast on the dark night of the soul. Don't judge the poetry lol. 

All is well

Eckhart Tolle/ Sounds True ( April 7, 2026) Eckhrat Tolle LIVE On the Dark Night of the Soul: The Way out of Suffering in Tumultuous Times. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Di5s1DtRbM&t=389s