Diversion or Higher Ideal Pursuit?

 

It is not enough to see or understand clearly. The future will be shaped in teh areana of human activity, by those willing to comit their minds and their bodies to the task.

Robert Kennedy

I focus on seeing and undersatnding clearly. I am making this yogic purification so the shakti flow of love, joy ( probably aiming more for peace) can flow through ...my life objective.  I am seeking this "higher ideal" of seeing God in everything...my major purpose to Life.  I am seeking to grow through life experience, accepting Life as it is.  I am allowing Life to do what it does.  I see all the pain around me...I feel that frustration that comes with not being able to "fix" it all...and at the same time I know it isn't mine to fix. I feel it all!

At teh same time I am "actively" doing.  Is my activity part of me embracing this purpose or is it a diversion away from it? 

I am "doing" a lot. I am not attached to outcome...I really am not. I do sooo much....so many projects I am enjoying ( or not enjoying) that I am absorbed in.  I spend my days writing...here but also outside of here.  I am getting two books in a "You Can Write" series for young writers up and that is a time consuming activity. But it is fun...in a weird way.  It took me  over six hours to figure out how to change the headers for each chapter.  Now, I am struggling to figure out how to get the page numbers to flow. Crazy. But I get absorbed in that activity. It takes me away. Diversion or higher ideal pursuit? 

 I am also knitting blankets for each of the grandkids...I look forward to getting to that each evening. It is soothing. And when I knit I dont care about perfection....if half way though I realize that I made a boo-boo...I will, without too much thought, unravel the whole thing and begin again. I tell myself...it is all in the learning and growing as a knitter. I get absorbed again into each stitch. Diversion or higher ideal pursuit?

I am shooting  a bit too.Yesterday I did an engagement photoshoot for my daughter. I usually hate shooting people!!! I always screw up because I like to shoot what is beyond the images and the appearances they wish for me to create. I want to shoot "what is". I hate posing people...Normally, I like to shoot nature, animals, children because it is so natural...I can lose myself in that. I don't mind shooting candid shots of people.  But posed shots...yuck.  Yesterday I did a "pro" shoot (and I am far, far from a pro lol)...and I realized after a few of the posed shots the desire to create an image fell away and I began shooting what is.  As I was shooting that even though it wasn't the type of photography I like to do...I was totally in the moment and I was trying to capture what was there.  I lost attachment to outcome. I was just going to shoot whatever was happening in front of me regardless of how it turned out...told myself I would worry about that later in Lightroom.. So much so that I forgot to pay attention to the details...like what apeture I was shooting at, the best use of the natural light, the best use of the reflector, the best prompts for the couple to show  what they would be happy with later. I prompted them but it was far from professional prompting. I just shot the way I shoot...what was there...what came naturally to my eye. There was so much beauty in them and the world around us...even in those imperfections I picked up. So I shot and I shot and I shot.  Diversion or higher ideal pursuit?

In the last 72 hours I also did up more videos, created more deep relaxation guides ( for me mostly though I offered them to the public).  I dealt with some crap around here and I applied for a job. ( which requires a lot of work-resumes, cover letters etc) . Not really attached to any outcome. Diversion? Higher ideal pursuit?

I have to ask...am I distracting from real life when I go to these activities...are they simply an escape, a diversion from this "problematic life" going on around me...or am I more alive doing these things...being in those moments  of purposeful? or  purposeless? activity that allows time to just pass without the problems of others in the way...without the need for a certain outcome? I mean I get the outcome with each of these things...I finish my books and end up with copies in my hands.  I end up with many pics...some of them really good...many not...some awful even. I have another entry added to my blog every day.  I end up with so many videos a week...now have a lot of guided relaxation practices that are helping me with my relaxation/meditation practice. ( I am not spending as much time as I am used to in complete silence). My grandkids will have new blankets at Christmas. I may or may not get a job but I put myself out there again...my resume is updated.

Hmm!

I was in each and everyone of these activities 100 % each time I was there. All of these "give" in someway back to the world.  They help me to share the weird and imperfect gifts and skills I have with the world in some way- sometimes it is with, practical assistance (learning and education tools), sometimes with encouragement and motivation, other times with " deep truth", and still other times a reflection of the beauty I see (photos, poems etc)...I think, maybe, Shakti, spirit...flows a little bit more freely when I am "engaged" in these things then it does when I perceive myself stuck under the weight of other people's problems. Maybe these activities show me what is "real" in Life more than the other does. Hmm!

Is all this activity diversion or a pursuit for the higher ideal? I don't know yet. 

All is well