Ready to Leave the Woods

 I left the woods for as good a reason as I went there. Perhaps it is because I lived there long enough.

Henry David Thoreau

I do not know how much time I have left on this planet and am being pulled to do what I feel I am here to do.  I am not even sure what that is lol.  What I do know, it isn't what I am doing now, drowning in the drama others are creating and feeding, in toxicity, in stuckness. As much as I love this yard with its magnificent trees, its wildlife, its peaceful arms that I just long to be in...as much as I love the woods so close to this house that have comforted me, healed me, and inspired me as I walked along its many trails over the 28 years I lived in this neighborhood...as much as I love this writing corner on my dining room table with the light pouring through the windows all around me...I know I need to remove this physical body from this space so I, and most importantly, others can heal and grow. 

How I clung to this space with white knuckles and fear over the last 16 years I lived here in this house.  So many times I felt the threat of losing it and so many times I clung against all odds. At the same time, I never loved or cared enough for the house itself. Besides the yard and this one spot...the house was always more of a chore and a responsibility that I failed in keeping up than a "home" for my soul to settle in. Still, I clung...for others sake...thinking I needed to provide and protect others when all I was really doing was holding them back from facing the challenges necessary to take them farther on their own journeys. I somehow created a place of stuckness instead of a home. Sigh! 

So, I made a decision to let go, to offer up these walls to someone I love and their family.  They, I hope, will make it into the home it was meant to be. I am not selling, per say, I am creating an opportunity for another who is struggling while at the same time removing myself as an obstacle in the way of others' growth.  That makes more sense to me.  I am not seeking material gain from this transaction...I am seeking something far greater -  peace and relief. 

My most important priority in life is my practice of finding peace, love, and truth. That, I believe, is the greates thing I can do for everyone. For some reason, I cannot practice fully here inside these walls. I cannot seem to grow or expand in this mission.

I believe this decision is a soul inspired one...not an egoic escape.  I believe I am being pulled because it will be in the highest good of all involved to leave these familiar woods. (Some of the others might not recognize that yet but I do).

All is well.